Messages By: yewberry

Hi guys - UK fan of Dr Phil here with a career crisis. Having read this thread, I'm so glad I'm not the only one! 

On the face of it, I'm doing okay.  What follows is middle-class whining, please be warned. 

I'm a divorce lawyer : I've been a partner since April in a good firm.  I deal with interesting and complicated divorce cases (usually where the folks concerned have  more money than an objective sense of fairness) - I make good money (for the area of England I live in, at least).  

I was in academic training to be a lawyer for the 7 years before strarting in practice (not having done a law degree, the path to qualification was longer than usual. I actually did a degree in English Literature). 

Compared to many people, I know I've apparently got it good. But but but....... 

Now that I've so-called "made it", I find myself hating my job and hating what it does to me. My life is ruled by the chargeable unit and making my time financially profitable ; I manage a team of 20 people and spend a lot of my daily life chasing them to work more efficiently and profitably whilst being pressured by upper management to kick their backsides. I also live by meeting daily targets in terms of time and fees. 

I've become at the age of 35 an irritable, curt, intolerant person who can't even wait in a supermarket queue without feeling that I'm going to kill the slow person in front of me who insists on paying for £10 of  stuff with a card.  And who has a loyalty card. And vouchers. And who wants a chat with the check-out lady about the weather. 

Or who drives to work and rants and raves at the perfectly ordinary driver in front of her because they aren't driving at 90 mph. 

Or who makes snotty comments to friends and family without meaning to hurt them, but because she's feeling stressed-out. 

Quite suddenly, it's dawned on me that I really hate my job and the person I've become. Nothing in particular has sparked this off. Maybe I'm just more knackered than usual (knackered = exhausted in English-speak). Maybe my 35th birthday has made me revalue my life. Maybe I'm just bored. 

But now I find myself dreading doing through the doors at work. I'm casting about me to think about what else I can do and how I can continue paying my mortgage etc. I'm longing for a complete career change - to something that matters, and to something that doesn't feel like it's crushing my spirit - and at the same time, I'm scared witless. 

Phew, good to get that off my chest? Is there anyone here who has been through something like this ?  

Thanks Renegade ! :) 

Is 35 young ? I suppose it is - but perhaps I'm so, ahem, knackered (in Cockney-rhyming slang, that's cream-crackered) that it feels like I'm 80 sometimes. 

Also, the law is a funny business........there's a lot of demand for 0-4 year qualified lawyers, largely because they're cheaper to employ than experienced people and because they're still hungry for partnership, meaning that they work their butts off to get there. 

Only to reach that point, like me, and feel that it wasn't worth it. 

I dunno if a comedic career would suit me (although I do know hundreds of dirty lawyer jokes)  - I often think about a career which isn't a professional, be-suited, office-based job. Wonder if I could become a lady plumber ?  

For those bullied at work - so sorry to hear that. An employer who allows a bully to intimidate and harrass other colleagues is potentially facing a negligence suit - or at the very least, constructive dismissal. Do you have that in the US ? It's where an employer's  actions of lack of actions effectively forces someone to leave against their will.  

I did legal aid work for 4 years and I have to confess, I hated it. For several reasons. 

Firstly, it seemed to me that the taxpayer was footing the bill for the ridiculous and stupid battles which couples have when splitting up. Usually, it's about the kids ; the parent with care will often seek to limit contact between the kids and the other parent - not because that assists the kids in any way, but because it's a way of extending their personal, emotional struggle. It's also a way of gaining power over the other parent (do what I say or you won't see little Johnny again). I was so firmly against that kind of juvenile behaviour that I refused to do children work ever again. 

Secondly, lawyers have such high targets to meet that doing legal aid work (which is state-subsidised and therefore appallingly badly paid) means that you have to do an average of 12 hours every day to meet the same targets as a commercial lawyer could meet in 5 hours. 

Not my idea of fun, I have to say. I don't deny that there are many who need help to navigate the legal system but there are also many who need someone to tell them"Stop being so stupid and grow up".  

No, my idea of doing something meaningful lies elsewhere but I'm not sure where. Maybe I'll write the next Harry Potter series ?