Hi,
Love Dr Phil & love these message boards. Firstly thank you to everyone who contributes. I will be a regular visitor for lots of sound advice.
My question is how to handle my 15 1/2 y/o daughter discovering her sexuality. I'm lucky, she's been fairly immature up to this point but I am now seeing small changes that tell me she has discovered her sexuality and that boys like her body. She is a voluptious girl and very beautiful, with lots of self esteem & confidence. However, when it comes to boys, she appears to be grabbing at the attention she has recently been getting.
Last year I found lurid sms messages she had sent to a boy from her mobile. We chatted about it and the risk that (a) everyone had access to the message & (b) the perception of herself she was sending out. She seemed to take this on board but now of course, she is not saving her sent messages. She recently got a new phone & not really knowing how to set it up, has neglected to delete her sent mms'. It is a camera phone and I have found 4 or 5 photos she has taken of herself in suggestive poses (all clothes on, just sexy looks, etc) and sent to boys she recently met on school camp.
My dilemma is... Do I tell her I have found the messages and simply alert her to me being able to see them or, how do I discuss this with her without alterting her to me being able to see the messages.
When we bought the phone, it was agreed that both her father & I could and would look at her messages and that she shouldn't consider it a privacy issue. We do the same thing on the internet, etc. However, all that seems to have done is encourage her to hide what she is doing. We talk about most things and I don't believe she has done anything yet... But I remember what it's like to be 15 and suddenly finding yourself the centre of attention of the boys.
I'd love to hear from other teenagers on this and anyone else who has the time. Thanks.
