Messages By: samrmm

I can definitely relate to Melissa, and I know exactly where she is coming from.  I am 20 years old with a birth defect called Osteogenesis Imperfecta (also known as Brittle Bones disease), and one of its side effects is short stature.  I am 3’9” tall, and listening to Melissa’s story really struck a nerve in me. 

I can definitely understand why she made those comments about overweight individuals getting rewarded for losing weight.  I am not at all saying that it is a bad thing, but the way I see it is that overweight people should want to lose weight for themselves; not be bribed with gifts and vacations.  I do understand that rewarding them for their new habits helps them get to their goal weight, but are they really doing it for themselves? 

It angers me when I hear overweight people complain about their weight, because they can change their appearance by going on a diet and exercising, unlike me where I am stuck at a petite height for the rest of my life.  If I were one of those individuals, I would not take my life for granted when I could easily change my “flaws”, because things could be a lot worse!  Of course it would be an up-hill battle, but people have to realize that not everything is easy in life. 

My husband and I have a healthy relationship, and we could never imagine ourselves with anyone else.  We dated for 7 years before getting married, and are going to celebrate our 2 year wedding anniversary at the end of this month.  Here's the thing: we never had a sexual relationship until 6 months before our wedding, and just about 2 months into our marriage I became pregnant and did not feel in the mood for sex and in general did not feel good.  Somehow we got through all of that, maintained a sexual relationship--but one in which I was frustrated because he just wouldn't leave me alone and would molest me (in my opinion) in hopes to magically get me turned on.  I would just break down and give in to him to get him to leave me alone afterward.  I was also upset that he worked so much to where he mostly did not have any days off from work after we returned from our honeymoon, so there were times that in my pregnancy I was sick and he wasn't there to help me out.  I guess at times I resented him for putting his job before our relationship, yet expected me to be a sex goddess when he was around! 

After I gave birth to our daughter, things were not too bad, and he actually started trying to be more sensitive and listen to what I told him would help me get in the mood.  But lately I am dreading sex again for another reason: oral sex.  For months he went on and on talking about it, how much he wanted it, etc.  But I always was grossed out--maybe because of some hygiene issues I have about bodily fluids and germs--and he couldn't understand that.  But one day to show him how much I do appreciate him in my life, I surprised him by giving him oral sex--with plastic wrap!  I know that sounds weird, but I didn't know what else to do because I didn't want to actually put his penis in my mouth.  I also have a thing against swallowing hair, and I would really freak out if I swallowed a pubic hair. 

So now I created a monster and my husband wants oral sex every time we make love.  For a while, he started having edd to where he'd ejaculate prematurely, and he was really embarrassed about being in bed with me.  He wanted me to perform oral sex instead.  Feeling frustrated rather than glad, I gave in.  I understand the whole plastic wrap thing is not even attractive, but I couldn't think of what else to do to combat my issues.  Finally I told him I'd consider using flavored condoms if he still wanted me to do that for him--so he bought some and we tried them out.  I really have no incentive to even give him a blow job, and when I do it I can't wait until I can be done with it!  I know that sounds horrible, and I don't know what to do about feeling that way.  I know that I would NEVER want him to give me oral sex, because that too grosses me out.  But what has been really bothering me lately is that he is trying to get me to put more of his penis in my mouth at a time, and as it is I feel like I want to gag, but I don't want to tell him that and offend him.  What should I do?  I'm so afraid that everything is falling apart and I just want to have fun in the bedroom but not have it to be just oral sex and having intercourse.  Could someone give me some advice? 

   I am in no way trying to start an arguement with anyone.  I was just a little bothered by one of your remarks.  "IF you honestly believe everything you read, for instance that woman was actually made from Adam's rib, then maybe you don't have a problem being told what to do by your man."  I do firmly believe this because it is in the BIBLE.  And I wholeheartedly believe the bible.  With that said, I am in no way a doormat to my husband.  I choose to do all the laundry and cook all the meals but that is because I stay home with our kids.  It's the least I can do for him.  But when he gets home if I haven't felt well or had a rough day and dinner isn't made there is definitely no fights.  He is more than willing to come home and make dinner or at least help with making dinner.  He understands that just because I am a "Stay at home MOM" doesn't mean I sit around all day and watch soaps or the DR Phil show.  I actually record the show and watch it later in the night while I am in bed.  And just another note...Woman actually means.."from man" so yes dear you were made from man.  God created Eve WITH Adam's rib.  If you weren't made from man what were you made from??  Just a question.  I am happy that you are married to a caring individual and that he is willing to help.  But just because I believe what you don't doesn't mean that My husband isn't willing to help.  He is more than willing.  We share all the household cleaning equally.  Yes during the week I keep the house neat and clutter free, but come the weekend we are BOTH cleaning the house.  I wish you the best of luck in your marriage and GOD BLESS 

I think that condoms should be available in schools.  Being a teen and high school student myself i have been through about 4-5 years of sex ed.  By now teens my age should know to use condoms when you have sex and to be safe about it, we know about std's and other consequences that sex can bring almost more than most adults.  I dont think that adults should control what teens think, such as the two adults on Friday's show did.  They both had statistics, but dont really know what they are talking about.  They, as most adults do, think that teens are just stupid and young and niave but the truth is we aren't as stupid and young and niave as they believe.  I know that they once were teens but times have definitely changed.  If teens these days dont know to use a condom or that you can get pregnant from having sex, then they deserve what consequences they get for being stupid and ignorant.  Most teens might be afraid to buy condoms in a store, so by getting one anonymously at school they can still be safe when having sex rather than not safe at all.  Teens will have sex or do what they want, and the truth is that adults probobly cant stop them, so the best help they can give is to help them be safe by providing condoms and knowlege about sex.  You can't control what teens do, but you can try to control how they do it.  

Look, you have no right to call me irresponsible, i live on a cattle ranch, and every year i raise a steer.  I show it and sell it, for thousands of dollars, and now i have tens of thousands of dollars saved up. Caring for my cattle is quite a job and many people dont understand that.  I dont need money to buy condoms, but the thing is many kids might not.  I think it is great that you are worried about your daughters becoming teens and having sex but you should help them out by giving them condoms so you know that they are safe, if sex happens.   Adults and parents are always telling us what to do and what not to do, but the thing is they dont want to help us out.  Giving out condoms is just another way to help, prove their point.  Many adults just want to tell teens what to do, usually because it makes them feel superior,  but dont want to take action. 

You said: "The only way for us to be capable of doing that is to educate us about it before we get the chance to make stupid and UNeducated decisions. " And I couldn't agree more - EDUCATE! 

Why does educate have to mean supplying you? If you want to be smart then be smart, plan the event, go to the drugstore and buy them yourself. If you are old enough to buy them without snickering then maybe you are mature enough to handle the emotions that go with.  

Just because you and your friends convince one another that it is GOING to happen - that don't mean that it happens for every single kid your age. Some of your peers are being smarter than you and your friends can ever imagine at this age.  (But you will when you get a little older.) You will soon realize that saying it don't  make it so. 

YOU NEED TO BACK OFF OF THE TEEN A LITTLE!  IT IS NOT A MATTER OF BEING MATURE OR GROWN.  IT IS ABOUT PROTECTION FROM STD'S AND PREGNANCY!  WHO ARE YOU TO SAY WHO IS SMARTER?  I AM A MOTHER AND I AGREE FULLY WITH THAT TEENS STATEMENT.  AND ONE DAY MOTHER LIKE ME AND MOTHERS LIKE MY MOTHER ARE GOING TO BE PROTECTING YOUR KIDS FROM SOMETHING YOU SHOULD BE PROTECTING THEM FROM.  I HAVE IN THE PAST BOUGHT KIDS AND TEENS CONDOMS AND I WILL CONTINUE TO DO SO.  MY MOTHER BOUGHT HER KIDS AND THE NIEGHBORHOOD KIDS CONDOMS AND BIRTH CONTROL.  JUDGEMENTS LIKE THAT IS WHY KIDS DON'T GO TO THEIR PARENTS FOR CONDOMS OR DON'T TALK TO THEIR PARENTS ABOUT HAVING SEX LET ALONE TELL THEIR PARENTS THEY HAVE ALREADY HAD SEX.  WHAT MAKES YOU ANY BETTER THEN THE TEENS AND THE KIDS HAVING SEX.  I AM SURE YOU HAVE HAD SEX AND I AM SURE YOU LIKE TO HAVE SEX.  IF WE LIKE IT WHY WOULDN'T THEY?  IT IS NOT A MATTER OF WELL THEY SHOULD LOOK TO GOD OR JUST SAY NO UNTIL MARRIAGE.  PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  WE KNOW THAT WILL NOT HAPPEN.  ONLY FOR A VERY FEW NUMBER OF TEENS.  BUT FOR THE REST OF THE TEENS/KIDS THEY NEED OUR HELP AND PROTECTION.  THEY DON'T NEED TO BE JUDGED OR TOLD NO.  AND FOR THOSE PARENTS WHO REFUSE TO GIVE THE CONDOMS AND BIRTH CONTROL ALWAYS REMEMBER IF YOU DON'T THERE ARE MOTHERS LIKE ME THAT WILL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

A MOTHER OF FOUR, 

HENDERSON, NC 

BORN AND RAISED IN PHOENIX, AZ