Messages By: mrsmedic

Quote From: navygurl69

My daughter is going to be 2 soon and she slept in our room for the first year in her playpen at the foot of our bed. My husband has never been around a baby before we had our daughter so he got real nervous that something was going to happen while she slept. So to comfort him, she slept in our room. She went very easily to her own crib. She is used to only sleeping in our bed when: 

1:My husband is away with the Navy and I need some comforting. 

2:She is sick. 

3:If she wakes up from a nightmare. 

  

She is real good about going back to bed if we don't allow her to come to bed with us. We have even grabbed our futon mattress and layed it on her floor so we can sleep in the room with her to calm her down. 

  

One of my friends has a 2 1/2 year old and he wakes up in the middle of the night like clockwork to go into the bed with them. I don't understand why they do it because it doesn't give them any personnal time to themselves. We have told her to try to just let him cry and fall back to sleep and it works when we are there but if no one is there, she doesn't want to hear him cry so she goes and gets him. I think that is rediculous. He also sleeps during his naps and night time with a pacifier in his mouth. He doesn't use it during his naps at daycare and sleeps just fine so I don't understand why she insists on giving it to him while he's at home. That is just confusing him while he's at daycare.  

  

Any suggestions on how I can help her get her child away from the bed and the bink? 

Quote From: jcollins68

I agree with you completly in you saying that parents do not need to argue in front of their kids. I have a bad habit of giving my son something when my husband says no. I am trying to work on that. We are in our first year of marriage, and have alot to work on as a couple.  I am going to try to put my son in his own bed. But let him know that he can still come get in bed with us whenever he gets scared. You are right , it is petty. Thankyou for your advice. I am young and still learning, with alot more still to learn about life and relationships. 

  

Thanks, 

Jamie 

Quote From: puptent

We put him in his bed at night but he always comes in overnight but the difference for me is my hubby is okay with it.  I agree that they are young and need us as parents but I wonder why he doesn't feel secure enough to stay in his bed all night and have tried to help him with this.  I love the closeness that we (hubby and I) have with our son.  I love waking up in the morning with him in our bed -- it is a wonderful feeling but I don't know that I could let it continue if my hubby did not agree. 

  

I don't know that I would say either of you (you and hubby) are wrong but I know that you need to come to an agreement as it isn't good to argue about and in front of your son.  You two need to discuss this and other child situations ahead of time to see what page you are each on.  This will help to avoid future arguments over how to raise your child. 

  

Good luck and hang in there! 

Quote From: utahgirl79

  I agree that when we have to turn our children over (as far as starting school) it is oh so very hard.  I have been a stay-at-home mom since my son was born and really feel blessed that I have been able to.  My son this September started kindergarten. It was hard to turn him over and to trust that everything would be okay.  I mean, deep down I knew that it would be.  I now find myself thinking, "If only he could be 4 again so that him and I could have just one more year together at home."  I wish that the times that I did stress about the messes or the coloring on the walls that I just would have taken a deep breath and enjoyed the time.  Don't get me wrong I wasn't and still am not the type of parent where I stress about making sure everything is in it's right place every second of the day.  

       It's just that I realize now that children grow too fast and to waste those precious moments with them when their little by stressing out is a complete waste of time.   I'm not saying that I have been able to alleviate all  the stresses that come with being a mother but that my perspective is different now.  Time with our children is so precious and I wouldn't trade it for anything else in the world!! 

Quote From: irishmom

 I have three girls, ages 4, 5 and 4months.  I am a stay-at-home mom and also home school because the public school in our area has proven to be an unsafe environment for our daughter.  It can be very stressful managing the laundry, dishes, meals, cleaning, home school curriculum, breastfeeding, taking care of the dog, etc.  Luckily I am a naturally organized person so it isn't quite as bad as it could be, but still can get chaotic at times.  I try to get the kids out as much as possible (we went to the local Natural History Center today for a "field trip") so that the house can stay as organized as possible while I still teach the children. 

Quote From: dearcomet

You are not going to believe this but I have a 16 year old son and a two year old daughter.  I too thought that my daughter should be potty trained by now because my son brought me his diaper at 18 months, yes he did, and told me that he was a big boy and only babies wear diapers and he wasn't a baby anymore.  From then on he didn't wear diapers.   

  

As for my daughter....we have spent hundreds of dollars on potty chairs, books, videos, dolls you name it.  I went to her pediatrician frustrated and broke and asked "WHAT???"  With all his degrees and experience he very calmly told me "She's not ready yet"  

  

Simple words, but he's right, sometimes she tells me when she has to go, sometimes she doesn't.  But I think the fact that I'm not stressing about it is stopping her from stressing and we are plugging along. 

Quote From: britsie

I certainly hope that this show was a wake up call for women who haven't yet had kids. Think it through and discuss it BEFORE you get married. Once you have them, you can't send them back when they become a lot of work or get ill.  

  

No one ever said that you HAVE to have children. That is your personal decision, not your mom's or mother-in-laws' decision. Don't be swayed by others because you are the one who will have to raise the kids you have. Also, don't assume that family members will babysit for you. Don't assume that people without children are dying to babysit for your kids, either.  

  

I chose not to have kids and life is wonderful. My husband and I have never regretted it. I get involved with my friends' kids instead. They are fun for a few hours. But I don't want them 24/7 ! 

  

As a result, we have had more time and money to do things for the community. We have noticed that we are healthier and look younger than our counterparts with children. Neither one of us is on perscription drugs. We haven't had the everyday stresses of parenthood. Our marriage bond in strong because we had the time to nurture it. We were able to weather some serious storms that life has thrown our way, but I don't think we would have made it if we had been distracted by  our childrens' needs.  

Quote From: badtrip

Well, I didn't mean to imply that you have to co-sleep to breastfeed, I just know it makes it much easier for me. I also enjoy it for its cuddling aspect. I wasn't dogging those who don't do it, I actually admire your dedication to still pump in the night to keep your supply going. I also know that a lot of women who do BF are afraid to cosleep because they're just doing what they think is best and they want the best for their kids. I was so afraid to do it that I went through major sleep deprivation in the early days nursing around the clock and sitting up trying to stay awake. I also know that it's perfectly safe to do as long as you follow a few safety guidelines. And a lot of people suffer sleep deprivation or do night time bottles because they need to sleep, I just know that with cosleeping my son and I (and my husband) all get a good night's sleep every night and my son gets to eat as much as he wants, and we're still nursing at 15 months. A lot of moms I know who don't cosleep dry up prior to 1 year. I was just putting it out there as an option although I'm not trying to offend anyone or imply that it has to be done to BF. 

Also, interestingly there was a study that showed that SIDS was higher in babies who slept in cribs than in the family bed.The rate was twice as high for crib babies. While suffocation was more likely in the family bed, the non-SIDs family bed deaths were only 1.5% of the SIDS deaths. For more information on this see www dot askdrsears dot com and search for safe sleeping articles. 

I think this has something to do with breathing in more exhaled CO2, not going into the deepest state of sleep, and also the parents being aware of when the baby stops breathing and being there to assist the baby within moments.