Messages By: tvaddict

If you wish to be a Stay at home Mom- there are part time jobs you can do but the main thing is cutting back on things- My son is 16 now and I have ALWAYS worked some type of part time job so I could be at home when he gets in from school and spend as much time as possible with him adn Hubby. 

Before he started school I kept a few children in my home- gave me extra money but allowed me to be home also. 

When he started school I did substitute teaching at the schools- good hours and since it is on a as needed basis I still had days during the week to get things at home done when he was at school. 

He is now in High School and I clean several houses so I can attend his sports, ect. 

Fortunatly I have a supportive husband so I can do this. 

Look at your bills and see where things could be cut back on- 

phone bill, cell phone bill, cable, power, gas, groceries,  

Do a budget and stick to it. 

Good luck- I think kids grow up so quickly I dont blame anyone who wishes to be at home with them- however it is NOT for everyone :) 

My son who is now 16- has played baseball and football since the age of 5. He loves both sports. 

He has never NOT wanted to play however if he said he wanted to quit one I would not MAKE him play. I am glad he stays involved in at least 2 sports per year.  

Not only does it keep them busy after school but it encourages them to keep their grades up in order to play. 

I think as long as a child CAN handle sports and grades it is great. I do think it teaches them alot in life. However I am not the type of parent that says MAKE THEM PLAY. If they dont have the desire to do so- your waisting your time. 

Chill out dud - 

I understand in A WAY where you are coming from however I am a wife and mother. 

I too would like to see my house look perfect, things always in order, ect. 

I used to be really bad about this- kinda obssesive to a point. 

I soon had to realize to let things go.  

I had this idea that IF anyone ever stopped by my house It HAD to look perfect. 

Well now I have the attitude that IF someone stops by my house and its not- I HOPE they see more than JUST the structure of a home and the things inside. 

I hope they see a happy family. I hope they see a couple STILL in love after 14 yrs of marriage. 

I hope they see a mom who has always put her son first and worked part time meaningLESS jobs 

just so she could be there for his games, school functions, ect. 

My son is now 16 years old and let me tell you TIME FLYS. 

The best thing a parent can do for thier child is not only show love- but 

show respect to thier mother and TIME... TIME... TIME.. with them. 

My main advice to you is dont take life so serious. 

Live IN THE MOMENT and LOVE it. 

Hope things get better. 

You have a lovely family. 

Lynne from Georgia 

I dont think its particulary the wifes job or husbands job to do ALL the chores, ect around the house. 

I think its a joint effort. 

Now, If the wife does not work or only works part time/ several hours a week then yes I think she should step up and do things around the house. BUT, this also goes if the role were reversed. 

In our household, I work part time so therefore I do 90 % of everything. BUT it is definatly NOT because my husband will get angry, ect. I do this while he is at work and my son is at school so once they get home things are done and we ALL can spend quality time together. 

When my husband has days off. He does NOT just sit around doing nothing. He will pitch in and help do things. But our main prioirty has always been to try and spend quality time together. 

Does this mean the house is always perfect - NO. 

But life is short- Enjoy, Live, and Love :) 

I dont think he wants out, ect. If he did it would be much easier to divorce instead of coming on a show and letting the world be in YOUR business and bash you-  

And I hope they dont divorce- 

I just think he has a hard time being open minded and letting things go. 

This COULD BE from how he was raised, ect. WHO KNOWS ? Many reasons behind what makes a person like they are. 

I have a brother in law who USED to be JUST like this. He thought things HAD to be perfect. 

I really think if he would relax and be more open minded- GET over the what NOT done on a list but what FUN things could be added.  lol 

Marriage does take both partners- I hope in time they can come together and come to SOME sort of agreement. Now as far as the NOT wearing the ring thing... I definatly dont get that one. Its kinda as if he is trying to say , IF things dont go my way then I want show the world Im happy with you and married. 

Marriage is in the heart- I just hope he takes time and thinks what if something happened to her- Would he want this on his shoulders from now on- She DOES need to KNOW he loves her unconditonally- 

Yeap- in marriages we all get fed up with things- BUT thats life- Live and learn by it and get over it. 

Just dont add up to me- Maybe I just didnt BUY into his innocents he tried to betray on TV. 

Im not saying the mother is perfect but I also feel she is in a Lose Lose situation. 

He, too seemed to me to be a manipulator and liar. 

I believed the women when she said she would pay for what happened on the show. 

I think JIM thought bringing her on the show would make her want to stay with him, That Dr. Phil would make HER look bad. Personally I think the opposite. I think Jim was made out to look like 

 a man that was keeping his children from her out of spite. 

I would HATE to be in that situation and I hope the children do not continue to have to live 

under all this. 

If they had an aggrement to spank the children when married- what gave him the right to USE that against her afterwards- He saw the chance and took it. 

IF it were just that I may say he may honestly have been concerned but he also talks bad about the mom in front of the kids. 

Kids will grow up and have there OWN opinion about a parent- They dont need coached into it- 

ONE day... this may backfire on JIM . 

The child IS the one who is hurt. The father did handle it badly. I feel there probably has been too much time gone and things said for her to still feel as a part of his life. I would hope in time they could have a relationship of some kind. I dont feel he should have to continue paying child support but I do feel thats where he messed up was acting like it was a money issue.

I think the mom is at fault for not being honest in the first place. Unfortunatly, the mom still gets the opportunity to be with the child (even though she started all this and lied in the first place).

I think the mom does not need to be talking bad about the dad in front of the girl. For one, thats a problem between her and her EX, she needs to let it be because if the girl really would like a relationship she will feel as if she cant be honest with the mom due to her anger, ect.

On the other hand, there are alot of men out there who have children who are never there beginning, middle or end. Its up to the kids later in life to decide whether or not they wish to meet or have a relationship with them.

I do think the Ex does love this girl even if he handled it in a bad way. The new step dad can fulfill this but what would it hurt if the girl had relationships with both. She is loved by many.

I just hope she finds peace in her heart whatever she decides to do and dont blame herself for any of this.