Messages By: sherrimo

Dateless Giant,  LOL! 

Come on! 5'9" is not exacty a circus freak!  I'm almost as tall as you are and have no problem attracting men.  What men like are not 'petite' women, they like THIN women. They like thin women, be they tall or short.  This is a sad but true fact.  Petite means short, not thin.  If you have ever accidently wandered into the petite section at the department store, you will see the sizes go all the way up to 16 plus. They are just cut SHORTER.  As a matter of fact, I believe that most men would prefer a taller woman as opposed to a shorter woman, if given the choice.  Taller women are more graceful in appearance, and get noticed!  Look at all the fashion models.  TALL!   Tall women can carry a few extra pounds much easier than a short woman.  But the bottom line is, men like thin women.  It's not fair, and it's superficial, but it is a fact, nonetheless.  Stop thinking that you can't get a man because you are 5'9".  That is silly.  Be proud of your height.  I even wear heels! 

Nichelle, 

When I watched your segment on Dr. Phil, I had nothing but sympathy for your situation.  It sounds like you are totally on your own. I don't recall anything being said about the father during the show, but it sounds like he is not around.  It's difficult enough to be a good mother to healty, normal children.  I can't even imagine what you must go through on a daily basis. 

You are trying to raise a child under very difficult circumstances, without any special training or education on what could help your situation.  I for one will admit I would not want to have to be in your position.  I can't say that I could do any better.  I have not walked in your shoes. 

I hope for you all the best, and hope that you can find some support and education that might make your life easier. 

Bless.... 

Internet dating is only a means of meeting people, nothing more.  The two people will either hit it off, find an attraction, or not.  It is no different than meeting someone at a social event for the first time. The internet is simply a way for single people to meet other single people in their area that they would never otherwise meet.  Many singles do not have the opportunity to meet people at work, they do not like to hang out in bars, and they do not feel comfortable trying to approach people they may run into in public, not knowing if they are single or not. 

I met my current boyfriend on match.com.  He has been wonderful, and we both feel such a strong connection to each other, and so comfortable together.  In December we will have been together one year.  He has been one of the greatest relationships in my life.  And no, there are not guarantees it will work out.  But there would be no guarantee either, had I met him across the produce island at the market. 

Don't be so critical of something you know nothing about. 

I am amazed how anyone who does not work would even expect that their spending habits would not be a source of contention in a relationship.  If you choose not to work for whatever reason, even staying home with the kids, you are putting yourself in a position to have no control over the household money. If you are in this situation, don't complain about it, go get a job.  

I got my first job at age 15 and have worked ever since.  I don't expect someone to 'take care of me', or pay my way.  I just moved in with my boyfriend and we split all household bills down the middle.  If he 'chose' not to work, you think I would for one second say that I would pay all the bills??  That's what women do all the time.    

I, for one, could not stand to give up my independence or my own income even if I ever married Mr. Moneybags.  The pride in knowing that I was responsible for getting where I go in life is priceless.  Don't give up on independence to have the 'luxury' of staying at home, and not having a paying job.  It's SO not worth it.  

Dogs do not urinate in the house because they are naughty, or because they don't care, or because they are trying to spite you.  If a dog urinates in the house it's because YOU are not watching close enough, and letting them outside  often enough.  Or, it could be a health problem, or a training issue. 

To put a dog on a two week punishment is crazy.  A dog has no clue why you are mad, or what they did wrong unless you catch them right in the act at the moment it happens.  You are only succeeding in making your dog a fearful, and poory socialized, and very sad creature, who actually probably loves you despite all of your abuse. 

When I was 21, I was engaged to a potential "Jeffrey".  Thank God I got out of that realationship before it was too late. Don't blame the victim in this type of situation. It doesn't start out ugly. It starts out fairly normal, and turns uglier and scarier over time.

I dated this guy for two years, and by the time I had to break it off, he was totally and completely obsessed.  Some of his behaviour towards the end;

If I went out with the girls, he would leave a rose on my doorstep (we did not live together) and sign it 'from the guy you met last night'  (To see if I DID meet someone and would tell him or not about the rose).

He had NO friends of his own, and was not liked by those who knew him.

He could not hold a job and it was ALWAYS the fault of his boss.

He would call my house every night at 5:10 , even as I was putting my key in the front door getting home from work. (Had to know I was home)

He told me he cried all the way to his vehicle after dropping me off at the airport to visit my brother in another state (weird!)

I came to realize that I had to get OUT of this relationship, and I was scared.  After dating the guy for two years, and being engaged for two months, I got the strength to break it off. And I will tell you, when the guy is obsessive, and unstable, this is a VERY frightening thing to do. So much so, that I even hid my set of kitchen knives that night. I was that unsure of how he would react. 

He was horribly upset, and did stalk me for a while after that, but we did finally go our separate ways.  But to make sure, I did move to another city.  This was over 20 years ago, and I still remember it vividly.

What for those warning signs, don't ignore, and get out before it's too late.