Messages By: jemala

 This is not about giving Scott Peterson more TV time. How many people really think about how jurors are affected by the cases they are involved in?

And, how many times has a horrific crime occurred with Everyone who knew the perpetrator saying things like "never would have expected this" or "he was such a nice, helpful person" or "he was such a quiet, well-behaved guy".?

I'm living in the middle of a situation like that right now. My now mid-20's stepson was very well behaved while I was dating his father. Very intelligent and doing well in college. 3 months after our marriage, he started acting out and it hasn't stopped in past 4 years. He is now in college #8, owes money all over the place, is able to charm his way into more loans ($7000.00 worth of jewelry despite bad credit reports and no job! 2 years ago), has ex girlfriend who suggested to me that I read all the books written about Scott Peterson as "he has the same behaviors" - so I did. Read the books written by Scott's sister, Lacy's mother, Dr Keith Ablow, etc. And I found my stepson's journals to read - they are full of thoughts about how myself and my adult children should be dead - but also he wrote that his parents and himself should die. He is smart enough to have written how dysfunctional his family was and still is. He was raised an only child - born one year after his 2 1/2 year old brother died from being run over by the family car. He wrote that he was glad his brother had died and that he had his parents all to himself. His ex-girlfriend is correct. He has many of the same behaviors and his mother and father raised him similiar to how Scott's mother and stepfather parented Scott.

My stepson has no conscience and no empathy for others. He now has a criminal record, but will eventually  get smarter and not get caught. He did marry a girl he met on the internet - good thing she did not become pregnant! She divorced him after 20 months of marriage as she was working 2 jobs to support them and he wouldn't even pick up his dirty dishes in the apt. She did choose to believe all his lies and would not listen to those of us who tried to tell her about him, so I don't feel sorry for her experience. Just hope she learned from it. 

He is a Canadian citizen but INS won't pull his green card. The man I soke with said my stepson  has the same right to not pay his bills & to commit crimes as we American citizens do. He was convicted of a Felony Oct 2005. I sent those court documents to INS but nothing has happened. Probably because the sentence is "deferrred" while he is on probation & pays restitution ($50/month for $3600 owed). Once he has completed that, he is eligible to request that his court record on this case be expunged (1st felony offense).

He has gotten close to 50k of US college financial aid. I doubt he will ever pay it back. He went from studying to be electrical engineer technologist to electrical engineer and is now  a Math major. His women professors are now trying to help him get a teaching job at another college. I shudder at the thought of him taking advantage of an impressionable freshman girl on campus. Just hope if anyone marries him again, that person will not want to have children. There is no way he will compete with a child for his parents attention. His mother still gets his father to give their son thousands of dollars every year (I make over 50k a year and my husband earns less than 15k/year!) I put my foot down about paying for the lawyer - so his mother got her brother to give him over $3000 for that expense.

I fully expect to pick up a newspaper, turn on the radio or TV and hear that he has been arrested for "alledgedlly" murdering someone. It would also not surprise me if he started doing something like the Unabomber did.

As for me? I am filing for divorce on our 4th wedding anniversary next month. Have asked, requested, begged, pleaded with my husband to go to couples counseling with me. He knows what his son is - he listed his son's behaviours and stated that they matched the criteria for Anti-Social Personality Disorder (sociopath/psycopath in laymen's language). yet he won't ever say no to his son or hold him responsible for his actions. (My husband says it is the college's fault my stepson committed grand larceny. My husband's ex told me it was my fault as I wouldn't let my husband support his son and daughter-in-law. She also threatened to "come down there and fix you!" which sounds like a threat to me. She lives in Montreal.) I suspect I could get rich writing a soap opera based on these 3 people and their actions over the past 6 years. Oh yes, the daughter in law also - she was quite a character, always accusing others of ruining her life, her jobs, etc.