Messages By: kcitsme3

 Thank you for understanding, and taking the time to respond. Sometimes it's hard being the "new guys" so to speak... We really do have a lot in common!  Whats next  you ask?? More conversation I'm afraid is the only answer. Believe me when i tell you, that sometimes the talks seem too just go nowhere, and you think you have said it all(and probably have!) a thousand times, but sometimes, the men in our lives just don't get it, or simply choose not too...A sad situation indeed, but if your marriage is worth saving, and you want it to be-without all the BS, then i guess we just sit their dumb butts down and say it again, and again, and again, until it finally sinks in!!! 

Good luck to you too, I'm on here now, so anytime you want to vent or chat, i'll be in...and no, we are definetely NOT the only ones going through this!  

goin crazy- 

I have to say...I agree 100% with your last two post. 

Security???? Why are these so called "secure" women going around saying how damn secure they are....that they can't tell their spouses to not look because that wouldn't be fair????!!!!  That sure sounds like secure to me. 

I know a lot of 'secure' women.  And never has a single one of them said they can't speak up for fear they would appear unfair.  Maybe there is a new definition to the word 'secure." 

What I am secure about is this. That my husband loves and respects my marriage enough to leave the porn behind. What I am secure enough about is the fact that I don't have to say things like "He looks at teen porn....although my children are the same age."  I think what we have here is someone hiding behind the word 'secure' because they don't have a voice as a wife or a women. 

And isn't it great.....that one of the posters says her husband is able to seperate porn from the person he is viewing. That is what porn does. It takes away the face of a person. and it leaves people who are only interested in making sure that they use others for their own benefit.  You know....IT ALL MAKES ME SICK!!!!!!!!! 

Excuse me, but when's the last time you were in MY bedroom or seen MY body.  I haven't got the slightest "jealous bone" in my body.....I have two very nice breasts and a really nice butt too.  My husband loves them....I can tell....it's pretty easy to see what's turning him on, because I AM in the room with him...and believe me, it's "hard" for  a man to hide it when he's "happy with " what he has with him.  I take real concern and pride in being all that I can be as a woman, the wife of my husband.  I take real care of myself too!  I also appreciate beauty and know that it exists...it's everywhere...and that's nothing new to our society.  I also know that men get turned on to that beauty and enjoy looking at it.....my husband does it all the time....and because it's me he's looking at doesn't make my marriage ABnormal either.  The point is, he can touch, taste, feel, and explore with me and I am happy to be the ONLY participant to that.  And after all these years....it's still something awesome.   And THAT is what I promote, is marriages CAN and DO last a lifetime as they were intended to with ONE on ONE partnership. 

I DO fight for greater causes...do YOU?  I am in a partnership with other mothers and parents that support the morality of this country....and someday, you might be one of those parents who are thankful that someone like myself actually DID something about it.  And NO, this country isn't at WAR because of pornography....how ignorant of you to even say something so rediculous.  Keep making fun of what is important,.....and in your whispers at night, make sure you pray this doesn't touch your life in the same negative way it's touched millions of marriages.....it's not "IF" but WHEN it happens.  And you won't be any wiser about it then because you will have convinced yourself that the next level is normal too, I am sure. 

Luv 

For those of you that believe the Bible, good for you. But the United States isn't for Christians only. I was raised Jewish. I have friends who are Jewish, Muslim, Atheist, Agnostic, Hindu and Buddhist, and they all pay the same amount of taxes to this country and have the same right to worship or don't worship as they see fit. So don't use the Bible in legal matters. My father is Caucasian and my mother is Filipina, people in this country used the Bibled against interracial marriage not that long ago and according to some Christians I should have never been born because their book tells them so. 

As far as gay marriage goes, I don't realy see heterosexuals really keeping the "sanctity of marriage" alive. I really don't think gays could do any worse.  

Many gay people have children, being married would protect their children to have two parents instead of the non biological one or legal guardian just completely skipping on their obligations. So allowing gays to get married would protect children. Also, it would allow gays to protect themselves and their own assests better and have their spouse benefit from SS and medical benefits.  

I am not saying that you necessarily have to agree with their lifestyle, but no one is asking for you to. There are heterosexuals that do things all the time that I disagree with on ethical grounds but it's still their business. 

BTW, I am a happy, heterosexual female in a monogamous relationship. 

I am not sure what you issue is with oral sex or sex in general.  But you need to maybe see a Sex Doc, by yourself.  He is wanting his wife to please him, that is normal?  He is only wanting what all men want and it;s actually nothing kinky, just hard for you for some reason.  You need to find ways that work for you. BUT you have to open up and let go.  YOU are really missing out on the oral sex thing.  I have never had the big "O" that way before until my recent b\f and WOW,,,,,, you need to sit back and relax and love loving you husband and let him please you, you please him and make love like you mean it!  add some wild life into it, in a way you can handle it. 

Hi, I am a 38 year old male with 4 kids & been happily married for 14 years - when we were 1st married I spent all of the summer naked around the house with no protest from my wife & she was well aware of my naturist nature as when ever we went to a secluded swimming hole I always was nude - she even did it too! 

Even when our first child was born she did not mind me being naked, she would video me playing with our child naked (camera angle above waist) 

Then as the children grew up she started to get more & more prudish & started to ask me to cover up in front of the kids, (which I did to keep the peace) 

Last summer we lived at house with a pool & she tolerated me swimming nude at night, but this year (I am in Australia - hot days of spring started already)  she is freaking out if I lay in bed nude! 

Now the children are 8 (boy) 6 (boy) 4 (girl) & 2 (boy) & she has got it into her head that I am some sort of pervert who gets off on cavorting around naked to give myself pleasure, I have pointed out to her if this was the case why don't I have a erection & she brushes this off - she says I must love myself - I reply that I am more comfortable nude - she will then say I am no stud either which I find a put down, I asked her if I toned up & lost a bit of weight could I walk around nude? she didn't have an answer for that one! 

I want other womens opinion's about this issue, am I normal? if so what can I do to convince her? I think she is being overprotective of the kids, I belive they should be exposed to nudity so when they grow up it is not a big taboo/obssesion etc 

I don't expect you to "change" or join in on the "other side" after all that would be impossible now, your marriage is "used" to using porn and the problem would be if you were to change now, it would likely cause a problem in that....so I totally understand. 

BUT, for those women who DO NOT WANT OR ACCEPT porn...I will continue to give the FACTS about it and offer what I can.  They don't have to "get into my box" but maybe stand up for their marriages a little more. 

So sorry about the "ole man" comment, I just assumed because of the necessity of porn maybe there was some "age factor" in all this.  Maybe not, maybe it's just a naturally stimulating thing that you two require....and hey, that's ok.  Just stay prepared for the outcome of it all in the end...ok. 

Anyway, gotta run for the wkend...things to do.  See ya.  Luv and hey, best of luck tonight....sincerely.  And hey, if you need any tips on stuff you could actually do for yourself that would "spice" it up in the bedroom, just feel free to ask. Ok.  I believe in empowering women to be the best they can be in that department....sometimes, all it takes is a few walks during the week for 30 minutes to get energized and motivated.