Messages By: rissa140
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October 12, 2005, 2:18 pm PDT
 I'm all for parents protecting their kids & caring about what they're doing BUT, the 2 mothers on todays show were absolutely too overprotective!!! I mean Teresa literally CRIED when Dr. Phil allowed Ashley to ride the bus and she wouldnt even allow Ashley to participate in any after school activities!!! That is way too extreme! I mean, in a way I can understand about the whole bus thing because Its a safety issue with me also..... I'm 19 years old and I will not take public transportation(city bus, cab, plane, train) alone, I never have & most likely never will unless someone is with me (but thats just me)!And one day when/if I have kids, thats something that we'll have to discuss but I'm not going to forbid them from taking it and I certainly would not CRY when they stept foot into whatever their taking! Then there's Diane and her daughter Dana, I mean dana is a grown, 43 year old woman.... her mother doesnt need to (and shouldnt) be controlling every aspect of her life!!! She can make her own decisions and live her life the way she wants to! Both mothers had very unfortunate events happen in their lives & I totally get that but they need to deal with their pain & fear without inflicting it on their kids cause they're hurting their daughters and destroying the relationship between them! Theresa needs to let Ashley be a young girl before she becomes really rebellious & resents her and Diane needs to just mind her own business. There is a way to teach your children how to be responsible and protect them without going way overboard and parents just need to find that balance!!! |
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October 13, 2005, 10:32 am PDT
I'm having very mixed feelings about this HORRIBLE situation! First and for most, I'd like to say that I have great sympathy for BOTH famililes and I'm very sorry that this has happened!!!
I really dont know what to believe because both sides seem sketchy & have some shady claims.
There are definately things in Brandy's statement(s) that dont match up/make sense. For instance, she claims she was in total shock and her mind went blank, but yet, she was able to try & cover up the incident and lie to her parents about what had happened. She also claims that Daniel abused her (could've been physically, verbally or emotionally) and threatened to kill her & her brother (also himself, which I'll discuss in a few), so why in the world would she go to his house late at night, 30 minutes away, by herself??? You'd think if she was afraid of him or that worried, she would bring at least one other person with her! These things dont make sense to me!
There are also things in Daniel's/his family's case that are sketchy . For example, his sister first said that she was in the house (when daniel & brandy were outside) and then went outside when she heard Daniel getting hit w/ the car, BUT THEN she changed it up & said she seen the whole thing happen! So my question is, which one is it??? It seems to me that the sister may be lying & cant keep her story straight! Also his sister claims that brandy started an agument with daniel & was yelling at him, BUT supposedly someone named Stephanie was also there and had her back to the door & said she couldnt hear what they were saying! So one of them (the sister or stephanie) is lying about the aruging being loud or not loud enough to hear! There are also claims that he had emotional problems and that could be very true.... being 18, having raging hormones, being stressed out and having family issues like not having his mom in his life for 5 years & much more that maybe his family did not know about! Which leads to brandy's claim that daniel threatened to kill himself if she left him and when people want to commit suicide or contemplate it, there's no telling in what they'll do, so it IS very possible that he was so upset & angry that he wanted to end his life & chose to jump in front of the car!
Either way, BOTH families lives have been torn upside down & are suffering from this tragic incident! I can understand the anger, the hurt & the need for justice from daniel's family, BUT they need to realize that it was NOT brandy's parents fault for what happened and that they're suffering from this too, maybe not as bad as they are cause they're right, in reality, they still have their daughter but they ARE IN FACT SUFFERING AS WELL!!! As for brandy's parents, I can understand them wanting to desparately prove their daughter's innocence but I do think they could've been a little more sensitve torwards daniel's family..... and to make things clear, NETIHER family had the right to attack the other one, there really was no need for any of it!!! I also believe that brandy WAS remorseful & I think thats amazing considering that she claims he abused her! I know that if my boyfriend was abusing me and something like this happened, I'd be lying if I said that I wasnt a little relieved..... I dont mean to sound harsh, I really dont, but what I do mean is that, I'd definately feel remorse and feel just awful for putting his family through this, but I would also be relieved that the abuse was over! Personally, I think that the case was poorly investigated and that the police need to re-investigate it.... maybe give brandy a lie detector test if that hasnt already been suggested, that way both families will have REAL FACTS & not accusations and IF brandy is guily, then she deserves to be in jail! Then hopefully they all can start the healing process, maybe get some counciling and move on with life! Yes, it'll be really hard, but it's what needs to happen in order to pick up the pieces & be there/around for the rest of their families that need them!!! Bottom line: whether this was an accident or intentional, both of these families are suffering tremendously and need to deal with the pain within themselves & their family and STOP attacking & blaming each other! Once again, BOTH families have my deepest sympathy! |
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October 22, 2005, 12:03 pm PDT
What is wrong people? First off, how can u claim to LOVE someone but yet, u call them all those nasty names? And secondly, how could someone or should I say WHY WOULD someone STAY with another person who disrespects them & calls them nasty, horrible names??? I know I sure as hell wouldnt be with someone who had that much disrespect for me, or ANY disrespect for that matter.......It doesnt make ANY sense! If these people SERIOUSLY want to stay together than I hope they get some SERIOUS counseling, and if they or one of them isnt serious about getting help, then they need to say buh bye & go their separate ways..............especially if they're children involved cause they dont need to hear their parents calling each other those names! That WILL have some kind of impact on them, kids learn what they see & hear and if they see & hear their parents disrespecting each other, then they'll most likely disrespect them, as well as each other & other people! Wow, the show hasnt even aired yet & I'm already ranting & raving, LOL! I cant wait to see it........ but seriously, I URGE these people to get some help! There is NO need for all the disrespect! |
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October 22, 2005, 11:13 pm PDT
Quote From: flitrflies I think women who aren't comfortable with there own sexuality have a real hard time letting their hair down in the bedroom (or where ever you have sex!).
Having 4 children, I have had many 'ups' and 'downs', if you will, when it comes to playful times the bed. I love to have sex in public places. However, I won't be the top person in the bedroom, my thighs are too big, and I'm afraid I'll squish him. Seriously.
I have even brought another woman into our bed so the three of us could play out our fantasies! There were no conflicts because of our threesome.
Love and sex, for me, and I am now finding out for my husband, has it's ups and downs. My husband and I use to has sex everyday. That was just a few years ago. Now I'm lucky to have him once a week, sometimes I think he just gives 'it up' for his own release. I think about sex constantly all day long. I'm not sure if it's my 'sexual' peek or if it's hormones. I had baby, she's 10 months. The first trimester of my pregnancy, I was a 'nympho'. I was even masturbating twice a day. I was totally out of control. My husband also has a new hobby.
Although he has always had an interest in video games. He started playing an on-line game ... Final Fantasy X1. It's a role playing game. For those of you who are familiar. He plays it ALL the time. It has even caused problems in our relationship. And now to our sex life. I think he even thinks about play the game while we are having sex. That's probably the reason behind us only making love once a week. His thoughts are occupied by the game and not of me. I have had numerous conversations about the 'game', but he just doesn't get it. I have even told him I'm going to find a woman for myself! He doesn't see anything wrong with that!
Funny how I can totally tell the nation about my sex life. I think it is absolutely important in a marriage. For both partners to give themselves to their mate, even if they have a headache. Every one loves sex. They just have issues sometimes that need to be dealt with. Don't ever hide behind the fact that there is something else bothering you therefore you don't want to pleasure your mate. Think of all the calories you'll burn! Sex is a great outlet to release stress also. Just do it!
As with any other aspect of a marriage, each partner has to have communication, patience and be able to compromise, how else are you going to get what each of you desires.
Happy Love Making Let me start by saying that this post is NOT to attack you or anyone in anyway.....its simply my opinion! And I commend you for being comfortable enough to talk about your sex life on such a public board!
I feel that I'm pretty comfortable with my sexuality BUT I dont really agree with the whole having sex in public thing, I think thats something that should be done in private! People just shouldnt be having sex in parks, movies theaters, etc. where anyone, especially children could see whats going on! My best friend has had sex in movie theaters & everytime she tells me, I cringe & ask her how she can do it! I personally would NOT want to suddenly turn around, walk up or down the aisle and see a couple having sex.......if I wanted to see people having sex, I would just watch a porn movie or something! So I believe that people CAN be completely comfortable with their sexualities and not want/like to have sex in public! In my opinion, KEEP IT IN YOUR HOUSE!
Personally, I see NOTHING wrong with bringing a 3rd person in the bed & playing out fantasies every now and then, AS LONG AS BOTH PARTNERS ARE OK WITH IT & AGREE ON THE PERSON! I seen a Dr. Phil show before where a couple had a 3some & it eventually started ruining their marriage & Dr. Phil told him it was wrong to bring a 3rd person in the bed.....THEN on another show, he debated the issue with a sex therapist, who saw nothing wrong with it, it was interesting! Anyway like I said, as long as both people are ok with it & the other person......then I see no problem with it! It seems like it could be fun if its done for the right reasons (like doing it JUST to "fix" a problem wouldnt be a good reason) & with the right person!....... GO FOR IT!
Sex in a marriage IS important BUT, its NOT the MOST important thing!!! I'm no doctor or sex therapist but from observing your post it seems like the sex is REALLY important to you.....like it could be the most important! Once again, i'm not trying to attack you & I could be wrong, it just sounds like most of your focus is on sex! And if you do see it that way or are having a lot of issues with not having sex as much as you used to, then mabe you & your husband DO need to seek the help of a sex therapist! Just a suggestion! The other thing that led me to believe that sex was more important to you was when you said, "For both partners to give themselves to their mate, even if they have a headache. Everyone loves sex. They just have issues sometimes that need to be delt with. Don't ever hide the fact that there is something else bothering you therefore you don't want to pleasure you mate.......Just do it!" That statement really got me thinking, yes everyone loves sex but I'm sorry........If I have a headache or I just dont feel good, I'm not going to be pleasuring ANYONE (not even myself) if I'm not in the mood! Why should I just forget about whats bothering me, just to have sex with my mate cause he's horny??? Sex should be enjoyed by BOTH mates, so why would/should someone have sex with their mate when they know they (the person who is "bothered" or sick) wont enjoy it??? That just doesnt make sense to me! Then you say that each partner has to have the ability to communicate, be patient & compromise........which is true, but it sounds like you just contradicted yourself! How are you supposed to "just do it" to please your mate when you have a headache & aren't in the mood and have patience & compromisation (if thats a word, lol) at the same time? Just wondering!
I cant wait to see what these couple have to say & ask and what Dr. Phil's advice is.......this show looks really interesting!
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October 23, 2005, 10:25 pm PDT
Quote From: pdicken2 This lady should be ashamed of herself. Didn't she say the wedding vows, that include "in sickness & health". If so she sure isn't carrying them out now. I can't imagine her resenting her husband because of his illness. She has got to be ONE of the most selfish people in the world. Does she realize that she is probably hindering her husbands healing & reccovery with her selfish & greedy attitude.
I have a chronic illness which will only get progessively worse. When I found this out last year I told my "so called best friend" who showed me NO EMPATHY. Her attitude was "I don't want to be so close to you anymore, because I have dealt with enough of other epoples illnesses & deaths. I was only partially surprised since after I passed out a family event of hers she told me what an embarrment I was to her. Like the previous writer I have found out who my TRUE friends are. I know now who my friends are & who won't be there for me in the future. This goves me more time & energy to spend with & on my real friends.
I hope this husband recognizes his wifes problem & makes changes in his life for his own good. I can't imagine what else this wife will use to find fault with him. I agree with u 100%!!! When I saw the preview of this story, I was absolutely DISGUSTED! This woman is soooo disgraceful for resenting her husband over something he has NO control over! She needs a SERIOUS reality check and I CAN NOT wait to see/hear dr. phil give her one, I hope he chews her out so bad cause she sure as hell deserves it! And I too, hope that this husband realizes how SICK his wife is and get the proper help & support he needs! My heart goes out to him! |
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October 24, 2005, 10:17 am PDT
Quote From: mrsdbc427 This is my second marriage. When we married I didn't even know my husband smoked (cigars and he inhales)--he also failed to mention that he smoked weed and was addicted to pain killers. At first I believed he was truly in pain, but when you see him go thru withdrawl every few months and "take to his bed for a week" forget it. He quit weed a few years ago which saved a ton of money but now has replaced that with three acks of cigars a day. I paid for his insurance after we got married--he wouldn't go to a regular doctor to see what was wrong just kept going to "pain management" doctors to get his drugs--he has no definitive diagnosis--he has had MRI's etc and nothing shows up. He enjoys smoking and really doesn't want to quit. SO--I can tell you this, if he does get COPD or lung cancer and needs treatment it will be on him. I worked very hard for years as a single mom raising two kids and buying a house--I did not want to remarry and have someone who fails to take care of himself and spends tons of money on his pain meds and doesn't pay his bills. He also has a history of heart problems in his family and knows that smoking is not good for that. If someone has a medical emergency totally out of their control that's one thing but when they purposely contribute to medical problems, I have little sympathy! Your situation & the poster u responded to have VERY DIFFERENT situations than the couple on the show!!! Yes, when ur a smoker u are definately putting ur life more at risk of getting lung cancer or something else BUT, this man on the show DID NOT DO ANYTHING TO CAUSE HIS ILLNESS, he wasnt drinking or anything..... it just happened! And for his wife to have such resentment and hostility torwards him because of something he had NO CONTROL OVER, is just utterly disgusting & disgraceful!!! She really needed to be slapped or something! And when she said something like, "our house isnt extravagant or anything, but what are we supposed to do, move into a trailer?" I was saying to myself, YES!........She claims to "love & care" about her husband, but she's not willing to give up a decent size house so he can keep living??? ARE U SERIOUS??? Thats soooo selfish! Of course people want to live in decent sized houses, who wouldnt? But the fact of the matter is, if u/she cant afford it anymore then what the hell are u gonna do? Usually when people cant afford things, they have to eventually give it up....even though its really hard to do! When it comes down to it, u have to decide whats more important to u, some house or ur spouse who had no control over what happend.......and this woman is clearing choosing her house, how horribly selfish can one be? And by the way, living in a trailer is NOT as bad as it seems....as long as u have a place to live & are with the one(s) u SAY u love & care about, why should it matter? Believe me I know, my family & I used to live in a beautiful, well sized home until we had something happen (family issues) and my grandmother & I had to find a new place to live, except that we didnt have a lot of money (my stepdad had the money) so we had to resort to living in a trailer park where we could afford to live! We live in a very nice, decent, quiet, respectable trailer park.......its all about finding the right one! So, that woman needs to realize that its NOT HER HUSBAND'S FAULT that he got sick, re-think her priorities and get over herself!! Ur husband IS putting his life more at risk by smoking, but the man on the show didnt do ANYTHING to cause this......ur situations are NOT THE SAME! |
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October 25, 2005, 1:24 pm PDT
I seen today's show and it just tore me up, I was crying and everything! Let me say that I completely feel for this family, their friends and anyone else who was been effected by this horrible tragedy & they all have my deepest sympathy!!! I also want to say that I think this family & Caitlin's friends have the most AMAZING courage to have appeared on the show only 2 weeks after this happened to them! They are some of the bravest people I've seen & heard of! Again, I'm soooo sorry for what has happened and you have my deepest sympthy! |
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October 27, 2005, 10:30 am PDT
Quote From: flitrflies JUMPIN Yesterday before the show there were only 5 pages.....23 ........GOOD TOPIC
Quick note... Personal realization, I was so curious about sex growing up. My first boyfriend was in grade 5, so I was 10ish, and having a daughter who's 11, I think is much too young to have boyfriend, ummm, and the fact that my mom never talked about sex or even puberty, that's probably the reason I lost my virginity so young, 16 yrs. I remember being 12 and wanting to have intercourse, because my mother was 15 when she had me, and drilled it into my head, if I messed with a boy I would get pregnant, I waited until ... the favorable age of 16!
With all the 'sex' talk they see on TV and in Magazines, not to mention what goes on between peers, KIDS TODAY NEED TO BE EDUCATED ... that's a fact. I never ever went to my mom, I wouldn't even fathom going to my dad about these issues, to talk about boys and feelings, sex, puberty, are situations that are going to HAPPEN. Now that my daughter is just starting to have these 'crush' feelings, damn straight I encourage her, I ask her, to come talk to me. I feel at ease when we discuss her feelings and the emotions she's going to go through.
We have all been in those awkward situations, why not prepare them, educate our children, for what is bound to happen to them.... makes sense! I know I don't want to be a grandma at 34! More importantly I want my daughter to respect herself.
PS please ... say the word PENIS and VAGINA they aren't ugly words, they are bound to come together at some point ! I agree with you 100%, very well said! I'm 19 years old and I have 3 siblings...... a sister (16), a brother (13) and another brother (9). My mother too, started having sex at a young age...she had me at 16! You would think that she would've talked to me & my sister a long time ago about puberty & sex so we wouldnt start early like she did, but she never did & I never even thought about asking her any questions! She never talked to me about going through puberty and getting my period......when I did get it, I was 12 and I wasnt even at home, I was at one of my cousin's houses and luckily her mother talked and explained things to me! When she told my mom, she (my mom) came over to me and talked to me for about 10 and that was it! Like a lot of parents, I think she was a little uncomfortable talking about it......same thing with sex! Every once and a great while, like if somone in our family was pregnant, my mom would just say "I dont wanna be a grandmother till I'm like 50, so dont be having sex" and that was it! She never sat down with me and/or my sister and had that actual "talk" about sex! And like MOST kids, I was hearing A LOT about sex from my friends and other peers and it just became one of those normal, everyday topics that we talked about! And there was some REALLY graphic language that was being used, so parents who dont want their teens & preteens as young as 11 or 12 to hear that kind of language or to talk & learn about sex are being really naive cause BIG chances are, are that they are already hearing, learning and talking about it! So if parents what their children to learn the REAL ACTUAL facts about puberty & sex, then they need to find a way to get over the uncomfortable feelings and TALK TO THEIR KIDS.....cause their going to learn & hear about it either way! Unfortunately, it was too little, too late for my mom! As my sister got older and her body developed, she always had guys looking at her and she starting wearing tight clothes and wearing make-up that made her look older than me & I'm the older one! My mom really tried to keep tabs on her, but she would hide the clothes and sneak them around! As time went on, my mom started trusting my sister a little too much! My mom was completely blind to everything, family members were telling her to keep closer tabs on my sister, that she shouldnt be wearing the clothes she was wearing, that she shouldnt be home alone, that she was probably already having sex, etc... and all my mom could say was that she trusted her to be honest with her& that my sister told her she was still a virgin so she didnt do much about it! Long story short, my sister became pregnant at 15 and had the baby at 16, 4 months ago! So now my mother IS a grandmother at 35!!! And know only after the fact that she knows my sister is sexually active, is she comfortable to talk to us about sex! Its sad that it took my little sister getting pregnant for our mother to be comfortable enough to talk to us about it!!! SO PARENTS, PLEASE, PLEASE TALK TO YOUR KIDS & EDUCATE THEM ABOUT SEX, CAUSE THEY WILL LEARN ABOUT IT ONE WAY OR ANOTHER!!! AND IF YOU WANT THEM TO KNOW THE REAL FACTS, THEN YOU SHOULD EDUCATE THEM YOURSELF........DONT BE NAIVE ABOUT SOMETHING SO SERIOUS! |
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October 29, 2005, 1:21 pm PDT
Quote From: queentween HAve any of you seen a show on MTV called "My Sweet Sixteen"? ITs about families who give their kids these outrageous birthday parties for turning 16- I don't mean a pool party with 30 guests, I mean a full blown event with gowns, dinners, shows costing in the 100's of thousands! And the kids are incredibly obnoxious- maybe they are playing it up for tv, but its horrid. They yell at their parents, they whine, throw tantrums- and then they get a new hummer or someother kind of luxury car.And the sad thing is, a lot of kids are watching this show and saying"Why can't I have a 250,000 birthday party???" My Mother says, you can't spoil a good thing when it comes to spending time with your kids, but I swear you can spoil a "good thing" by letting them get away with bad behavior and giving in to their every whim. Our house does have lots of toys, and lots of chidrens movies, but it does have rules and we do have limits. God help the next generation if what we see on tv is what they are expecting in life- where are the shows about the kids who are working 2 jobs, babysitting, going on interviews and getting into college to study biology? Yea, I've seen that show on MTV and it IS ridiculous!!! Those kids are total snobs who think they're better than everyone else just because their parents are rich! And your right, they treat their parents like crap, yelling at them, cussing them out, telling them they that they "better not cancel the party"! I seen this one episode where this girl's parents were having trouble paying the last payment of a few THOUSAND dollars to the place where the party was being held and the girl started freaking out & telling her mom that they better find a way to pay cause her party couldnt be cancelled....... and wouldnt you believe that her parents DID end up paying the last payment like a couple hours before the party started! I couldnt believe it, if that was my daughter I would've been like look, "if you want this damn party so bad, then YOU pay for it......without out our help!" I'm sorry & no offence to anyone who is rich but I hate when rich kids act like that and I hate it even more that their parents let them get away with it! This is coming from me, a 19 year old girl who is spoiled by her grandmother! BUT I'm not spoiled like those kids on the show, my family is FAR from being rich......there are times where we really struggle to get all the neccessary bills paid on time! However, I'm spoiled in sense that I live with my grandmother rent-free, I'm not going to school right now, I dont have a job and I dont have my license but she doesnt/isnt force(ing) me to do any of those things cause she knows that I'm not ready to do them just yet and she's said that she could never get rid of me or kick me out! My grandmother & I are very close and always have been, I'm her first & oldest grandchild and she's always spoiled me & has given me ALMOST everything I've wanted THAT SHE COULD AFFORD! I NEVER have & NEVER will ask/beg her for something I know she cant afford.......I'm not that selfish! I have a little money of my own, not much but some in my bank account and my grandmother knows that if she ever needs some extra money for the bills, groceries, etc. that all she has to do is ask me for it & I will sign a slip right then & there for her to be able to get it out! I'm not afraid to admit that I'm spoiled, I just dont see any reason to hide it! I mean, I'm not a snob & I dont constantly brag or anything and I definately DONT feel entitled to be spoiled......I'm just lucky that I am, even though my grandmother & family isnt rich! I LOVE my grandmother & I'm VERY thankful AND grateful for her & the way she treats me and I tell her that all the time! Anyway, I'm with you, where are the shows about kids who are working their butts off to find success? Someone needs to put a show or two out showing that most people DO have to work and struggle to make it in the world and are not as lucky as SOME people who just have things handed to them......I'd really like to see a show like this! At any rate, I cant wait to see this show....its gonna be interesting! |
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October 30, 2005, 11:41 am PST
Quote From: alwyscryng I know Dr. Phil tries to help people with shows about anorexia, but all he does is trigger me to lose the weight I've gained. I feel so huge, and whatever Kathy has gained, if anything, is probably no where near what I weigh now. Just looking at the smallness of other anorexics make me feel like you-know-what. I'm still underweight, but on the borderline I think. I just don't see it- I just see extreme fat. My metabolism is completely messed up now, so it is extremely hard for me to lose weight, and super easy to gain. From reading you post it sounds like you have a problem with anorexia also! I hope for the sake of your life & family that you are getting help or are thinking about getting help because this is serious! It just upsets me to see and hear about people with this disorder! I myself am on the heavier side, close to 300 lbs and I'm 5'2, which is catergorized as being "obese". Do I want to lose weight? OF COURSE, but when I see and hear about people who suffer from anorexia and/or buliemia, I say to myself & other people that I would rather stay at the weight I am right now for the rest of my life, then be anorexic & deathly thin! Being anorexic does NOT help or solve anything!!! You become so obsessed with being thin, that you become TOO THIN and end up putting your life more at risk!!! There certainly is NOTHING healthy about being anorexic & there is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING good that comes from having this disorder!!! I REALLY hope you realize the damage you're doing to yourself, not only physically but also emotionally & mentally and I seriously hope you get the help you need to break out of this before its too late!!! PLEASE, PLEASE GET SOME HELP, ASAP!!! If you or anyone else wants to talk about this, feel free to email me at Lorissa140@ aol.com! |
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