Messages By: rissa140

Its been a while since I posted but when I saw the preview for this upcoming show I had to come read about it & see what was being said. I think its awesome that Clayton loves his wife the way she is, rolls & all! I think this world needs more men like him & just more people like him in general.... meaning that more men & people need to respect & appreciate us bigger women. But I do think that if Cheryl wants to lose weight for health reasons and/or just to feel better about herself, then she should & Clayton should support her & love her no matter what she decides or how much weight she loses. I hope they come to an understanding because something like this shouldn't be the 'thing' that comes between a couple.

 

Now for the issue with Phillip & his brother Paul, I give Phillip major kudos his love & admiration of bigger women. As a big woman myself, I know what it's like to be teased, made fun of & to just feel lower than dirt... So to know that there ARE men out there who admire plus sized women & who also just believe that appearance isn't everything, is great & very good to know. And to Paul (and people like him), plus sized women are NOT disgusting! What IS disgusting is the kind of attitude you have towards them & towards anyone you feel isn't attractive. Plus sized women (and men) are people too, people with lives & feelings & people who should be treated with RESPECT!  Being attracted to, admiring & loving big women (and big men) isn't something that people should be embarrassed and/or ashamed about! So your brother (Phillip) loves plus sized women, SO WHAT! THAT'S WHAT HE LIKES! Everyone has their preferences about what they like & dislike! You don't have to like what someone else's preferences are, but you should very well RESPECT them! YOU (Paul & people like you) are the ones that should be embarrassed & ashamed of yourselves!

 

~LD, a plus sized woman who is SICK of other's degrading the plus sized population!~

 

 

With all this drama, there is one thing for certain & thats that Britney does need to get some help & get her life back on track. I cant believe whats happening to her. I imagine being in the spotlight all the time isnt easy & a lot of people (as we've seen in the media) have trouble staying on the right path during it all, HOWEVER, there ARE celebrities who have the strength to do it & I wish more celebs had that strength.  I feel most badly for her kids, since they are truly the innocent ones in all this. Parenting is definately not easy. I dont have kids of my own yet, but I have a huge family so I'm around children & parents all the time... A lot of younger parents (in my family) as well. Nobody is the PERFECT parent, but there are better parents & in my honest opinion, going out & partying every single weekend & several times during the week until only God knows how long/late, is not a better parent. I'm sorry if I have offended anyone by saying that, thats not my intention, its just how I feel. As far as Kevin Federline being a better parent than Britney... I know lots of people have their doubts, especially how he left Shar Jackson, but Shar HERSELF has said that he's a good dad. So the guy cant be that bad of a parent . But like I said, nobody is the perfect parent & I just really hope Britney is able to get herself together & that these kids dont have to suffer much more.

On the subject about the dog (or any other pet for that matter) being more human than canine....

 I believe some people go WAY overboard with the "humanizing of pets", if you will. Maybe a cute 'shirt' here & there or talking to your dog (pet) kinda like a human isnt such a big thing, but when you go further than that & dress them in actual outfits, want them to be an actual part of a wedding & treat them as humans instead of the animals/pets they are, then its time to chill out. I cringe every time I see someone's dog "dressed up" like they're human & going to a party. I myself have a dog, a miniature daschound (sp?) & yes, she is a little spoiled, but NOWHERE to the extent of being treated as a human. I dont know if anyone watches or has watched the show Wife Swap, but on one episode there was a woman who was a HUGE dog lover & literally had NO HUMAN friends, just her 3 or 4 dogs. She put her dogs ahead of her husband & son, had the dogs on a little schedule (I think) & made them clean up after the dogs. She even had the dogs in the BATHTUB with her! I mean really, thats just crazy. Yes people, love your dogs/pets unconditionally, but stop "humanizing" them so much.

I may get stoned for this, but its my personal opinion....

 

I'm sorry but, If this 15 year old CONSENTED to the affair, then she is NOT a victim of RAPE! I read another post in another thread about the sexual predator that was recently caught, etc. and I have to agree with that person & say that I highly believe the laws need to change in regard to consensual sex. (For the record, this person's post was NOT talking about the sexual predator that the discussion was about!) Dont get me wrong, the affair should NOT have happened because the guy is married, but to say he is a "sexual predator" or anything of that nature is ridiculous, given that this girl consented. I dont care what anyone says, she is old enough to know better, so where is HER responsibility & punishment in all this? The laws are so twisted.... its legal for a 15 year old to work in some places & take driving classes to learn how to drive, but its not legal for them to consent to sex??? How does that make any sense? And we all know that if it was the other way around & the older person was female & the younger one was a male, then the female would get a slap on the wrist, compared to if she were male.

 

My mother got pregnant with me at 15 (had me at 16) & my biological father was like 21-22.... did my grandparents try to get him in trouble/arrested? NO, because they knew my mother was just as responsible as he was! People need to STOP treating teens as LITTLE kids & make them accountable for their actions. Its not fair for this guy (or anyone else) to be facing felony charges & possibly have to register/be branded as a "sex offender" (and the other person involved gets NO kind of punishment what so ever) when it was CONSENSUAL! I mean really, lets focus on the REAL sexual predators & rapists & put THEM behind bars or worse, and leave the CONSENTING people to clean up their own messes!

 

(oh, and I believe here in CT, the legal age of consent is 16)

Well thank you for not stoning me, I know many people would and/or will.

 

I AGREE that teens are not yet adults either & sometimes dont think about the consequences of their actions. However, its the parent's job to teach their children right from wrong & what could/will happen if they choose wrong. Now, will kids/teens ALWAYS listen to EVERYTHING their parents tell them? Of course NOT, but if they do do something they know they're not supposed to, then they DO need to deal/suffer with the consequences & not be treated like a victim or innocent person.... or how else are they gonna learn from the wrong-doings?

 

I also AGREE that the "porn addiction" is a lame excuse/cop out. However, I dont think we (generally speaking) should just assume that this man would/could go after someone even younger. I mean, I suppose we shouldnt necessarily assume either way, but for some reason, I just get the feeling he is NOT a REAL sexual predator. But I guess I will just have to wait until the show airs to kinda see how he acts & what he says/how he words things to get a better opinion.

 

As far as the thing for the non-legal or barely legals being a sign of something more sinister.... I think its about the thrill. The whole being with someone younger or older thing is very fun & exciting to some, of course it should be CONSENSUAL. But some other people still find the concept very taboo, therefore, making it seem more 'forbidden & exciting'. I actually have some personal experience with this....  however, I was older than this girl on the show (and he was not married). I was 19, about to turn 20 (I'm 21 now) & I started dating a 30 year old. In the beginning the age thing was an issue for me because my mom, uncle & aunt were (still are) in their 30s & it was kinda weird, I actually turned him down at first because of it, but I got over it because I really liked him & it wasnt like nobody else in my family hadnt dated someone with an age difference (obviously my mom included.... now in her 30s, she's also dated younger guys). By being involved with this guy, I realized that older guys tend to be more real & mature than guys my age. Which is why I now prefer older guys, I do have my limits though. This is NOT the case for ALL older guys, but definitely for a lot of them. Anyway, now I'm just rambling, but these are some more of my thoughts.

I DO believe his wife & children (if they do have any) are victims of his adultry, and he should've said no if he didnt want to destroy his family... but I stand by my opinion about the 15 year old NOT being a victim. If this guy was an ACTUAL rapist, as in he FORCED her, THEN I would NOT feel the least bit of sympathy for him. BUT, If she WILLINGLY CONSENTED (meaning, he's not just saying she did), then he is NOT a rapist & she was NOT raped! And it seems like the only reason, specifically in cases like this (when its consensual), its considered "statutory rape" is because the legal system couldnt think of anything better. If this girl did in fact willing consent, then she needs to take some responsibility as well!

First & foremost, I'm sorry that you were abused, I truly am.

 

As for him just saying she consented, IF that is the case then yes, it was rape because that would mean she didnt WILLINGLY CONSENT.... but if this girl WILLINGLY CONSENTED & REALLY DID WANT TO HAVE SEX, I do NOT feel she was raped or is a victim. I'm not trying to say I know all the facts or anything about this girl, if I'm giving that impression, I apologize... thats why I stated that I'd have to wait until the show aired to see how things unfold. As I also stated before, I know that teens are not exactly adults yet (as they are not LITTLE KIDS either), but what some people need to realize is that, they (teens) are capable of more things than most people would like to believe. Most teens these days know more about sex (and other things) then their parents. MAYBE she seduced him!? I'm not saying that she did, but I'm saying its possible. And IF that were true, then this guy could've said no. He could've said no either way, but I'm just saying.

 

As for the laws for age of consent.... I agree that there should be some sort of defined age & it should be the same age in every state. As for what that age should be... I would say 15. I know MANY MANY people DISAGREE, but here is my reason why.... Like I stated in another post, at 15, teens are already allowed to work in some places & start learning how to drive. I believe that if a 15 year old can work & learn how to drive a car, then they're NOT a "child" (because children dont work or drive cars) & they ARE able to consent to sex. Many of our government's laws are twisted & dont make sense. I know this is off topic but another fine example is that you have to be 21 to buy/drink alcohol, but you only have to be 18 to not only buy/smoke cigarettes, but to serve in the MILITARY! How does that make sense? The justice system clearly needs to catch up to biology, technology & society.

 

 

I know that kids dont always think for themselves, but even though this girl isnt exactly an adult yet, she isnt exactly a LITTLE kid either & should know better. Who's to say she didnt come on to him & seduce him? I'm not saying she did, but it could be possible. Yes, he should've said no either way. But now that its happened, if this girl willingly consented, then he shouldn't be the only one getting blamed/in trouble. Not that either of them should be in trouble with the law since (I'm assuming) it was consensual. I stated in another post that I think the age of consent should be 15 in every state.... since at that age, 15 year olds are already working in some places & learning how to drive & LITTLE kids dont work or drive. As for the instances with the teachers, I do believe they should've lost their teaching licenses because I do think its really unethical for teachers to have sex with students.... and if memory serves me right, the teen boys in those 2 teacher cases were like 13, well I know in the Mary Kay case he was 13 when they started, and in that sense it was wrong because 13 is too young to have sex in my opinion. However, With that said, that boy seemed to know exactly what he was doing, so I'm honestly kinda on the fence there. And I'm sorry, but in my honest opinion, these teens were NOT molested. Just horny, hormone driven teens that should know better as well. But I guess we'll have to agree to disagree.

Well OF COURSE the adult should know better! BUT, It took TWO WILLINGLY CONSENTING people, therefore, BOTH of them need to be held responsible! And I'm sorry to you, everyone else who disagrees & even Dr. Phil, but I DISAGREE with his explanation.

 

A 15 year old is NOT A CHILD! As its been said on this board already, teens these days ARE more capable of things & knowing exactly what they're getting into. MANY 15 year olds (and other teens) are no longer as innocent & pure as they used to be generations ago & people need to realize that.

 

And like I said in a previous post, its the parents job to teach their children right from wrong... and we all know that children & teens dont always listen to EVERYTHING their parents tell them, so if/when they do choose wrong, then they NEED to held responsible! How else are they supposed to learn from their mistakes if people want to keep treating them as little innocent victims, when (in cases like this) they clearly aren't? If someone in their teens told me that they had WILLINGLY CONSENTED to being with an older person, you better believe that I would tell them they are just as responsible for what happened... like I said, as long as it was willingly consensual. So YES, a 15 year old SHOULD very well know better!

Well, thank you for kind of agreeing with me.

 

But the whole age difference thing really depends on the people involved. Some people DO have TONS more in common with someone older or younger than themselves.