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November 9, 2007, 9:51 pm PST
11/09 Debate Dr. Phil and the Bishop
Quote From: zacksmathe Dog situation: From the little bit of the conversation I heard on the Dr. Phil show, I didn't feel like Dog was being insulting to his son's gf. What I heard him say was that he did not feel comfortable having her around because he and his family/team use the N word and that he didn't want her to hear it, get offended by it, and then sell the story to the tabloids, which he feared would ruin his career and his reputation. Little did he know that his fears would come true through the actions of his own flesh and blood. Should he use that word? No. But the guy is not exactly politically correct so I'm not surprised to hear that from him. However, I don't get the feeling that he meant to hurt her or any other black person. He made a really bad judgement call, and he is paying the price. However, I don't feel that he should be fired over this because for one, this was a private conversation that should never have been made public and for two, I truly do not believe that he meant any disrespect. I think he was trying to explain his point of view to his son, but did a poor job of it. He's rough around the edges and everybody knows that, so that people would be shocked to hear him say this particular word is, to me, very confusing. The one thing that bothers me is that I have personally never heard a black person complain that another black person called them or someone else the N word. Everytime I hear a black person complain about someone using the N word is when that person is white. I don't understand that. If someone calls me a b**** or the C word or anything else insulting, it doesn't matter what the color of their skin is, what gender they are, what religious beliefs they have or whether they are a public personality or not. It will be insulting to me no matter what. So I don't understand why it's ok for a black person to call another black person the N word, but that if a white person does it, then they are labeled a racist. It should be insulting regardless of who made the comment. Teenagers and sex: This is very interesting to me. I am from Canada. Here, teenagers get sex ed in school. They learn about STDs, contraception, the consequences of unprotected sex, etc. They are not encouraged to have sex before marriage, but they are not condemned for it either. They are given all the information and education that they need in order to make a more responsible decision. I am married and my husband is not the first man that I had sex with. I never felt bad about having sex because I was being responsible about it. And my friends or other people that I got to know in the course of my life have been responsible about it. I can tell you that my mom could have told me day after day that sex was bad or that I had chances of getting sick or pregnant, it still wouldn't have changed my mind about having sex. And the fact that I had the education and information that I needed helped me make better decisions. We cannot expect teenagers with raging hormones and a brain that isn't finished growing yet to believe us and trust us when we tell them that unprotected sex is dangerous. We have to educate them about it. We have to allow them to talk to people who have been infected with HIV or any other STD so that they can hear it from someone who's been there and knows all about it. That person will have more influence on our kids than we could ever have in their eyes. They need to know what it's like to raise a child when they are 13-14-15, but we as parents cannot give them that information. However, a young girl who has been through this can easily touch them with her story. I don't understand why in America you do not encourage sex ed. Sex ed doesn't lead to promiscuity. It leads to knowledge and understanding and a better ability to make informed decisions. To that lady who put her 14 year old on the pill, way to go mom! You did the right thing. She wasn't going to stop having sex just because you wanted her to. And to not provide her with protection against pregnancy would have been reckless and irresponsible on your part. You have nothing to be ashamed of and you shouldn't second guess yourself. I have 2 boys and I hope that we will have a good enough relationship to discuss these things when they get to that age. But if we don't, I will be so glad that the school will step in and make sure that my sons are educated about sex so that they don't become fathers at the age of 15 or that they don't die of AIDS by the age of 21. But one thing is for sure. Either way, my boys will know all about protecting themselves and their gfs, and I'll even go so far as saying that I would rather they have sex in my house where they would be safe and comfortable and would have access to protection than for them to do it in the backseat of a car or a dirty bathroom stall in between classes when they wouldn't take the time to protect themselves. I will not encourage them to have sex with the first girl they meet, but I will not chastise them either if they do. I just had to say that I completely agree with the second half of your post, regarding teens & sex. I'm a firm believer that Sex Ed and/or Health classes should be mandatory in school, starting in grades 5 or 6, or possibly even grade 4 ... since thats normally when the subject of puberty comes up. I remember seeing my first educational video about puberty/changes & periods in 4th grade & again in 6th. I also do not think that a parent should have to give permission for their child(ren) to have/take sex ed or health classes. I agree when Dr. Phil said that it starts at home, it should definitely start at home. Unfortunately, a lot of parents are too scared & embarrassed to have "the talk" with their children & if their child comes to them with questions/concerns, they sort of brush them off and/or tell them that they're too young to know about it & thats it, the child doesn't get the answers they were looking for. Therefore they (the children) tend to go & get the information from their friends, tv/movies, etc. and some, if not most, of that information may not be accurate. So that's why I think its important to have the education in schools, because then at least that information is more accurate/credible than what they possibly heard from friends & tv/movies.
The fact of the matter is, teens are more aware of things today & If they (and even pre-teens these days) REALLY want to have sex, they're going to do it regardless. There isn't an actual way to stop them, unless you physically hold them prisoner & I think this is something that a lot of people are in deniable about. Yes, parents need to have more control over their kids, however, they cant be around watching them every single second & some teens are the best manipulators around, don't let their age fool you... the majority of teens may be a bit naive, but they're not completely stupid either. I dont have kids of my own yet, but I do know that I would much rather my kids have the proper knowledge & hope that they apply that knowledge when necessary... and IF/WHEN they dont apply it, I'll make sure they're held accountable & not treat them like babies/toddlers.
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