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October 7, 2005, 3:33 pm PDT
The Other Woman
Quote From: mrs_affairHi. I've been the "other woman" for 1 1/2 years. We don't see each other very often, maybe once every month or so. He feels real guilty because we are both married with kids, but he keeps coming around. I never have felt guilty, I know that sounds bad, but I can't help how I feel. To me, this is something I do just for me, no one knows about it. We are very discreet. And neither of us would ever admit to it. I know there are lots of women in this situation. Most of us get slammed for it. And I can see why. But it still dosen't change anything. My feeling for this other man are very strong, and yet I'm happily married and wouldn't want to change that. I guess I want my cake and eat it too! Are there other women out there that get me? Well, I get what you are saying. But I'm afraid that your story might not end up having a happy ending. I was sort of in a situation like that not too long ago. I was the other woman and he was married. I am also married and my husband is actually related to my affair partner. The affair started between me and this man in March and ended in a very disasterous way in June. It's very easy to get caught up in the "good" feelings. I felt like I had everything I had ever wanted with this guy. My husband and I had BIG problems way before the affair and once the affair begun... I wasn't even considering breaking it off (the affair) because it was an outlet for my frustration and stress. And eventually I fell totally head over heels for this other person and he kept trying to persuade me to actally be with him. At that point I realized I was absolutely totally out of control. My life was spiraling and I had no idea what I should do. My situation at home with my husband was escalating and I ended up telling him that we needed to separate for a short time. He moved to his dad's and in the meantime I told the other guy we needed distance as well so I could figure out what in the world I was going to do. While this was all taking place... our secret leaked out. His wife had become more and more suspicious over the few months even though my husband was absolutely clueless and totally unsuspecting. She found out and brought it all to light and pretty soon the whole family knew. To say the least, our "relationship" was ended promptly and left many unsettling and unresolved feelings between the two of us. So back to your situation: You may feel that it's harmless or try to tell yourself that it is... but be careful because you will get burned. And your heart will end up broken into pieces and you will hurt others as a result of your secret fun. I get what you are saying though I really do. I was there not too long ago. I miss the other guy everyday. I think about him every single day even though my husband and I got back together. I believe that I did love and still do love the other man, but wrong place wrong time wrong people under our circumstances we were in. We absolutely were being totally careless and irresponsible in the worst possible way. Not only did we hurt everyone else but we set ourselves up for the most awful heart wrenching disappointment we could've imagined.
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