Quote From: ritehere First of all, "how are you" is a throwaway greeting. It's almost a given that others will answer "fine" unless they have not learned that to begin a conversation with their complaints is a sure-fire way to cause the conversation to end quickly. The person who asks "how are you?" is, in fact, surprised if any other answer is given besides, "fine" or "doing well" or any other positive throwaway remark.
If you don't want to be surprised by an answer you'd rather not hear, or have no time to really give your attention to, don't ask "how are you?" Say something like "Hi! You look well." This will start the conversation on a lighter note.
As far as learning to be psychologically healthy most of the time, I suggest taking an inventory of all of the good things in your life. Once you start listing everything you have to be grateful for, you realize how different your life COULD be. Once you adopt an attitude of gratefullness you will beging to see and focus on the good things and the love that surrounds us all, instead of all the things that are wrong. A primary focus on the good really does affect your perception and attitude. You don't have to look far to find someone who's life is more of a challenge than yours.
greetings to you, many people ask; "How Are You" when truly not wanting to hear, fine, or I am well, it is a statement of Oh I am Fine!!! If your answer is something else, some find it difficult to listen, yet, most people in general are really not fine, there are so many things going on in their lives that to begin to allow those feelings out and actually acknowledge them would sometime start a flood gate to open! I have felt; due to an assault on me that fractured my spine, the pain of invisible disabilities more! But I thank God I am walking and breathing! As they say; "It could have been worse"! That is very true, I deal with pain daily, but in attempts to remain positive, I struggle with the question always, Hi, how are you?? my answer is normally;" I am walking and I Thank God for this glorious day!" some ask what happened, I then state you probably do not want to really know, some do, so I discuss with them, some understand better, I am young (a bit over the hill) , but as my body would be, I feel at times that my body is 120 years, for the pain and nerve pain from spine fracture, and many surgeries, yet each day, I fight the battle to get up, enjoy my family, grand kids, and friends! What a wonderful day this morning! The Sun Is Shining! rains expected, but, after the rain, if the sun should shine, I most always have rainbows on the other side of my home, and those remind me of how God works in our lives, sometime, I get the bricks, after not listening for years! as I have trouble hearing Him, or not choosing to listen because I had been too busy, have been so overburdened in life that My relationship with God, my Church has been set aside! I pray that I would not allow myself to be too busy, thinking it was always my job to offer loving care to other's needs! It is my job in assisting others, as that is a gift from God, but not to destruction of my body! God is First, then the rest, He will continue to be in control, and through His Son, I am Forgiven for all my daily sins, which include my care-giving personality that I was blessed with! Even though, at this time, my care giving is for me! I do care deeply for many, and they care for me, no one knows the pain I have, but God! He, I believe will heal me; If that is His Will, I know my will would want to be pain free, but perhaps there are many things yet for me to feel and before I am pain free, perhaps I must be kind to myself and this is the only way God has chosen for me to stop and care for me! I pray daily, He is my quiet place, my quiet energy, He sends me thoughts that I am able to hear again, which are always, loving, nurturing thoughts for me! I believe I will be cared for as the :" Sparrow's ...!" Being disabled happens to many, I have lived with family who 47 years ago, a disease that nearly took a family member, my parents did not follow the doc' request for institutionalization, family has taught reading, math, etc, walking and all things possible, many disabilities that people deal with daily, that shape who we are!! Love God, Love yourself, and love your family, not loving yourself by abusing you! Inside yourself, you must love yourself, as God, Our Savior, and Holy Spirit, are all assisting you once you allow Him in!! 3 in one, Holiest of all!! Prayers for you to accept the assistance offered, if you can allow yourself to receive Him in your Heart and mind!
