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Messages By: cashee

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October 7, 2005, 1:49 pm PDT

give me a break

      I was quite amused that the woman who was so against seeing beasts of breastfeeding mom's in public (Shelly) had a lot of cleavage showing in the video introducing this topic.  

  

       I don't see anything wrong with breastfeeding in public. The nipple is covered by the baby's mouth, and the view is blocked for the most part by the baby's head. ... I certainly would not like to eat sitting in a restroom or under a blanket and I wouldn't expect that of a baby. If someone is uncomfortable with it then they have the option to look away (as I had the urge to do when viewing Ms. Shelly's cleavage in the intro video).  

  

      ~ Cathy Nichols~ 

 
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October 7, 2005, 1:57 pm PDT

half of the problems you have can easily be solved

Quote From: preraph

Get REAL.  The women I know who breast-feed in public are lazy, pure and simple.  They're the same mothers who don't train their kids to behave in public and park the stroller in the middle of the aisle while shopping.  The most civilized and evolved countries are the ones who realize breasfeeding in public is primitive and devolved.  Personally, I don't like babies around me while I'm eating, PERIOD.  I don't like watching them drool, I don't like hearing them whimper and cry and scream, and I certainly don't like for someone in my field of vision to accomplish all of these things by plopping out their boob and letting a baby slobber all over it for anyone to see.  There was a time when babies simply were not taken to nice restaurants, and I am all for returning to those times.   

You know, half of the problems you have with babies being around you as you eat can be easily solved.  

 ... It's pretty difficult for a baby to "whimper and cry and scream" when they have a mouthful of breast.  

  

     

 
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April 12, 2007, 2:52 pm PDT

HG - My experience

Hello,

 

  I too am a survivor of HG. I've had two pregnancies with HG. I decided to terminate my first pregnancy due to lack of support and out of fear that I was slowly dying (even though everyone around told me it was normal to be sick during pregnancy).

 

  During my second pregnancy, my HG was even worse. I lost a significant amount of weight and vomited up to 18 times a day. Unfortunately, my husband (who was serving active duty in the Army at the time) was deployed for a month. I had no support. In a weakend condition (not even being able to hold down water), I managed to drive myself to the hospital where I was given IV fluids. My doctors tried several medications and I finally felt releif with Zofran.

 

I had to fight throughout my pregnacy to keep myself  and my son alive. Unfortunately, with the military, you rarely see the same Dr. at each visit. Many Dr.'s were reluctant to prescribe medication to me. Usually they would give me a prescription for 7 days... but the pharmacy demanded that prescriptions be submitted 2 weeks before pick-up ... since this medication is a "special order". I was at the hospital every day of the week at one point, just trying to get prescriptions and to try to get them filled. This became more than a part-time job as I was usually there for the whole day.

 

At one point, my medical file was handed to a Colonel. She talked to me like this illness was all in my head and had the nerve to ask me how I planned to deal with my "ballance issue" once my baby arrives and am no longer pregnant. I informed her that since my illness was caused by my pregnancy, I would no longer have this problem once I gave birth. At this point, she no longer spoke to me, but instead tried to reason with my husband that I should not be given medication while pregnant. She told me that my file would be reviewed and that I would likely be denied prescriptions for Zofran.

 

I attempted to make an appointment with another Dr. who I had seen prior; a Dr. who understood HG. I was told that I could not get an app. with him and that he would not be able to prescribe Zofran to me since the Colonel outranked him and the Colonel would have the final say.

 

As a last resort, I picked up an application from the patient representative at the hospital. I marched up to the OB clinic and informed the reception nurse that I was fed up with the treatmeant I had received and that if I did not have my medication by the next day, that I was going to file a formal complaint. I was angry. I was fed up. I waved the complaint form in the air as I said this so that she knew I was serious.  I was so fed up that it felt like this was my last stand. ... The next day I was prescribed a bottle of 3 months worth of Zofran (with another 3 month refill) ...from a Dr. who told me that I did not need it. At this point, I was 7 months pregnant so I didn't even need 6 months worth of meds.

 

I was very fortunate in that my HG was able to be managed through Zofran. I only vomitted about twice a day while I was on Zofran ... although I still felt sick all of the time. I was ill right up to the delivery of my son but while on Zofran I was able to function enough to shower, keep down water, and keep down some food.  I even managed to gain 14 lbs throughout my pregnancy.

 

We now have an amazing 17 month old son.

 
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April 12, 2007, 3:06 pm PDT

HG- Taking back control

I feel very sorry for Allison.

 

One of the sad things about HG is that you feel like your control is taken away from you. You can't control whether or not you keep food or water down, you can't even keep up a normal relationships with your husband, your family, or your friends. The point at which you need support the most is when you feel like everyone has forgotten about you.

 

It is also very difficult to get Dr.'s to help you, since many Dr.'s are uneducated, or even worse, missinformed about HG. The quality of your health and your life (as well as your baby's)  is in the hands of Dr.'s.

 

Once you give birth, and are able to recover, you feel like you gain control over your life again.

 

I feel so sad for Allsion because she didn't get to experience this. She was so drained that she did not get to recover.

 

What is even sadder is that now she has lost control over custody of her babies and she is locked up in a prison!

 

 

 
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April 12, 2007, 3:25 pm PDT

HG and a need to hold on to your babies

 

 

As a survivor of HG, I understand what it took for Allison to bring those two babies into this world.

 

I can only imagine what desperation Allison must have felt to sign a paper that agreed to hand her babies over to someone else.

 

When you are malnourished to the point that Allison was, your thought process is much slower. I understand this because I suffered from HG too. At one point, I was so malnourished and dehydrated that I had to go to the hospital to get IV fluids. With every step I took to get from the car to get into the hospital, my calf muscles hurt because they were slowly diminishing from lack of nutrients. I spent the morning at the hopital but still needed to manage to get normal tasks done in the afternoon (since my husband had been deployed by the Army for a month and I had to take care of everything myself). I went to pay rent by check but I just could not remember the date. I asked someone for the date. They told me the day and month. I wrote that on the check but sat there for the longest time trying to figure out the year. It was so embarassing to have to ask that lady what year it was too. I would have to say that was my lowest point.  ... Thank goodness I responded well to Zofran and was able to regain a half-normal life not long after that.

 

I also completely understand why Allison called 911.

 

I think that the drive to keep your babies close to you is intense for any new parent. For a mother who has survived HG, this drive goes into overdrive. You put so much of yourself into giving a baby life that this instinct to keep the mother baby bond intact is intesified. This bond was threatened in the lawyers office. This bond that she probably held even higher than her own life.

 

I hope that this story has a happy ending for Allison and her twins.

 

 

 
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April 12, 2007, 6:43 pm PDT

04/12 Twin Tug of War

Quote From: desertgal328

I saw the show & completely understand the adoptive parents reluctance to appear.  I would have been more sympathetic to Allison, but she made the comment that the aparents aren't parents, this is so wrong.  The parent is the person who comforts a child when they're hurt or sick.  I am an adoptee & my aparents were always my parents.  I'm also an adoptive parent and my son knows that he has 2 mothers & 2 fathers, but we are the ones that take care of him.

Why didn't she ask for help?? Surely there is someone in her family who could have helped her, if not, I'm sure the state could have helped. Sorry, she signed the papers, the babies have bonded with the aparents & they are old enough to know if they are taken away from them.  By the time this is all straightened out these poor babies will be 2½ or 3years old & hopefully a judge will show some compassion for them& leave them with the parents they know.

I also wonder why the ex-boyfriend dropped out of the picture.  Did he ever intend to help her care for the child/children??

It sounds to me that Allison has bonded with her babies. Her babies know her and have been with her; they have bonded to her also. She is their mother.

 

Clearly, you have no understanding of what it is like to have HG even after watching this show. You are not able to do anything with HG. If it is severe enough, it is hard to even hold a conversation with anyone. ... By the end of pregnancy there aren't a lot of people around you left to help. People just don't know how to help you because they do not understand.

 
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April 12, 2007, 8:03 pm PDT

04/12 Twin Tug of War

Quote From: nomorehg

I had countless volunteers from my local church rushing to our aid, people that didn't know me and whom I didn't know. My family felt helpless and had countless excuses as to why they couldn't help us until they realized it wasn't going to go away. And even after 16 weeks of around the clock volunteers helping us, we ran out of people willing to help and started getting comments that were very hurtful. I had countless times when I would lay helpless, very weak and unable to care for our toddler, praying that God would bring someone to our aid to help us through that night. God was amazing and He never left our side and always brought someone to our aid. Without my faith and my church, we would not have made it through our final pregnancy. Even my physician got frustrated at times with me and advised that I move back to my home state and find people there to help take care of me since my husband didn't understand and couldn't help. It was a nightmare... but God brought us through it. Now we are finally finishing our healing process. That's right, part of a HG survivor's post-partem includes healing the body and the marriage in more ways than anyone can possible realize. Dr. Phil needs to address the full realm of this disease. It doesn't entirely end with birth.

I can relate to you! If it weren't for my husband, I think I would have withered away as my belly bloated.

 

I am from Canada and all of my friends and family live there. I moved to the States to be with my husband. He was in the military so we didn't live where his family is either. We relied on the FRG (military family readiness group) for emergencies, but help does tend to run out (especially when people don't understand).

 

Unfortunately, at my worst, my husband was deployed for a month and I had no one to help me. I was unable to even shower or brush my hair for a whole week. I could only crawl to the bathroom to vomit and lay beside the toilet and then get back into bed. I somehow made it to the hospital on several occaisions for emergency help. Eventually I was put on Zofran and it saved my life.

 

People just don't understand unless they have gone through it.

 
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April 12, 2007, 8:22 pm PDT

I was a Zombie

Quote From: ewchaplin

My wife suffered from HG.  To say that it has not change her and our relationship would be on out-right lie.  We have often joked if she was to be pregnant again she would need to be placed in a mental institution.  She suffered through it twice.  At the beginning of her first pregnancy I though she was being overly dramatic.  Then she was rushed to the hospital in an ambulance because a neighbor found her on our bathroom floor. The realization settle in when they had to place a pic-line in her arm and I had to give anti-coagulation shots twice a day.  We could not have any odor of food in the house and had to use my microwave outside during a Massachusetts winter.  We went through it  a second time with an 16 month old. Her own son could not sit on her lap because the odor of him made her feel sick.  My wife lost to years of her life to this disease.  She was a walking zombie.  Now it is because it has become a defense in a well publicized court case.  I believe the twin's belong with their biological mother.  I have witnessed the effects of HG twice in my own home.  The depression, the anger, and the almost catatonic state.  A women afflicted with this disease is not 100% rational and it take well over a year to feel 'normal' from it.  Just watching the show today has upset and saddened my wife to the point she can't eat and she is in a state of uneasiness.

 

 

  My husband affectionately referred to me as a zombie. (He is a big zombie fanatic). I would groan and I just looked like death. We refer to my pregnancy as when I was a zombie. It sounds terrible but somehow it makes me laugh. I don't know why. I think I laugh because I am so happy that I am no longer a zombie.

 

Sorry to any zombies out there who are offended by this post.

 
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April 12, 2007, 10:09 pm PDT

04/12 Twin Tug of War

Quote From: coxcathryne

 

  Has anyone ever thought that the chemicals in food are messing up everyone's digestive system????

 

   I have made over 80% of my family's meals from scratch and we all still suffer from digestive problems. I raised chickens for eggs & meat, turkeys, & many vegetables (as possible).

 

   I beleive that ADHD, some autisms (maybe all) and many other problems come from allergies, esp. to chemicals in foods.

 

   When I was pregnant (five times), I had some nausea, but never noticed the hyperemesis prevailent in the past 10-20 years. The numbers are increasing. We are a fast society that has, freeze dried food-just add water. We can get an entire meal in boxes, dried & "preserved".

 

   I wonder how much of this is related to some of the "new" syndroms we're seeing occur.

 

   I would like to scream at the top of my lungs. I had an acqaintance say "I thought because it was in the stores, it was safe" (meaning all food), Are there any studies about this or are there too many lobbyists from the chemical & food companies running the show?

 

   I can not imagine going through what these women have gone through. My vote is for the Mom's.

 

                                  Cathryne Cox

 

OMG! I know you weren't trying to be rude... but I feel like I just got crackered!

 

This is the problem with HG... it is not just simply feeling queasy.

 

It has nothing to do with what you are consuming! Imagine that you are only consuming water... filtered water if you like... you would still get this and not be able to hold that water down. ... I could not even keep down my own saliva! To imply that my illness was because of an unhealthy diet is infuraiting and just makes me feel even more like people do not understand this illness. 

 

It really has nothing to do with what you consume... although certain foods, smells, and even mention of those offending foods can be enough to make HG'ers vomit.

 

HG is not new... it's just that awareness is slowly starting to build.

 

Thank you Dr. Phil for helping to educate people about HG!

 
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April 13, 2007, 6:35 am PDT

I agree with you

Quote From: nomorehg

Dr. Phil,

 

Thank you so much for addressing HG and for assisting Allison with addressing her medical condition so that the nation can begin to understand her story and not miss the 'duress' portion.

 

Please consider taping and airing an entire show or a series of shows addressing all of HG. There is so much more to this disease and clearly many whom have not suffered from it still do not get the full picture (based on your message board) and those of us who have dealt with it could really use your help. Here are some suggested topics to think about covering withing HG:

 

1. Telling the story of the countless women who had HG 10-50 years ago who never had help because OBs didn't know what to do. (There are still women today that deal with this even though it's more widely discussed among OB professionals.)

2. Addressing how family members don't know who to cope with it. This disease hits really hard when family members (parents, spouses, etc.) tell the woman "it's all in their head" or "to just get up and do something, don't just lie there," etc.  Additionally, these family members can get very frustrated, thus verbal abuse and potentially physical abuse (through denial of help) can easily take place.

3. Addressing the children and their needs while they wait for mommy to give birth.

4. Addressing the pain endured by the marriage while everyone waits for HG to end. This is the big ticket!! Marriages suffer, hurt and they simply are on hold while the wife is very ill and nearly non-existant in the marriage relationship and the husband is left to tend to his wife's every need, hold his job to financially support the family, accept that there will be no physical contact and intimacy until the wife heals from the pregnancy, and in many cases can't even be in the same room as his wife because his smell will make her vomit. This is so distructive and yet we HG survivors have endured it, are dealing with it and no one knows how to help. Then, once the pregnancy is over, if the marriage is still in existance, both have to some how adjust to life with a new baby (if all goes well with the pregnancy) while spending a significant amount of time trying to heal the marriage and repair all of the damage from the pregnancy. My husband and I actually devoted an entire year to this healing process. This means I planned not to work and instead spend time at home to help our older child heal from missing me so much through pregnancy and help our marriage heal. Intimacy is the hardest obstical to over come for a HG mom.

5. Finally, helping the HG mother heal emotionally. We moms feel robbed of so many joys as our pregnancies are nightmares. We are damaged and have a hard time looking at food for several weeks post-partem and live with fear that we might get sick again. We never want to be pregnant again, and thus deal with the loss of knowing we can't have more kids unless we are blessed through adoption. It's a rough rollercoaster. We are also so scared of intimacy for several reasons and we often times can't stand the our home. I actually repainted our house and got all new furniture during my healing process because I couldn't stand being in the bedroom that I spent countless hours getting sick in.

 

This disease is so hard to over come. So much more needs to be addressed. And yes, so many health care professionals don't get it! I had great treatment during my last pregnancies, but when I went to tell them about the show... it fell on death ears and I left the conversation feeling as though they look at me as a wack-o. Very sad. It's not just morning sickness or a bad case of the ickies (as I commonly heard)... it's so much more.

 

Thanks again Dr. Phil.

I totally agree with everything you have written.

 

The worst part is that after everyone has fallen to the side while you have this disease, your husband is often the only person left to help you. ... It is hard to have a normal and healthy relationship with your husband when it gets eroded so badly. HG is a huge stressor for husbands who have to fight along with you to get help... sometimes they are your only advocate (if you are even that lucky).

 

...It is difficult to have a normal relationship with someone if they can not come near you because their smell makes you vomit. ... My husband had to wash with an unscented soap, use a certain shampoo, stop wearing cologne, and had to brush his teeth before coming near me and sometimes that wasn't even enough.

 

To save our marriage we entered marriage counselling for the duration of the pregnancy. I highly recomend any couple going through HG to do the same.

 

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