Messages By: preraph

Get REAL.  The women I know who breast-feed in public are lazy, pure and simple.  They're the same mothers who don't train their kids to behave in public and park the stroller in the middle of the aisle while shopping.  The most civilized and evolved countries are the ones who realize breasfeeding in public is primitive and devolved.  Personally, I don't like babies around me while I'm eating, PERIOD.  I don't like watching them drool, I don't like hearing them whimper and cry and scream, and I certainly don't like for someone in my field of vision to accomplish all of these things by plopping out their boob and letting a baby slobber all over it for anyone to see.  There was a time when babies simply were not taken to nice restaurants, and I am all for returning to those times.   

I'm going to point out the obvious first.  I'm guessing you knew he was a collector when you married him.  So you knew what you were getting into.  I imagine it's a big part of who he is.  So it's unlikely to go away.  Just from what you've said, to me, it doesn't really sound like he's an obsessive collector, exactly.  It just sounds like kind of a normal collecting hobby.  I do understand how much money it takes because I am good friends with a true compulsive collector, who has to have everything that comes out, had to have every album made, every beta, every VHS, etc.  So I know it can be a problem, especially spacewise.  But if you knew this going in and it's who he is and it's not just a chemical imbalance or something, you're going to have to put up with it to some extent.   

The upside is that he is sitting on a gold mine.  I know Kiss memorabilia is very pricey, and certainly Star Wars.  You might plant this seed in his mind and see how it germinates:  Once the generation that loved a certain thing, such as Star Wars, pass a certain age, these type of items begin to lose value rather than gain value like true antiques.  The children of a Star Wars fanatic are unlikely to give a CRAP about having this stuff handed down to them and when they go to sell it, the generation of fans will be gone.  The time to sell is now on that stuff.  Same way with Kiss memorabilia.  Maybe he could be persuaded to sell some of his pieces now.  You might even pull out the ace in your pocket and tell him if he sold some of this stuff before it's past its prime, then that would make room for a new, more current collection.  If he would just sell some along, this hobby would pay for itself and then some.   

I'd LOVE to! 

My mom wasn't overprotective during my young or teen years but became overprotective when I was in my thirties and forties.  So I know it's not about protection, and it's not about me.  It's about them wanting/needing attention.   

My mom lived over 5 hours away from me.  When my sister and I would drive up there for a visit, no matter whether we arrived on time or not, by the time we got there, our mother would have worked herself up into hysteria worrying.  We came to anticipate this, and one of the last holidays we spent together, I added a couple of hours onto the estimated travel time hoping that since she wouldn't be expecting us yet, she wouldn't worry.  I expected to arrive about 5 but told her it would be 7 at least.  But when we got there two hours early, she was in the same hysterical dither as before.  I mean, it was reminiscent of the old movies where you saw silent actresses swooning and fanning themselves.   

Then after we got there, we'd usually want to go to the grocery store, and she would have a fit because she didn't want us out overnight.  Now, the other 363 days of the year, we sisters both worked and lived in a large metropolitan city without any supervision, so you can see how irrational this was.  And this little burg she was in was a small town, not at all dangerous by anyone's standards.   

So -- don't expect them to mellow out as they get older.  Whatever quirks they had young only get more pronounced -- and like in this case, some of her fears, control issues or need for attention (probably a combination) surfaced in her old age.