Messages By: jeannieskn

Quote From: miss1011

   My daughter"5" and the nieghbor boy  "4" have been caught 3 times playing pull down pants.We me&and the nieghbor child's mom have sat them down together,seperating them,and now again with seperation.We have disscussed what is proper behavior with our privite parts,and still they continue to pull down pants.We live in a rural area so ours kids interact constantly.It puts a big strain on our relationship and the relationshp with both our other children.The neighbor Mom won't let her other older son play with my children because  it's not fair to her "4" year son won't have anyone to play with.I fell that she is punishing everyone for not proper behavior from two of our children.We are a big support system for each other.What should I do??

Quote From: ritehere

Has your friend always been so free with advice and discipline regarding YOUR children, but not her own? If she's always been like this, I would wonder why you put up with it for so long. If it's new behavior, then there might be something wrong that she is taking out on you and your kids.

Same goes for her kids, have they always been in your kids faces, hitting and yelling? If this is all new, something might be up at home.

Quote From: jettav

You need to have that littel girl in coundeling, it will help her to express her feelings and anger and will also help you to learn how to deal with this. Counselores have a way of getting the kids to talk and all, Now is the time to get her help, otherwise there will be problems when she is older. I understand how you are feeling about discipline and all but she needs discip[line, otherwise, you will have an out of control child. it will only get worse if you do not take care of it now, I was in thereay in my thirties becasue of childhood traums, I have 30 year old cousin in therapy now because of her childhood trauma, people who do not get help early on will have problems in the future, some worse then others, but this kind of trauma takes away good self esteem and worth, they grow up feeling ashamed of who they are and sometimes takes the blame for themselves, kids act out what they are feeling and even things that happened to them, you need to get her professional help and you go with her.

Quote From: ritehere

 It's difficult to answer this, since I'm not there to see how she operates. One clue though, is the fact that she came into your life when you were vulnerable. She was very helpful at first, but after awhile you began to feel uncomfortable.

Some people feel a need to be in control of somebody else because they have no control in their own lives. (I'm guessing here, because she does NOT control HER kids.) Often times these people will "latch" onto vulnerable people for just that reason, it's easier to get the upper hand that way.

Realize that she probably doesn't even consciousely  know she is doing this. It's a behavior trait that is ingrained for whatever reason she needed it at one time in her life. However, knowing this does not make it OK for her to rule your life. This is often how abusive relationships between men and women start too. Send her packing unless she is willing to change her controlling ways.

This may not be the truth of the matter, it's only a guess from what you have written.

Quote From: bessie_37

I'm not sure if anyone can help me, but I could sure use some advice right now. My 17 year old daughter recently came to live with me. She had been living with her dad and stepmom and they kept locking her out of the house and she claimed that her dad was hitting her. Well, she has lived with me for 6 months. Before she moved here, I knew of her drug abuse, her dad had told me. Well, recently she met this guy, I was totally against her going out and dating him just because I didn't like the way he looked, he just looked like a bum. Well, when she first moved here with me, she and I were so close. Then, along came the boyfriend, she changed, it was like she was another person. Well, I kept coming up short on my hormone pills, and I didn't suspect anything until it happened for 2 months in a row and the pharmacist brought it to my attention. By the way, they are blue and look like a valium. I still believe she had taken them. About a month after she was here my husband had back surgery about a year ago and still had some pain medication left. Well, one day when he went to take one, there were only a few in there and he knew he didn't take them. So, I took it upon myself one day while she was outside to go into her purse and search, low and behold there they were. She had taken them. That is when I knew she was on drugs. Well, now the boyfriend she is with comes in. He came over to my home one morning and walked through my house, I thought him and her were going out to get something out of his truck, they went outside and he left squealing tires and leaving like a mad man. Well, I asked her when she came in what his problem was and she said that he was mad because I told him that he couldn't come back. I never even said anything to him. My husband and I were at our counter going over our bills, neither of us said anything to her or him. Well, I went into her room and told her that if that is the way he drives then she isn't to get back into the truck with him again. That is when things went bad. My husband and I had to go into town for something and when we came back she came into the living room and told me that she was leaving going over to his house to live. I then said " by whose authority, you are only 17" and she told me " by the authortity of the sherriff's office" well, I had her going to night classes to get her diploma at that time and it was on the night she was to go. Well, she came in  the living room and picked up my husbands cell phone because I was on my home phone, and called the boyfriend. I got off of the phone and went into her room to get the cell phone because she wasn't going to leave with his phone. I tried to get the phone from her and that is when she began pushing me and sprang 2 of my fingers and bruised my back. and she cut my leg with a knife. She just kept on yelling at me to hit her, I guess so that the boyfriend could hear her tell me that. Well, I yelled for my husband to call the police and that is when he came in the room and she just stood up and handed him the phone. So, she walked outside and stood at the end of our driveway, waiting on him to get here. When he did get here he waited for her at the end of the road, which is a major highway, she started running when she saw that my husband was running after her. He backed into the main highway and a car almost hit on her side of the truck. All of this for something that I know she will regret. She had to be high on something that day because she was very powerful. Anyway, I ended up pressing charges on her because she dislocated L4 and L5 in my back . Now, her father, who was very abusive to me when we were married, has sent me a very naughty letter telling me that I have once again failed her and that I have pushed her out of my life again. Can someone please tell him if I made the right choice or not??? Please someone help me. I feel like I'm on the edge and I'm about to fall.. She has come to get her things a week after she left. She told me the day she left that she was an adult and that she wanted to be on her own and wanted to be left alone. Now, her dad is blaming me.. Telling me that I have left her now again with nowhere to go.. Can someone please help me before I go over the edge.. I really need a friend right now... I can't talk to my husband anymore about this because he has high blood pressure and don't need this stress to add to that. Any advice would be very grateful.. 

Thanks, 

  

Quote From: gagearnaud

Ok, I know kids bite.  Anyone has any advice on what worked for them to get them to stop.  My son just turned two years old and recently started biting.  He gets really excited and bites.  He doesn't do it when a child has his toys, or hurts him, he does it when he is so excited he doesn't know what to do with himself.  It's frustrating b/c he  is just learning how to talk more, he still talks jibberish and doesn't talk sentences yet.  But will say words.  So we are just starting the time out thing, So I try that.  Any advice?

Quote From: parents

I have a 4 year old daughter who is in fact a very good child. I believe she gets away with things with her mother a little more often than she would with me. Actually, she doesn't get much into anything she shouldn't be doing. She does, however, know that her mother will come to her aid when she is upset, regardless of what I say most of the time. Kelsey is my daughter's name. We have been putting her to bed  ever since she has been born by laying down with her until she goes to sleep. I know, bad decision. We have been trying to get her to go to bed on her own and it is an absolute nightmare. It always starts out ok but then she will get up often within her room, go to the bathroom, play with her animals in bed, just anything to get out of going to sleep. She WILL NOT go to bed without pitching a horrifying fit, and then still won't go to sleep. She will scream at the top of her lungs for her mother and shows aggression towards me when I get on to her. Her mother often gives in and defeats the whole purpose of it all. I am fighting a losing battle. The relationship between my wife and I is non-existent in the evenings because of this. This ALWAYS carries on into the wee hours of the morning and NEVER gets solved. It is making me personally irritable toward my child and I feel like I never have anything to look forward to when I come home. I know what awaits me every evening and am seriously exhausted with this. We have done nearly everything possible. I have successfully made her go to bed once when her mother was out of town. I did not whip her. I just ignored her and she eventually squalled her self to sleep. I need her mother to show the same strength. Kelsey is more aggressive on this situation when her mother is around and does anything in her power to get her mother to sleep with her. My wife and I need to start having time of our own together and quit spending it trying to put Kelsey to sleep. What is the best thing to do?