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October 27, 2005, 5:24 pm PDT
lying and spending money
I am sending this message in hopes of some feedback and solutions. Money is the number one problem in my relationship with my live in boyfriend! I feel that we both have very bad conceptions about money. First of all, I am 27 years old and this is the first time that I moved out from my parents home. I've been on my own for about 6 months. My boyfriend in 41 years old and was living on his own for a very long time. For one, I know my problem with money, I use shopping as a healer to my depression. My patterns are purchasing something and hiding it from my boyfriend or lying about the purchase, Ladies, you know what I'm saying: "Oh, this old shirt, I bought it months ago but forgot I had it." Over the years, I rack up the plastic and max them out , get more plastic and max them out too. Currently, I am $4,000.00 in CC debt. My boyfriend is "sneeky" with his money. I am a snoop and when we first started dating, I found utiity bills in his ex's name for him. I found a letter about his ex complaining out him not paying the bills that were in her name. I found this odd because, my boyfriend seemed like he had his finances in check. Low and behold, When we moved out together, he had me put all the utilities in my name! We pay the utilities with joint finances but I still wonder what his debt situation is. He is very secretive about this. I also found out that he had been evicted twice in his life. Also, he "mysteriously lost his company when I first met him." He claims that his ex stole money from the company. More alarming, he has two ladies that he was friends with and myself all were good freinds. Now, both are leaving mean voice mails about him owing them money? Should I just let it go? Hey with both have scary money issues, we still have a roof over our heads. But, we are discussing marriage in the future.
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