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October 8, 2005, 9:43 pm PDT
blueonblue
Quote From: blueonblueI tried to post on this board and it ended up in the Divorce section somehow... So here goes - again! Relationship Myth: Good marriages last...
Five years ago my husband's attitude and behavior changed dramatically after a lengthy business trip requiring several weeks away from me and our children. No, he did not have an affair (his sex drive decreased gradually over these years), he simply had a taste of freedom and loved it. He rarely ever travelled on business before this. We recently separated after he refused to seek counseling either as a couple or on his own. During our 23 year marriage, we rarely argued and never fought. He says he no longer loves me and feels he's missing out on something by being tied to me, yet still tries to "share" his travels, social schedule, etc. with me. I discourage this lately. He is still a sloppy dresser and looks unkempt so he obviously isn't trying to impress another woman. He has grown a mustache and goatee thing. After 10 weeks apart, my life is finally coming together and I doubt I would take him back, but I haven't shut the door on that option just yet. A part of me still loves him. There is no other woman involved - he just wants the freedom to do whatever he wants (golf, roller skating, partying, skiing, etc.) whenever he wants. (He did all these things before but not with my approval.) He no longer has to feel guilty about leaving me at home while he pursues his interests and has to answer to no one now. He still supports us financially and sees our daughter (13) fairly often. Our son (he's 19) could care less about his dad. I have lost a lot of respect for my husband, but over time I am making a new life for myself. I recently got a part-time job I really like and enjoy the company of some wonderful friends. My husband has no friends he can talk to, only 3 meddling sisters who encouraged him to leave me if he was unhappy. His two other siblings absolutely disapprove of his behavior and have told him so. Is there anyone else who has experienced this with their hubby? Is there any hope he might come to his senses? I don't intend to grow old alone, but don't want to give up on a 28 year relationship and then regret it. Apparently many men do not feel THEY have to honour their wedding vows these days. I never imagined my husband could be so selfish as to sacrifice everyone else's happiness for his own. I thought he was a better person than that. People we know simply cannot believe we have separated because we had such a wonderful marriage. They also can't believe that he could ever do such a thing to us. I'd love to hear from other wives who've survived this ordeal. ok blueonblue i feel u should move on with your life u seem to be a very caring women that will find someone who will respect and love u . so let go of the 28 years and start new because like the saying goes LIFE IS TO SHORT TO PUT THINGS ON HOLD.
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