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Messages By: katiesous

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October 7, 2005, 10:27 pm CDT

10/07 The Latest Debates

Quote From: princsjenn

First of all I am not a mother but that does not hender my knowledge.  I would like to say that breastfeeding privately in public in one thing, however, there are many mothers out there who just let their breast be exposed.  What kind of message is that sending to our children...that mommies can expose their body wherever and whenever?  It worries me because so many mothers believe it is a bond between them and their child and I respect that but I don't care to see a bare breast out in the open.  And please don't tell me to look the other way because I don't need to be inconvienced because you want to do as you please.  I just think that most mothers need to learn to compromise and cover themselves up. 

  

Condoms at school...good or bad?  Well first of all it all starts in the home.  I believe that it is not the school's responsibility to teach our children about sex education.  I am a sophomore in college and it's a topic that is roaming all over the campuses in high school and unfortunately in the junior high levels.  There needs to be a "talk" about this in the home.  After this is established then the school needs a sex educational course to refresh or fill in any of the missing gaps.  I believe that handing out condoms at school is not a bad idea.  It does not promote having sex at an early age nor does it influence the teenagers more.  Kids are going to find a way whether or not they have been told in the home that it's bad to have sex before they are married.  Therefore, I think kids should be provided with the knowledge as well as the supplies that go along with it. 

  

Lastly, the issue about rowdy kids in public places and whether or not we have the authority to disipline them is sketchy.  I feel that if some little kid is tormenting me or someone else, he/she or I have the right to tell them to stop.  However, if they are running around not bothering anyone physically but it is still annoying, the best solution is to talk to the parents.  Parents should teach their children how to behave in public places and then we wouldn't have this debate.  Overall, don't approach the children, talk to the parents first. 

I don't really think it is an issue of the mothers doing as they please... I'm not a parent either, so i can't comment on the feeling of not being able to feed their child because someone else does not want to be inconvenienced. I think it's an issue of their child needs to be nourished. And is it really an inconvenience to concentrate  on what you went to that place to do in the first place? If people didn't spend so much time concentrating on how uncomfortable it makes them feel,and spent a little time trying to be empathetic to that small childs' need to eat, not to mention staring at the mother, which probably makes her very uncomfortable, they'd most likely forget it was even happening.
 
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October 7, 2005, 11:48 pm CDT

Betrayal

 I have had many bad friend situations. Now, i am 25 years old, and i grew up in LA. A lot of my bad friend situations were with friends that i knew in high school. They've stolen boyfrends, said bad things, etc... but the one that hurt the most, but also helped the most was the most recent one. This year, a friend of mine of 10 years( and not all of it was good) found a boyfriend. I didn't like him at all, but it was not my place to say it to her, because he was important to her. (he wasn't bad or dangerous, i just didn't like him.) She and i have had a temultuos relationship, but were very close. Her boyfriend thought i was too outspoken, and the things i experienced were false ( i'm a chef, so lots of drama and excitment happens during service, and to the average person, some of it may seem a bit out there). Now, she had only known this guy for 2-3 months, but took every word to heart. She didn't call for like 1.5 months, and then i got an e-mail out of the blue.  

   She started off by calling me a liar- now there's my biggest pet peeve- liars- so i was immediatly defensive. and then proceeded to tell me EVERYTHING she didn't like about me- i'm a smoker(she is too) i won't go out with her (i don't do frat bars- and i have a career that requires a lot of my energy. The last thing i want to do is hang out with a bunch of spoiled rich kids who's worst problem is that their daddy didn't buy the right color of beemer.) anyway, she went on for 3 pages about how much i suck.  

   3 years ago, i would have cried and apologised and asked her what i couls do to change. Now, not so much. I have found my authentic self, and along with that, my career, my new husband, and a very happy life i didn't even know was possible!My theory on certain bad friend situations, is if they can't like YOU, they probably never will, so why wast your time. I haven't spoken with her in almost a yaer, and i feel a bit lighter, and safer knowing the people around me are trustworthy of my heart. 

 
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October 7, 2005, 11:56 pm CDT

Betrayal

Quote From: newhope76

    

Hello,   

I have an issue that eats away at me daily and I figured I would get soem objective opinions.  I had an best freind for 2o yrs...while now I realize it was mostly toxic. During that time we had many "joint" friends. However my best friend of 20 yrs treated me like dirt, used me and betrayed me.  During the course of that time we met another friend and we all used to hang out all the time. One day my ex best friend decided to not talk to our new friend anymore, for no good reason, and the new friend was fine with it.  Then when I decided that I had to let go of this toxic friendship with my ex best friend, she ran right to our "new" friend whom I had become very close with, as well as some other joint friends. However all of my other friends stood by me and said they had no desire to be freinds with my ex best friend who was toxic. However this one new friend has decided to become friends again with my  ex best friend because she never "really: did anything to hurt her. Now my ex best friend is even planning to go visit her and it makes me sick. How can someone that I value as a close freind want my ex best friend in thier life. I hate to make her choose, but I just cant stomache this relationship. Any advice would be appreciated.   

thanks in advance ;0)   

You really can't make your friend choose. Just be their friend like always. If this ex friend did this stuff to you, it's likely she'll do it to your friend.  I've been in this position , and my friend was so supportive and good to me, even though she still remains friends with my ex friend to this day. We've already lost one, don't push your other friend away! 

  

  

PS. Don't loose faith in yourself that you can find more supportive people to surround you! 

 

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