Messages By: txs_wis

Breast feeding:  why do those who oppose BF in public make it sound like some sort of strip show?  I have never understood this.  I have BF 4 children in various surroundings from home, family functions to public places.  I BF in places that were comfortable for both my baby and myself.  99% of the public restrooms I have ever been in do not have a comfortable place to sit and nurse a hungry baby.  I never 'stripped' to feed my children.  I did find some of the nursing shirts available to be more revealing when worn and were more of a hassle than just a regular t-shirt.  A friend came across a great pattern for nursing shirts that were never revealing.  But even using it along with a cardigan sweater, I still got harassed and I was even in a very discreet corner of the local Walmart.  BF, its natural and you never have to worry about whether or not you have enough, is it fresh enough or even to warm it up 

To discpline others children:  It is most proper to say something to the parent(s) first and foremost.  However, if their child has physically done something to my person, you can bet I will say something to the child and then speak to their parents.  All to often, I have observed children's bad behavior protected by their parents because their parents feel only they can discpline their children when they feel like it and this just reinforces a child's bad behavior.  More than once, I have taken a child home early from a playdate at my house because of lack of respect to me, my child or my home.  The child's attitude was one of "you're not my Mom/Dad!".  The parent(s) were very miffed with me but I make it clear up front what I expect behavior wise.  I was once trying to have a conversation with a mother in her home and her daughter climbed into the middle of the table and sat between the mother and myself and talked to me even though I was already engaged in conversation with her mother.  The mother never really told the child to stop.  I stood up, picked the child up, set her on the couch and explained I was talking with her mom and would talk with her when we were through.  The mother looked shocked and later my husband said I shouldn't have done that because the child might not like me.  My response was, 'Respect me now, like me later.'  I could go on with a list of situations in which Mom and Dad just seemed oblivious to their children's behavior and it took another party to call it to their attention and sometimes even tell the children to stop their behaviour. 

Condoms and CHILDREN:  Not a smart mixture.  Schools educate NOT provide the method.  I am all for education of our kids on their bodies and how they work.  They can inform them of the different EFFECTIVE methods of birthcontrol but to actually had it out is just irresponsible. 

gdh, Wisconsin 

Howdy, nice to find other stay at home moms.  I do admire those that homeschool but I am afraid I do not have that much patients.  I have 4 kids - 13, 8, 7 and 4.  I too wouldn't have it any other way.  To stay home with my children, both my husband and I think, has been the best decision we've made in regards to raising our children.  I do have a college degree and had been often told by a close friend that I was wasting it.  she on the other hand complained about her children's lack of motivation in school, short attention spands and so on.  she and her hubby both worked full time in Houston, TX.  Calling her after 9pm was trying as their kids were still up because they wanted to spend quality time with them.  Their days were long and nites short as they had to be up early enough to deliver their kids to before school day care and be to work on time in the Houston traffic.  With her last child though, she opted to stay home.  the first thing she told me was that she noticed how calm and attentive her children had become.  Boy, I had to bite my tongue to keep from saying, 'I told you so!!!"   

I do work in direct sales for extra income these days but prefer to stay home with my kids and keep them busy with activities and enjoy their milestones in life. 

gdh, Wisconsin 

Oh, yes, there are some excellent day cares out there for sure but I think many many of them are just 'warehousing' kids until Mom and Dad are ready to go home. 

I did choose some form of limited day care for my kids at different points and times in their lives but it  was more because we live way out in the country and they had limited social interaction.  Around the age of 3, I would try to get them into some form of preschool for about 2 or 3 hours twice a week.  They got to go some place 'fun' (but educational) and I got my shopping done in less time and stress  free as I didn't spend my time chasing an active toddler around or wrestling them into the car because they just weren't ready to go from the store yet!  LOL!  This going to 'school' really did help to prepare my kids for taking instruction from someone else other than mommy or daddy. 

I guess with my friend, what behooved me the most about one of her comments was even though her kids were in day care from about 6am in the morning until 6pm in the evening (12 hours in someone else's care!), she claimed not to have missed any of her children's 'firsts'.  I am sorry, a day care will see your child's first anything before you do with that type of schedule, I doubt that they'd tie your child down just so they won't have their firsts until you are ready.  Although I do know of some daycares  that would leave infants and toddlers in carseats and highchairs for lengthy times and these poor kids had no activity at all! 

Does anyone miss their babies?  I mean, mine have grown to the point of independance and can dress, toilet, get snacks and drinks on their own.  I do miss having a baby baby around but really do enjoy my 'freedom' of not having to change diapies, clothes and a constant serving of snacks.  With 4 kids, it gets taxing.  This year, its a freedom of about 4 hours a day, 5 days a week while they're all in school.  We won't be having anymore babies.  4 is my limit, or atleast for now.  If we should desire more babies, it'll be thru fostering or adoption and hopefully in about 20 years some grandbabies but that is a long long way off. 

gdh, Wisconsin 

I have to giggle over the comment "So what's another one in diapers, right?"  I've been thru having one in potty training, one on the verge of transition from diapers to potty training and one in diapers all at once.  My sister has 5 kids and all very close in age and I have many Dutch friends who would have as many as 3 or 4 in diapers, on the verge of transition of diapers to potty and so on.  It can be soooo much fun *see me rolling my eyes?!*.  LOL!  It can be quiet the comedy when on an outting and you've got one dancing to pee, one waffling on whether or not they need to go and the baby is needing a diapie change because they just exploded out of their diaper even though you've just changed them not two minutes ago!  Of course while it was going on, you didn't think it was funny but now, it must have looked commical somewhat. 

Velma9, so sorry you've found yourself in your position.  Glad though you have your goal of getting that higher education.  It can come in handy one day.  Lots of luck to you and your child.  Do you have any family network behind you to help out in childcare?  Be sure to check out grants and scholarships (grants you won't have to pay back). 

gdh, Wisconsin 

Shellee 

this is one of the most ignorant remarks you made today, although I have not read thru all of todays remarks yet.  I found your post to be most agitating. 

Why people found you so offensive on the show was your apparent distaste period for the act of BF and you just seethed at the subject as if it was some unnatural act.  Believe me, the comparison you made to a BF baby and your BoyFriend eating off your naked breast doesn't even come close to being the same. 

I watched my taped version twice to see if you ever said why you dislike the act of BF in public even discretely and you never did.  You gave plenty of comparisons of BF to other distasteful sights but you NEVER said why this personally bothered you and just saying 'you don't like the sight of it'  is not a reason. 

gdh, Wisconsin 

OMG!  I really feel for you.  No, you are not a bad house wife.  Kids, even if it is only one, can really take a lot out of you and even at 3 months after the birth, you are still recovering.  Harmones are still changing, you body is still changing and baby demands a lot of your time. Baby care does take a huge chunk of time.   If hubby wants a cleaner home, he can lay out his own clothes and get some of the shopping on his way home from work. 

Some hubby's have their 'clean' area focus.  For my hubby, its the table.  As long as the table is cleared of clutter and after meal dishes, he is ok with it.  I know I am not the worlds best house keeper and I definitely know I am not superMOM but I keep up with the laundry and I always make sure my family has a home cooked meal 6 days out of the week, the one day I don't cook it is take out or we eat out. 

We have 4 kids and they're just now getting to where I am not taxed to my limits.  I need my 'down' time and most often a nap still but as my kids have grown a bit more independent, I am getting more done in the house again. 

gdh, Wisconsin 

You know, I have given more thought to what you have posted.  I don't know what type of work your hubby does or how many/what courses he is taking but he DOES get to leave the house daily (I am assuming at least 5 days a week possibly 6 if he works on Saturdays) and he gets to interact with different people daily.  You on the other had live at your work place.  yes, you read right, STAY AT HOME MOM is a real job and it is not just one job but LOTS of jobs.  YOu are on call 24 hours a day for 7 days a week. 

This is a conversation my husband and I had back when our second child was born.  I'd be almost crazy by the time he came in (he works farming and that in itself a hard job).  He just couldn't understand why the house looked like a disaster zone, the kids were all over and supper was getting later and later each day.  I finally told him I understood the need for him to relax when he came home but he had the luxury of leaving home and doing different things in a different environment.  If work became demanding or stressful, he could at least leave it at the end of the day and come home.  I on the other had was at work 24/7 and NO days off.  Our kids are his kids too and if he could just play, read or do something with the kids before and after supper maybe things could get cleaner and quieter faster.  He went as far as to bath our youngsters and dress them for bed while I cleaned up after supper and did a few extra chores.  Things went much better then.  I was lucky that my hubby saw that yes what I did was a REAL job and I wasn't getting any breaks. 

We've kind of have hit a rough patch again recently because of on going annoying health problems on my part but after several doctors appointments (gosh as I get older I swear I am falling apart!  LOL!), he realized that yes I was in pain and that some simple tasks like mopping or carrying the clothes baskets aggrivated the condition.  He helped me assign the kids certain household tasks to help out weekly and gets after them for not doing expected chores like picking up after themselves.  

Maybe your husband can do some baby duty in the evening while you catch up on some chores and on weekends when he isn't working or in class take baby out for a stroll or even watch baby for a few hours while you goto market for the bulk of household items that he couldn't shop for during the week after work. 

Point is it is his baby too and he has a responsibility towards his child and his household and that includes more than just bringing home a paycheck. 

OMG!  You've got one smart little cookie there.  I can relate some although the pinching of the testicles are a new one on me.  LOL!  I think I'd be curious now,  HONEY!!!!!!!  Can you.........  Just kidding.  My oldest was around 5 when his sister was born ( I have 4 kids in all now ) and while changing her diaper, he looked and asked when does her penis grow in?  It was all I could do not to disolve into total laughter.  I also got a bit worried when he asked when his sister could start sleeping in his bed like mommy sleeps with daddy.  Oh My, I was really floored with that one and we had to discuss with him why he and his sister could not sleep in the same bed and why mommy and daddy could.  It cleared it up for him and he never asked again.  Since we live on a farm, how babies are born and conceived weren't to much a concern for him as he saw it from the time he was really little. 

Have you had a talk with your boy's pediatrician?  That is a good place to start as the doctor can explain lots of physical things to your boy and give it to him in a matter of fact way that may make it not so facinating anymore for your son.  I had a good pediatrician who could talk with the kids on their level of understanding.  Your pediatrician can also let you know what information is too much for him and even what is normal behavior for your son.  To me, he sounds really normal to me so far.   

Both my hubby and I come from really good stable homes with lots of family who have stable marriages.  In my daughter's school class, I think most of her classmates live in homes of divorce.  My daughter asked me, while she was in second grade, where would her daddy go when we got our divorce.  Would he live in Dubuque, IA like many of the other daddies of her classmates.  That was a fun one to explain. 

Oh, thank you for making me feel so lucky with mine staying dry at nite early on.  LOL!  While potty training for some reason all of mine would decide to pee on me in my Sunday best!  Nothing like having an after service conversation and feel something very warm and wet go across your hip.  Gee, did I say I missed mine being babies?  I must be getting that selective memory that usually happens when you give birth.  You instantly forget the pain you just went thru to squeeze them and you want to have another baby right away.  LOL! 

When potty training, well, actually before while they were still in daipers, I was one of those odd balls that actually used clothe diapers.  I think that may have had something to do with it.  I went even as far as ironing the darn things!  No, I don't think I was that bored.  I hated the gerber cheese clothe types.  I did, however, love the ones my in laws sent me from Europe.  They were thicker and bigger and way more durable.  I don't think I have one single intact gerber one but have all of the European ones and that was thru 4 kids!  Pins and all.  No, I was not super mom.  We did it to save money. 

Did/does yours ever go hide in the closet to go potty?  my third one did and not in his training pants either.  I'd find neat little piles in the closet of the boy's room hidden under a shirt or something.  Drove me nuts.  some how I think it was his was of trying to say he wanted to potty his way; everyone else used the bathroom in the bathroom so he wanted to be different I guess.  

OH, for crying out loud!  Why are y'all still refering to BF like it is some sort of stripping act or BF mothers are sitting in public topless?  That's not what is going on.  It has been made rather clear that BF is being done discreetely.  I have yet to see a BF mother 'whip it out' or have their babies 'hanging' off of it.  When I BF in public, I was covered with no skin showing and was still harassed for it even though the lady admitted she could not see my breast at all.  She said "but I still know what you are doing"  This is the attitude that is out there. 

I am glad I grew up on a farm and my kids are growing up on a farm, they most definitely know its natural and they also know enough NOT TO STARE! especially at strangers. 

for anyone needing a good nursing top pattern, use a t-shirt pattern and overlay a crop top pattern over it.  It covers better than some of the commercial nursing tops and most definitely very comfortable..  It can get a little warm in the summer because of the top half is double layered but you don't have to deal with buttons or snaps. 

gdh, wisconsin