Messages By: barbie_

 Hey all

Name is Jenny, I'm 21 and I have been suffering from anorexia for the past few years. I was in denial about it for quite some time, and I've recently come to terms that I have a problem. I have not admitted to anyone (my friends or family) that I have an eating disorder, even though I am constantly accused of having one. I'm embarassed to admit to my eating disorder, fearing that they will only think I want attention, which couldn't be further from the truth. I feel so alone having to deal with this 24/7, so it's nice to find a board where I have other people who know what I'm going through and can relate. Everyone else is so ignorant regarding eating disorders, and thinks we can eat if we want to...but it's not that easy!! It's so frustrating!

 Just needing to let off a little steam:

I have a highschool diploma. I've done college, TWICE. I recently graduated from a medical program with honours. However, I cannot seem to be able to get a decent job!! It's so hard to get a job in the hospital. My cousin did the medical course with me. He has next to no education (he didn't even finish highschool), HOWEVER, he got an interview for a job with a hospital, but I, someone who has highschool and college education, cannot even get an interview!!!!  My friends all have decent jobs, and most of them never did college. Why is it that the ones who never went onto higher education have the good jobs, and I'm stuck bussing tables!

I'm only 21, and I plan on going back to school in January to get even more education. It's just so depressing. I hate my job. Well, I dont HATE it. It's a nice job to hold for someone my age and thats going to school; but I only make about $400 a month!! I'm also sick and tired of being scheduled in to work EVERY single weekend, including this thanksgiving weekend, I have to work a 10 hour shift, plus I'm closing every day and I won't be able to be with my family on thanksgiving!  I havn't been able to spend time with my friends in months, since they work during the week, and have the weekends off...but I work during the week, and all weekend.

I'm contemplating qutting my job, as I see no point in working there anymore: I only make just enough money for gas to get me to work, I have been working there since June and I still havn't been able to buy ONE thing for myself besides gas! Whats the point of working if all you can afford is gas to get to work?!? I work my butt off, and I still make nothing. I miss my friends. It's starting to depress me! Just needed to let that out!

 First of all, I actually don't have an attitude, but I am going to come across as I have one, because people like you, who know NOTHING about my situation and act like they do and seem to think they need to put me in my place, really piss me off. Aside from my gripes about work, I'm actually a very upbeat person, I don't have a negative attitude. I sometimes forget that employers have some sort of  ESP and can sense my non existant bitter attitude through some words typed up on paper.  And maybe if you knew about the field I'm trying to get a job in, you'd know it's not because of an "attitude" that I can't get hired, but because when a job offer comes along for this department in this hospital, they first have to offer the job to someone who already works in the hospital, and if no one wants it, THEN they offer the position to people who don't work in the hospital yet. Thats why it's so hard for me to get a job in the hospital. 

Forgive me for being upset that I have all this education, and nothing to show for it.  Forgive me for being upset that I have to work till midnight, everyday on a holiday weekend when I'd like to spend with my family that I won't be able to see because I will be working for a measley $7.00 an hour. Forgive me for wanting to have just one weekend off to be able to spend time with my  friends and family. I don't mind working the weekends, I have a problem with working EVERY weekend. And maybe, if they offered more than $7/hour I would love to work on the weekends. I worked very hard through school, I studied my butt off to get the grades I did so I could get a good job. I don't think people have to work around me, so don't be making assumptions about people you don't know. I don't think I'm "entitled" to a 9 - 5 job, monday - friday. However, I think that with all the education and hard work I've put in, I deserve more than7 dollars an hour. I didn't work my ass off to be bussing tables for 7 dollars an hour without ever having one weekend off, while people who slacked off during highschool, barley passing, and never went onto higher education, are making twice as much as me and have the weekends off, every weekend.

So forgive me for not being insanley happy, jumping for joy because I get to work all holiday weekend, I can't go to my family dinner with relatives I rarely ever get to see. Forgive me for not having tears of joy streaming down my face because my paycheque only allows me just enough money to be able to get to and from work, and I havn't been able to buy one single thing for myself. Forgive me feeling a little down in the dumps lately because I havn't been able to see my friends in months. People do get lonely you know? That doesn't make them a horrible person.

So YOU get off YOUR highhorse and stop making assumptions about someone you don't even know. And stop acting like you're all high and mighty and never complain about work.  And believe me, I'm not complaining without trying to change the situation. I'm out looking for a new job every single time I have a day off.

 again, you're making assumptions about me. At least, thats the way you're message is coming across. Who said I don't like to work hard? I'll have you know that I  bust my ass off at my job. I pick up other peoples slack, the people who stand around and do NOTHING. And believe me, resturants get insanely busy on the weekends, and I do nothing but run around picking up other peoples slack. I help out my co-workers when they need a hand cause they're very busy as well. My managers have told me countless times how much they like the work I'm doing, and I'm already being promoted.  So do not tell me you've met people like me many times, then go onto mention all the lazy people you've worked with.  If I didn't like to work hard, I wouldn't have studied my butt off throughout highschool. I wouldn't have done college twice, as well as a MEDICAL COURSE, which requires insane amounts of hard work and discipline, and graduate at 90% because I studied for 6 hours a day, every day. Is that what you would call lazy and irresponsible? If I didn't like to work hard, I wouldn't be going back to school to recieve my BA in the school of social work because as it stands right now, I may never get into the HOSPITAL (the field of work that is my #1 choice, a job that requires HARD WORK), and I don't want to spend my life working for 7 dollars an hour, so I want to push myself even further, get even more education, and WORK HARD at school again.

And yes, you're right, we all start somewhere. I realize that. But god forbid I post on a message board to air my griefs about work (like we ALL do), and then to have some stranger accuse me of being lazy, and not willing to work hard because I said I don't like my job that pays me nothing and that I miss my friends and family because I'm stuck working EVERY single weekend.