Messages By: maxomax

 I refuse to give up. I can't, I have to take care of those in my family who can't take care of themselves. I write in my diary and do what I can to get the things off my chest that make me want to puke, really. Cry, yes am doing that now because it is such a relief. I have the support of those friends who understand and the family is just me, me, me and what will we do. I have been the rock always and will withstand all that comes my way. I can do this and will do this again. I have done it before. Yes it gets old but at 52 and having been there before you do it again. Start over and do your personal best. New job, New place to live is the works, Have to sell the dream house. Wasn't much but I hoped to stay here. New job starts in Nov. Daughter home due to have baby in Jan, son lost half social security because of his age, husband 100% disabled. Babies dad in jail, his parents won't help her. She just has to depend on us. We tried to interviene before, but her love for him was just too much to come between and she is disabled too. 3 disabled people in one house and me to deal with everything. They don't cope cause hey, they are sure mom will work things out. She has always. Well here I go again. Superwoman to the rescue. Do I need a break, yes but who cares about what I need. I got my break, between jobs for a month. wow. And now the bills piled up and we can't catch up. New way to deal, give up? Not on your life. I never give up. I will get the power from myself to get through this. I either get with it or else. I got no one to help but thats nothing new. Its my life and I won't let anything stand in my way. Do or die and I ain't ready to die....... get-er-done...!!!!!!!

People I know you have problems, but hey lets just give others a high 5 and just a little bit of compassion when you visit this site. Read their stories and then think about how you would feel, then atleast say something that you think might make them feel better. Just a note from someone will make them atleast know someone is reading their feelings. Trust me, we all need to know that we are being paid attention too. Thats why we all write, correct? Lets help those who need to know we all care and we are not alone.

I have seen it myself with my husband of 25 years, it happened to him too. His brother was married, the girl slept with both him, his brother and another guy. Who got the blame my husband. Then I saw it with another girlfriend he had. She had three kids and he thought the first was his, the second he found out was his best friends and the third was a 16 year old kid who she had slept with. She left town before we could get her to take a paternity test on the first one. She wanted welfare. I wasn't married to my husband before all of this, we were just friends, and I was just livid. He is still blamed for the first one because she was pregnant with his brothers kids when he went to court and she threatened his brother that if he went into court and said anything he would never see his child, they married years later and ended up with a total of five kids. Now you tell me. Why do you think that I believe if a woman has a child it's hers and she is the one who should take care of it. If you have a child out of wedlock, and you don't use birth control and no protection, who then is at fault? THE MAN? Give me a break!

Everyone knows this, the stars know this is true as well. Why do they dress the way they do? To get attention. If you want attention you will dress for it. When my daughter goes out and she is 24 she dresses for whatever she is going out for. If she is going to the store she will dress in jeans and a shirt, or shorts and a top, when she goes out to a club thats a different story. She wants to be noticed. Same thing with my son and my neice who are also the same age. They dress different depending where they were going. I was the type of mother who let them decide what was acceptable but I did have input and still do. They always ask me how they look to this day. I find out where they are going and then tell them what I think. They still listen, I am proud of that.

I know the holiday season is really hard for you right now, but I hope you are healing. Just remember to think of your family right now and stay focused on them.

We are being evicted and we even pay our rent on time every month. This isn't the issure. It's that my husband always has to get involved with lawsuits about something or cause some kind of problem. We are being harassed by the management of the apts we live in because we filed a lawsuit of discrimination against the apts because the trash compactor isn't handicapped accessible. Can you believe this one. We are fighting it but my husband is disabled and a few years ago was arrested for things we thought were dismissed but were ajudicated withheld, now they feel we should be evicted because even though we were approved for rental ten months ago they are saying he wasn't honest on his application. The office staff said go back two years and we are approved. Now because the city is after them they want to throw us out. The stuff won't even show up on the website after july 29th cause they were mistomeaners. This place is in such bad condition and we still pay our rent, now to the courts this month. They filed the eviction so we can't even find another place to live because of that now. They are harassing us and no one can do anything for us. I sure hope the judge sees it our way or I have no way out except one. I don't like what I will have to do but I just can't take it anymore, I have a peptic ulcer now and I am so depressed I want to die. I am in pain all the time and hate my life. What next?

I waited 32 years to get my child back. She was 35 when I found her last year in October.

I understand the pain any mother has to feel when their child is taken.

No woman can be sure her mate will take their child but when they do they can be sure they will continue to fight, go to jail or do anything to get her baby back.

I would have but didn't have the chance.

Our relationship is long distance, we have seen each other only twice and I have met her husband and my grandchildren so atleast knowing is a relief.

We look very much alike and I am happy just to know she is only a phone call away.

My son from my marriage is hateful, and mean and says things like " if she really knew you she wouldn't like you" and this is from a 25 year old man who lives at home and is abusive to me and his father.

My other daughter hates my relationship with her because her half sister has the perfect life and she has a life that is difficult because of her own choices.

I never knew her father would take her but once he did I worked years to find her and would go through it all again and done it differently if I had the chance but since my female family members who became parents have never without being married gave the child the fathers last name unless they were married and then didn't even marry unless they had clear signs that it would be something worth taking that chance.

We learned it was better to raise a child alone then suffer from having a child taken away from them.

I made the mistake of giving him too much power.

I also made the mistake of trusting him too much.

I learned from those mistakes.

It was a hard lesson but atleast now I can talk to my first born and I am a lucky woman to have found her.