Messages By: fat_kitty

Hi, maybe you all can help me. Who knows?

Okay, here's my situation. I have known my husband for 12 years and we've been married for 6 of those 12 years. We used to have a happy and healthy sex life. Now? We haven't had sex in 2 years.

A little background:
We are both in our mid-thirties and don't have kids. We get along great and believe we are each others soul mates. Yes, there have been problems in the past. I'm not sure, but here are some things that may contribute to why we aren't having sex:

-My husband is an alcoholic. He has been sober for almost 10 months now. He used to hide the fact he drank and would go to great lengths to hide it from me. I felt betrayed and lied to, so this hasn't helped the situation. I understand it's a disease and he is very sorry he hurt me. He is doing great now and I believe we are stronger for going through this. Even though I feel better about us, there is still a small part of me that doesn't trust him. Could this be my problem?

-I lost 25 pounds. I feel great!! But there was a time when I felt fat and ugly and didn't want to be touched. Even though I lost the weight and feel so much better about my body, I still kinda feel that way. How can I get over it?

-The no-kid thing. We both do not want children. I have been on birth control pills and they all reak havoc on my body. I've been on 7 different kinds. We used to use condoms and a lot of the time, we didn't use anything. This would make me very, VERY nervous... almost to the point of where I couldn't relax. To me, I equal having sex to getting pregnant and that terrifies me! It terrifies me to the point of not wanting sex at all.

I love my husband very much. Other aspects in our relationship are great... but I know this one is a biggie, so I am hoping someone can give me some insight... any help at all is greatly appreciated. Thankyou.

It's just your metabolism. I was just like you when I was in high school. I was sooo skinny, everyone thought I was anorexic. My gym teacher even pulled me in her office to "talk" about it.

Yet every day, I was stuffing so much food down my face. Lunch consisted of twinkies and ho-ho's with some chocolate milk. And NO, I did not throw it up later. I hated throwing up! I would never do that on purpose.

But by the time I went away to college, I started gaining a little weight. I filled out and looked normal. I was still far from being overweight, but I was normal looking for my height.

Now I am in my mid-thirties and I noticed that my metabolism has slowed WAY down. Over the last few years I gained an extra 25 pounds. I just shed that weight a few months ago and am back down to my college weight again (my normal weight). :)

Anyway, all I am saying is that you will eventually grown into your body. 14 is still young and your body hasn't finished growing yet. Believe me, it will and you'll fill out. Just try to lay off the fatty foods... and eat more veggies :)