Messages By: gallen

The show we saw today wasn't intended to be about a husband that is only about putting his wife down, despite her efforts to please him. I think a lot of the posts are leaning that way, and that is something left to every individual to decide - how he or she is going to cast his or her vote. 

I think what the husband was trying to get across was that he loved his wife, he loves his family, and wants nothing less than to be living life at its fullest. If there are obstacles preventing you from getting everything out of life that you can - because you haven't done something to remove them - then I think you are cheating yourself. Husbands and wives should respect each other. I want my wife to succeed at what she is doing because it will benefit her, our children will benefit, and we will benefit as a couple. 

You said: 

The expression on Grant's face when HE was doing the housework clearly shows that he thought it all discussing and demeaning. 

I disagree with you completely. 

I don't think you can tell a single thing about what was going through his head from that tiny video clip. I happen to believe that the clip was taken at an inopportune moment and he was just trying to roll along with things. 

I noticed several people posting in reference to comments Diana made. 

I agree with her take on the roles as they relate to a married couple, with children. 

It makes sense to me that at least one of the parents be directly involved with the 

daily routines and what some might call nurturing. It makes sense to me that one 

of the parents take the responsibility of generating enough income to provide the 

family with somewhere to live. I haven't heard or seen her say anything that could  

be considered as radical, oppressive, demeaning, or irrational. 

I think I understand the crux of what you are saying in your post. 

I didn't see where you say if both of you are working, or both of you are out of work... 

I don't think that just because she is a woman, my wife must stay at home and be responsible for the household duties. We decided to structure our lives that way. I committed to make sure that she had a home to raise our children in, give her every tool she needed to do her job, and support her with her work. 

I am glad you watched the show and gave some input. 

I wasn't given much time at all to complete very specific tasks. 

I have tried organizing the drawers and cupboards. I have resolved, 

as a temporary means of keeping the peace at home, that since she 

doesn't redecorate my office I won't redecorate hers.  

Grant. 

Thank you for your response. 

I am not so concerned about not living my dreams - you are right; sometime dreams are 

a little more than within our grasp. I am a very functional person - if something doesn't 

work then it needs to be fixed. The aspect in my relationship with my wife that is exasperating right now is that I see her tired, worn down, and exhausted from cleaning up after our three kids all day. I have done it, not just for TV either. I get fed up with the chaos that has become our home sometimes. I think toys for the kids are wonderful - I have some toys myself. I think it is too much when there isn't a space available in the house to put the toys away when it is time to clean up.  Dirty dishes - they happen almost as often as you eat. I actually like doing the dishes. The frustration for me comes when there isn't a place to set the clean ones down after washing them. I know a lot of people will take issue with what I am saying with this, again. I wanted to meet with someone that would actually help Kelly and I with some ideas for organizing our house to make it run more smoothly. I wish that Diana had gotten more time to speak. I am looking for responses from people that post with clever ideas that they have used to help the marital woes. 

I take it from your post that you are suggesting to Kelly that she make a move to end the relationship and disrupt the family. Is that really what you are suggesting would be a good idea? 

I am not sure that would really help anyone. 

You ask some interesting questions. 

I know that Kelly and I have talked about her expectations of her husband. 

I may not have understood them like I should have, perhaps? It is certainly worth looking into. 

I think you'll be interested to know that on weekends, and evenings when I am home early from work, I do take on the cooking. I enjoy cooking. We like to BBQ in the backyard. I try to lighten Kelly's load whenever I can. I think you are correct in your proposed marital agreement. 

Grant.