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Messages By: ulfarmer

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October 10, 2005, 7:26 am CDT

scaredparent

I am scared to death of my sons temper and moods. He is 14 and his father and I just found out 3 wks ago his ex-girlfriend is preg and today I just read his IM's and it said his girlfriend is preg. He keeps talking about killing himself (to his friends) on his IM's and/or killing us. He has been through alot. When he was 1 and ahalf he was almost killed while my mother was holding him and his grandfather can in and shot her. His real father is a jerk and wants nothing to do with him, his step father love him but my son is standoffish now. He is ok on outside to us but he is hiding things and I have to read his im's to see how things are going. We might move and he wants to kill us for that but we might not have choice but he also can't seem to keep it in his pants and that scares the heck out of me. I cked in to places for troubled teens but they want almost 5thousand a month and with only one person working and 5 kids how does one get help? I am scared of state facilities. He needs help and so do we. I want him to be around forever and at this pace he won't. Please someone give information on what to do. 

Scared mom 

 
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October 23, 2005, 8:57 pm CDT

Still Scared

Well It is conformed, my son is 14 and is going to be a dad 2x. I have got some information on help line but everywhere I was referred to cost anywhere from 2,500 and 6,000 amonth. That is funny when they say "Is that a problem", well what do they think! I figured out the only way my son is going to get help is if I turn him over to the state as lost hope and just give up in him. When I found out today this it was positively no question his girlfriend now is preg, I really wanted to die. I just got back from taking care of my mother who was shot by my father while she was holding this son of mine 13 yrs ago Oct 18 and knowing my mother would never feed herself again and coming home to this. I straight up told my husband and my son I don't want to be here anymore and if I didn't love them and my younger son who is only 6 I would go crazy or just die. And they ask if 2,500-6,000 amonth is "OK". I know it is not their fault but I can't even pay bills these days. I don't have a clue what to really do. Where can a person that just wants to make it to the next day that is ONLY living day by day as it is to get help. I love all of my family and want the best but can't afford it. I am going crazy!!! Please someone with realistic advice give it.
 
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October 25, 2005, 7:09 am CDT

alittle less scared

Quote From: ulfarmer

Well It is conformed, my son is 14 and is going to be a dad 2x. I have got some information on help line but everywhere I was referred to cost anywhere from 2,500 and 6,000 amonth. That is funny when they say "Is that a problem", well what do they think! I figured out the only way my son is going to get help is if I turn him over to the state as lost hope and just give up in him. When I found out today this it was positively no question his girlfriend now is preg, I really wanted to die. I just got back from taking care of my mother who was shot by my father while she was holding this son of mine 13 yrs ago Oct 18 and knowing my mother would never feed herself again and coming home to this. I straight up told my husband and my son I don't want to be here anymore and if I didn't love them and my younger son who is only 6 I would go crazy or just die. And they ask if 2,500-6,000 amonth is "OK". I know it is not their fault but I can't even pay bills these days. I don't have a clue what to really do. Where can a person that just wants to make it to the next day that is ONLY living day by day as it is to get help. I love all of my family and want the best but can't afford it. I am going crazy!!! Please someone with realistic advice give it.
Well things are better, as good as it can get in this situation. One baby is due November and we are not allowed anyrights to it. My son does not want to give up his rights but the girls father is making her give it up. The other is due in June and her parents have been as good as it can get, she is keeping the baby and we are going to work together as much as posibble. I don't want to send my son away, he is a good kid with good grades and just made 2 mistakes that can't be called that because of inoccent lives coming into the world. I don't know how we can do anything else to deal with this situation but we are going to try. We have been through so much we plan on making it thru this.
 
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October 25, 2005, 9:29 pm CDT

I want to be there for grandson

My son is 14 and is going to have a son. The girl came to me to let me know first, she was 7months along. Me and my husband had to tell her father. Of course being the single dad he is was mad and I am sure embarrassed that he didn't see it. Later he asked my thoughts about it and what I wanted. I told him we all talked before he got there and I wanted to take the baby. He said fine. Now he won't let her talk to us and said he wants to put the baby up for adoption to "A RICH FAMILY", my son is very up set and will not sign any papers. I know he is young but does her father have the right to not let us have anything to do with my soon to be grandson. Money doesn't buy the love I already feel for the baby. She knows I love and care about her too. I spent all summer doing things with her and even taking her to buy her school clothes. I want so much to be apart of this babys life. Her father told us if my son don't sign the papers they will keep the baby and make it hell for him. Her dad is also a alcoholic and has dirty house and it scares me to know the baby might go to that home. Please someone let me know of our rights. I have looked up everything and nothing has said anything about a fathers rights.
 
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October 30, 2005, 6:31 pm CST

Grandparents Raising Grandchildren

Quote From: itsgina14

Since your son is the father, he would have rights to the baby as well as the mother. If the house is that deplorable, and the grandfather to be is an alchoholic, you could notify DCYF with your concerns. Good luck to all of you. 14 is terribly young to be a father. Gina
Thank you Gina. I am scared because he has guns and is an alcoholic. My mother was shot by my father who was alcoholic w/gun. Yes 14 is very young to be a parent, it is not what I really wanted but he is going to be and I love both soon to be babies already.
 

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