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Messages By: summergirl1

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February 15, 2007, 2:28 pm CST

Yikes!!! Please take care of yourself!

Your mom is right. I know that is hard to swallow! You will fix things or you will end up dead. I know you think I do not know but I do know all to well. Please reach out and take whatever help you can get. Hope the girl that was on first reads these messages. Change your life while you are still capable! Seek the help of people who can lead you in the right direction. We are here for you.
 
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February 17, 2007, 4:54 pm CST

Relapse and Recovery

Congrats for her staying clean and staying in the rehab. Select life! It is not easy it is hard, hard work. It is worth it. It only takes one time to overdose and you are dead. I am speaking from experience I have had 2 family members die of overdose. Sad that one of them still has not been able to beat it. (one of the twins) My heart hurts for her. My heart hurts for the family. Hard to talk to people about what is going on in their lives... as when you are that messed up you really have no concept. Hard for the mother to get others to relate to what she is going through. Hard for the family not just the addicts. Wish I could make them understand that the options are stop or lose your life. As a family member who has lost my family to this same addiction would love to have a one on one with the girls. I will pray for their mother first and I will also pray for them. I am no expert, just someone who cares. It is amazing how many everyday straight A students and athletes are involved with heroin that do not fit the regular symptoms. Some of these kids have told me they just did heroin first straight off the top...never any other drug. They tried it they liked it they were hooked immediately. We need to do more to support the families and we certainly do not know the answer to caring for these addicts. Relapse is huge. I am no longer on that roller coaster as my people are gone...they are dead. I onlky wish somehow I could touch others with  my story to help them and their families. Trying to find a way to speak out and share with others with the hopes of enlightening them or just listening to the families and letting them know they are not alone. Dr. Phil thank you for bringing these things up and out into the public. I know how lonely it is when you as a parent are going through this and you do not know what to do. God bless.
 
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February 17, 2007, 4:59 pm CST

Tell It Like It Is

Quote From: rachel1222

He died on January 7th of 2006. He was in rehab and then relapsed after seven years. He was in a  rehab again for three days when he had to go to the ICU for an infection related to taking drugs and he never came out!

 

He started when he was a teen too. He never thought he'd die either. But he DID.

 

WAKE UP--you're not invincible.

 

Rachel  

Good Rachael Glad you shared this. Hope the girls read it! They need to hear it from real people that you will die if you keep up this mess. They think it is a bunch of parents and docs trying to tell them what to do. Lets tell it like it is...i also have people who have lost their lives after many rehab attempts. My life will never be the same. Thanks for being honest and sharing. Hope it helps!
 
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February 17, 2007, 5:26 pm CST

02/15 The Young and the Reckless

Quote From: khrysti

 Okay so we all agree these things are not good, but what if you're the friend? You can't ground your friend. She refuses to believe you know what you're talking about because you've never gotten high, her mom let's her do drugs in the house. My friend is having sex with married men. She's lost all her friends and still doesn't believe her dangerous/stupid lifestyle is the problem. So now what?
No, YOu cannot ground your friend and her mother is enabling her to use...her mother will find that by doing that it is only going to get worse and worse. I am sure she is trying to do the lesser of two evils and keep the girl at home and presumably safe but she is wrong. She will end up going into her daughters bedroom and finding her dead one day. Than she is going to spend the rest of her life mourning her daughters loss and even worse believeing that she may be somewhat responsible as she enabled her and allowed this to happen. Sometimes we have to step up and use that tough love type of parenting as well as friendship. I know it is hard and I know you all feel like you are leaving the addict hanging but believe me this person needs the tough love routine. They need a intervention. They need help. As long as they are being enabled by friends and family they will not hit bottom and get the help. As for the sex with the married men. They will do whatever they need to do to get their drugs. Things you and I would never imagine they would do. And sometimes the sex is just another high risk thrill they are seeking in their altered state. It may not even be to get money for drugs. I am not sure of the age of your friend. If it is a minor the parents can arrange for the rehab. If it is someone over 18 it is so much harder as they are an adult and they can walk away. As for you knowing what you are talking about I so believe you do! You are the one with the clear thought process right now. Your friend is just a shell. You friend is not the same person you are used to dealing with you are actually dealing with the drugs they are using. Thus the reason I say a shell. It looks like them but it is not really them, not the way they  used to be. Please offer to help your friend to seek help. Tell her about things you see online and places she can go to get better. Let her know you love her but that you will not stay around her or come to her home if she is using drugs. I know you say she lost all her friends...I saw this happen with many people. They lose their friends and their families. It affects all those who love them. They cannot see it though. Until she sees and feels that her behavior/lifstyle is dangerous she is not going to stop. I am not saying not to be her friend. Tell her you love her to much to watch her slowly kill herself. Keep on with your life and let her know you can help her get help when she is ready. Do not go off with her or stay around her when she is using...that tells her it is okay. Take care of you. You are a good person and a good friend.
 
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February 17, 2007, 5:39 pm CST

I hear you!

Quote From: pamsarn

These kids do not care who they hurt when it comes time to party. My husband and I raised our daughter with all the love and support a child could ask for. She did competitive gymnastics for  9 yrs and became a state champion and in high School became a competitive cheerleader. I spent every weekend going to meets and taking to practice. Upon entering the 10th grade she turned into someone I do not know. She is now so out of control that our family is in constant crisis. She has been arrested twice for underage drinking and caught numerous times by police and not charged. She steals from anyone in the family and about 80% of what she says is a lie. My middle son said "we need Dr. Phil" and we are going to watch the show this afternoon. The thing that cuts my heart out is that she has no feelings at all about how much pain and suffering she has caused this family. She could care less about having an accident. Her websites disgust and embarrass me. Every night she goes out and parties. She just failed 3 out of the 4 classes she was taking at college and was outraged we would not pay her tuition (she was put on academic probation). I am broken hearted.........and she will not admit that she needs help desperately. To make things worse my in-laws will not stay out of it and bail her out of every situation...thus no consequence....and I love them a lot but, they have over stepped their bounds and I have told them................I stay sick on stomach at what might happen next......:( thanks for listening

I want you to know you are not alone. It is a sad and tough thing to go through. Went through a almost identical situation. Hard for a parent to find good guidance and hard to find someone out there who has gone through the same thing that you feel safe sharing with. It is different to chat with people who know how you feel. First thing I think you should always remember is that you are a good parent. One thing my child told me was to never forget I was a good mom...that even good moms have kids that just change and do the wrong thing. That child has recently died due to the circumstances and those words will stay with me forever. The emotional rollar coaster you are on can make you very sick. It can stress you to a point that you never imagined. Take care of you. Stand up for what you feel is right in terms of your child. The child will be angry with you for standing your ground but you will be able to know that you did not enable the negative behavior. On the other hand down the road the inlaws will have to answer to the fact that they bailed her out of issues and that they enabled her to continue her behavior. They wil have to blame themselves for whatever happens to her due to this negative behavoir in the futre. I know moms do not wanna be the meanie and it is the hardest thing you will ever do...explain to your daughter that you love her and you will get her help but you will not sit and watch her dangerous behavior and slow spiral downward. It is a rough situation. My prayers are with you. Do not give up.

 

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