Messages By: summergirl1

Your mom is right. I know that is hard to swallow! You will fix things or you will end up dead. I know you think I do not know but I do know all to well. Please reach out and take whatever help you can get. Hope the girl that was on first reads these messages. Change your life while you are still capable! Seek the help of people who can lead you in the right direction. We are here for you.

Congrats for her staying clean and staying in the rehab. Select life! It is not easy it is hard, hard work. It is worth it. It only takes one time to overdose and you are dead. I am speaking from experience I have had 2 family members die of overdose. Sad that one of them still has not been able to beat it. (one of the twins) My heart hurts for her. My heart hurts for the family. Hard to talk to people about what is going on in their lives... as when you are that messed up you really have no concept. Hard for the mother to get others to relate to what she is going through. Hard for the family not just the addicts. Wish I could make them understand that the options are stop or lose your life. As a family member who has lost my family to this same addiction would love to have a one on one with the girls. I will pray for their mother first and I will also pray for them. I am no expert, just someone who cares. It is amazing how many everyday straight A students and athletes are involved with heroin that do not fit the regular symptoms. Some of these kids have told me they just did heroin first straight off the top...never any other drug. They tried it they liked it they were hooked immediately. We need to do more to support the families and we certainly do not know the answer to caring for these addicts. Relapse is huge. I am no longer on that roller coaster as my people are gone...they are dead. I onlky wish somehow I could touch others with  my story to help them and their families. Trying to find a way to speak out and share with others with the hopes of enlightening them or just listening to the families and letting them know they are not alone. Dr. Phil thank you for bringing these things up and out into the public. I know how lonely it is when you as a parent are going through this and you do not know what to do. God bless.

Good Rachael Glad you shared this. Hope the girls read it! They need to hear it from real people that you will die if you keep up this mess. They think it is a bunch of parents and docs trying to tell them what to do. Lets tell it like it is...i also have people who have lost their lives after many rehab attempts. My life will never be the same. Thanks for being honest and sharing. Hope it helps!

No, YOu cannot ground your friend and her mother is enabling her to use...her mother will find that by doing that it is only going to get worse and worse. I am sure she is trying to do the lesser of two evils and keep the girl at home and presumably safe but she is wrong. She will end up going into her daughters bedroom and finding her dead one day. Than she is going to spend the rest of her life mourning her daughters loss and even worse believeing that she may be somewhat responsible as she enabled her and allowed this to happen. Sometimes we have to step up and use that tough love type of parenting as well as friendship. I know it is hard and I know you all feel like you are leaving the addict hanging but believe me this person needs the tough love routine. They need a intervention. They need help. As long as they are being enabled by friends and family they will not hit bottom and get the help. As for the sex with the married men. They will do whatever they need to do to get their drugs. Things you and I would never imagine they would do. And sometimes the sex is just another high risk thrill they are seeking in their altered state. It may not even be to get money for drugs. I am not sure of the age of your friend. If it is a minor the parents can arrange for the rehab. If it is someone over 18 it is so much harder as they are an adult and they can walk away. As for you knowing what you are talking about I so believe you do! You are the one with the clear thought process right now. Your friend is just a shell. You friend is not the same person you are used to dealing with you are actually dealing with the drugs they are using. Thus the reason I say a shell. It looks like them but it is not really them, not the way they  used to be. Please offer to help your friend to seek help. Tell her about things you see online and places she can go to get better. Let her know you love her but that you will not stay around her or come to her home if she is using drugs. I know you say she lost all her friends...I saw this happen with many people. They lose their friends and their families. It affects all those who love them. They cannot see it though. Until she sees and feels that her behavior/lifstyle is dangerous she is not going to stop. I am not saying not to be her friend. Tell her you love her to much to watch her slowly kill herself. Keep on with your life and let her know you can help her get help when she is ready. Do not go off with her or stay around her when she is using...that tells her it is okay. Take care of you. You are a good person and a good friend.