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Messages By: moonshine

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frustrated
October 11, 2005, 11:30 am CDT

"Cry Baby " Son

I have an 11 year son who cries whenever he is frustrated.  I've tried telling him that it is not appropriate behavior for his age but that hasn't worked.  I've taken toys, etc from him and that doesn't work.  He seems to think he is going to get in trouble if he is messing up.  My husband is a non-rule bender and his expectations are quite high for the kids.  A little history, he has a medical problem which prevented him from growing properly and was quite small for his age.  During that time, every one treated him like he was younger than he was and he would cry to get what he wanted.  Now that the medical end is being treated he still cries.  Anyone have any suggestions to get him to mature so that he doesn't do this?  I'm open for anything at this point. 
 
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October 12, 2005, 1:36 pm CDT

Cry Baby Son

 

  I need some general advice about my 11 yr old son.  He cries when he gets frustrated.  I don't think this is appropriate behavior at his age.  He has a medical problem that makes him small for his age -some people treat him younger than he is-but we are treating that with medication.  I'm not sure how to help him mature so that he won't do this.  I've tried to get him to laugh or take a deep breath but all of this seems to make it worse.  My next step is to ignore the behavior like I did when he would throw a temper tantrum.  I kind of feel like he is doing this now.  Any suggestions any one?  I certainly am open to them.  Thanks a bunch. 

 
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October 12, 2005, 1:47 pm CDT

Doormat Daughter

Quote From: cheer_mama

My daughter has just turned 18, and has had the same boyfriend for about 3 years.  My problem is that he treats her like a doormat and she lets him.  I didn't raise her to be this way, and to my knowledge there isn't anyone in my family that way, we all are very strong women!  I just don't know how to handle this. 

 

I know if I say she can't see him anymore, it could make it worse...she could just run off and marry him, she can run off with him and there isn't anything that I could do about it!  She is a great girl, and has alot of dreams, but I am afraid that he will try and hold her back from those dreams! 

 

She will wait around for him to call her, she will always go to any family function that his family is having, but he will never come to any of her families functions.  She is a cheerleader and it has been a big part of her life the hole time they have been together, I think he has been to about 3 ballgames over the past three years.  He tries to tell her how to dress, before she was with him she would wear shorts all summer, now the only time she will wear shorts is in the house at home, she says it is because she doesn't fill comfortable, but in my heart of hearts I know he has told her he doesn't want her wearing them.  These are just a few examples, but I just don't know what to do! 

  

I am so afraid she will give up on all her dreams because he has already said he doesn't want her to go to college, I don't think he has ever hit her I don't have any reason to say that but I do think he is verbally and mentally abusive to her to a certain extent.  She has to call him before she goes anywhere and as soon as she gets home she calls him!  Dr. Phil or someone here I need HELP!  I don't know what to do!  And I can't stand the thought of looseing my daughter to a man (boy) that is going to treat her this way! 



PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 

 

 He is abusing her is the worst way.  Get her some professional counseling to help her see what he is doing.  Not only will the counseling help her deal with the abuse but it will also help find out why she feels like  she needs him so much.  Maybe some where along the way, some one said something to her that made her feel unloved or ugly but she feels like he is fulfilling a need.  Another  way that you may be able to help is for both of you to volunteer at a local shelter for abused women.  She might see that what her boy friend is doing is abuse.   This is a way for you to help her with out her knowing what you are doing.     I married a guy like this and the abuse went from mental and verbal to physical.  Luckily I was able to get out of the marriage before I had any kids.  Also contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline  1-800-799-7233.  They'll be able to help you help her.  Just don't push too hard you the risk loosing her if you do.  Good luck.
 

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