Messages By: faith2718

 me and my boyfriends have been together for over a year now, were engaged and gettin married after the first of the year. I have one problem though. I dated this guy 2 yrs ago, some things happened in his life that at the time our relationship couldnt work. Here we are over 2 yrs later and the feelings for each other are still there. Hes married now with a baby due anyday and im bout to be married, yet we feel like we are stuck in the same boat. Were as if either of us makes a move the boat will tip over.  I love my boyfriend now, my ex loves his wife but we still want to be with each other. I'm confusses and stressed..we are both closer in age yet with people way younger then us. What do i do??

 OK, me & my fiance just got done fighting over this, now i need so different veiws. We got our apt in July '05 since then on and off his good friend has been staying here sleeping on the couch. He came over new yrs eve, and has only been back hm 2 times to get fresh clothes. Heres the problem...hes 19, and has no job. My take is, hes 19, he sleeps on our couch, watches our cable, eats our food and uses our internet...of which we pay for, not him! He just recently started helping around the house, therefore my finace isnt as hard on him now. *confused* Before my finace told him we cant afford to feed him anymore, yet we still do. Has told him he needs to get a job, and has spent not even a full day looking for one. Now my fiance is telling me how good his freind has been to him in the past and how his friend is actually saving us money. My finace gave his truck back, so there we save about $200/month and $300/month on daycare. Yet we have one car, which he can use bc i work nites now to stay home with my daughter therefore he doesnt watch her. He watched her for a few wks a while back..for FREE, i called it payback for me letting you basically live off me. Am i wrong??? Then my fiance tell me, that were helping him in his time of need!!! What need??? Hes a lazy 19 yr who doesnt want to work. Come on! But he tells me all guys go throught this phase in life after high school...not all guys! Then he has the odassity, to tell me that maybe were taking advantage of his friend! Bc hell watch our daugher sometimes. I'm like, are we even living in the same apt??? Now if he just lost a job or his home, then yeah id understand, but he hasnt. Hell sleep til 11, 12, 1pm then get up stay on the couch, watch tv and play on the computer. My finace is making me feel like the bad guy here, when im not. Were struggling right now bc of the extra money that were dishing out while his friend is here. My fiance will tell him one thing then go back on...hell say one thing to make me happy then turn around and take it back like hes trying to make his friend happy. Now he tells me to kick him out bc obviously he cant do it. Am i the bad guy here? Or am i right in what i say?

I'm 25, married and 7 months pregnant w/ my 2nd daughter! I made a mistake a month ago and bc of it my husband wants a divorce. I didnt cheat nor lie..what i did, is forgivable. I'm scared to be on my own with 2 small children. I'll be the only one here with them basically 24/7...no help what so ever!!! I've tried talkin but he wont have anything to do with it. He spends all his time online talkin to other women and if its the weekend hes not here, which again leave me with my daughter and no help.  My husband promised we would make it and that he wouldnt do me like other men have in the past...and look, he is! My oldest daughter is his step daughter but hes always been there, so hes her daddy.  I feel like things got a lil hard and its always easier to give up and walk away then it is to work it out.  I dont know what to do...I dont knnow how i will manage a FT job, 2 small kids, and a home and still keep my sanity! How can men go through something like this and not show emotion??? I dont get it!!!!

 

Any advice?!!??

Ok..last yr at this time my husband and I seperated. Three months after having my 2nd daughter my kids and I left. Our divorce was underway and everything in life was good...we made a mutal agreement that we could move on with our lives...so I did!! He didn't want me, he left me, he kicked me out without a care in the world as to where my kids and I would go. I ended up meeting someone...he was truly amazing, my dream come true...but he walked away so my husband and I could try to be a family yet again! So after weeks of talking and everything we decided to try again..for us and the kids. First few weeks were great...we did things as a family...he showed how into everything he was then it all changed. He went back to the way he use to be. It's been 2 months now...and in these last 2 months hes been home a total of 2 weekends! I want him here more, I want us to be a family and go out and do things together. With and without the kids. I know he has a hard job..but I work FT as well...and when I'm not working I'm taking care of the kids, the house, the dishes, laundry etc...alls I want is just a little bit of help from him. He wanted us back together...I'm here with my kids every weekend without him. He says he has to work every single weekend bc he doesn't have a choice. He didn't start working every single weekend until we got back together. I tell him how I feel as he just sits there and say he understands. Thats great, but I want him to do something about it. The other guy I had been dating has told me that what he has to offer me and my kids will always be there..he might move on with his life, but his love for me and the life he wanted with will always be.  My husband comes home from work, and sit online looking up things and talking to other women near or far...why can't he come home and talk to me? He can come home and sit online and start talking, yet won't even tell me hi when he walks through the door.

 

What else can I do...to make him see that me and the kids should come first??