Messages By: cgsmomof3

your son sounds exactly like mine--i just can not understand why it doesn't bother him either. 

he would be embarrassed if any of his friends were to find out, and i would never want to embarrass him.  but unless i remind him, he won't change his sheets and will leave it wet until i tell him to take care of it.  sometimes i feel like he may be doing it for attention from me, because he knows it really makes me mad.  so i decided that i'm not going to be mad about it anymore--but it's also not going to be my problem.  just like you, i've tried medication, alarms, nothing works.  sometimes i will wake him up a couple of hours after he went to bed to make him get up and go to the bathroom, and it becomes real obvious that he's just too lazy to go to the bathroom before he goes to bed.  he's taken laziness to a whole new level.  like i said, i quit getting mad about it, if he wants to be too lazy to use the bathroom, then he gets to change all his sheets, put them in the washer then the dryer, spray febreze on his bed and put new sheets on.  Over time, he seems to be getting tired of all the extra work and my plan seems to be paying off, he only is wet maybe once a week or so  now.  also, if he leaves without taking care of his sheets, he will be grounded from everything that day when he gets home from school--no going outside, no tv,stereo,playstation, or phone.  so now he realizes he's just hurting himself not trying to prevent this problem.  give it a try--it worked for me.  i find it less stressful to make them "own" their problem, instead of me being worked up about it all the time.   good luck!!   

You just really need to make her understand that you're the boss and she isn't.  I always tell my kids when they grow up and have their own kids---that's when it's their turn to be the boss.  Certain things, for instance putting on her shoes to go to school , just have to be done.  period.  she needs to understand that it's not open for discussion.  things will run alot smoother, once she is positive without a doubt, who is in charge.    

i'm happy to say that my youngest is 9, but what i always found when they were toddlers is:  if they scream and get what they want, they're going to keep screaming.  i know it's really hard, but do not give them anything they want until they are acting how you want them to act.  then they'll know that when they act the way mommy wants, they get what they want.  it will probably take a little time though for them to figure this out---hang in there!! 

just a little trick that worked for me---when my kids were young, maybe 4-5 yrs old, they also thought it was "free time"  when i was on the phone, in other words they were free to do whatever they pleased---they thought. well, after this going on for awhile, i began making them all sit on the couch quietly while i was on the phone.   as soon as it rang, i made them get on the couch and be quiet and explained to them it was because they acted crazy everytime i was on the phone. after doing this for about a week, we had a talk about how they should behave when i'm on the phone and if they could do this, they wouldn't have to sit on the couch anymore.  i had very few problems after that, because noone wanted to sit on the couch doing nothing.  so it worked pretty well.  

maybe, this will help will at least this problem.  another thing, you really want to demand that your daughter be respectful toward you as her mother, just a thought---she's going to be a teenager someday.  it's much easier to control her when she's 8 than when she's 14/15.    

i have 3 boys, 2 of which have the same father and he sounds alot like your son's father.  It's easy to feel that if he isn't supporting the child, then he doesn't deserve to see him.  I felt that way for a long time but i have always allowed my boys to see their dad whenever possible.  I didn't want them to grow up and feel like i kept them from having a relationship from him.  He's never really been an active part of their lives, even though he's had every opportunity and now that they're older (9&13) they realize exactly how he is, without me ever telling them.  I knew they'd find out for themselves. 

since your son has never met his dad, my advice would be to have him spend time with your son at your house, or the 3 of you could do something together.  i wouldn't send him alone with someone who is a complete stranger to him, especially at his age.  then as he gets to know his dad, over a period of time, then he could spend time alone with him.  i would just make sure that he's comfortable with it.  i'd look at it in a positive way--seems like he's trying to get back into his son's life and making an effort. and i'm sure your son would love to get to know his brother too.  just take it slow---good luck!!