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Messages By: aderyn3

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October 12, 2005, 9:11 am CDT

my view on things

I missed the whole breastfeeding thing on the show.  I didn't breastfeed my first 2 because I was uncomfortable with my body and just didn't want to.  My third, I wanted to, but I take a thyroid medication and was concerned about passing it to him.  If I have another child, I definately want to breastfeed and will take all measures I can to do so.  Personally, I don't know if I would breastfeed in public just anywhere.  I am still very self conscious.   

  

The main thing I wanted to respond to was the lack of parenting many people seem to have.  The guest that was offened with people discipling her children really made me angry.  If she cannot control her children, she should definitely not be pregnant again!!  It appalls me when parents let their children run around stores, parking lots, restaurants, and the like.  There is a time and a place for everything.  When my husband go out the 3 or 4 times a YEAR by ourselves, the last thing we want to do is listen to someone's kid screaming and kicking the back of our seats or running past our table knocking things down at a nice restaurant.  If children cannot behave, they should not be there.  No, that does not mean you have to stay locked in your house all the time, but take the kids to appropriate places.  McDonald's, Chuckee Cheese, Friendly's, Applebee's, family restaurants, great.  I have 3 kids.  My kids are 4, 2, and 1.  My kids don't run around stores.  If they disrupt someone, certainly they should be disciplined!!  I yelled at some kids at the wading pool this summer.  Approximately 25+ kids from a family reunion "supervised" by about 5 aunts/uncles were running around like nuts with clothes on, and the babies didn't have swim diapers on.   The girl from the Parks department was too busy talking to her boyfriend, the aunts were too busy gossiping and SMOKING at the edge of the pool.   2 children who were old enough to read the signs were running full speed around the outside of the pool (by this time, I was packing up my kids before they got hurt).  I was getting the baby into his stroller and putting our things in it.  My middle daughter was standing at the edge of the concrete surround of the pool.  The 2 kids made 1 lap, right past the parks department worker, all of the adults, and almost plowed into my 2 year old.  She fell and scraped up her legs and hands trying to get out of the way.  When they were making their second lap around, I stood in front of them, told them to stop running because they're going to hurt someone else, and I told whoever was supposed to be watching them what they did because one of them ran and tattled, on me, an adult!!  The aunt expected me to wait, holding a crying 2 year old, not to mention all of our stuff, so she could try to track him down to apologize.  She practically ordered me to wait.  I told her I needed to get my babies home.  It is a COMPLETE lack of respect.  Parents don't respect other people, and they are not teaching their kids to do it.  I was run into by 2 kids at the grocery store, directly in the stomach, when I was 9 months pregnant with my youngest.  They were running all over the place, and their parents were not even watching them.  They were about 2 and 3 years old, if that.  Every aisle, unfortunately they seemed to be at the end waiting, and finally the kids ran into me.  It is these same people who can't believe how someone could "hit their kids with a car" when they were the ones letting them run around not watching them.  What if they would have fallen at the store and hurt themselves on the hard floor or displays?  The store would have been held liable for the injury, not the parents!!  There was a debate similar to this on a parenting website I frequent, and someone had the audacity to advise another mother who was concerned about her toddler that didn't sit still through meals in public that most people would pity her and even find it cute that her child was screaming in the restaurant.  No one I know, with no kids or 10, would condone that type of behavior, especially not as something "cute"!    It is that lack of respect that has turned out the disrespectful and rude children that seem to populate the US today.  Maybe if people actually parented their children a little more often instead of just letting their kids do what they feel like and trying to be their best friends, then we wouldn't have to worry about the condoms in school issue?  I love my children dearly, we have fun, we go to the park, we do crafts, we play games and with their toys, but they know the appropriate way to act, and if the don't, they know they get disciplined for it.  My oldest knows if she doesn't behave, she gets it taken away, she doesn't get to go again, etc.  As a matter of fact, one of the parks department workers at the wading pool yelled at her one day because she was running, and I had told her to stop.  She didn't want to, so I packed up the babies and we left.  She tried to run, and the parks lady stood in front of her and told her to listen to her mother.  Not only was I not offened, I was thankful for it.  I was also embarassed for myself that someone should have to discipline my child, not angry that it had happened.  Ever since then, she hasn't run again, and when it's time to go, she knows it's time to go and goes peacefully, or she doesn't get to go again.   

 
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October 12, 2005, 9:50 am CDT

Hang in there!

Quote From: stystrong

I am 21 years old and have a 17 month old daughter; also, I am 5 months pregnant.  Those factors alone  are enough to have my nerves all frazzeled, but then add the stress of being a college student, having a job, being a rocky newlywed, and fighting with family because they don't approve of my husband.  My mother, father and four siblings do not want to even see my husband; he doesn't want to be around them either.  There have even been physical altercations.  Please somebody, help me.  I feel so trapped and that everything is spiraling horrible out of control. 
I feel for you!!  It is tough being a young mother, especially with the added stress of family conflict!  My husband and I were married at 21.  We have an almost 5 year old, a 2 year old, and a 1 year old.  I just turned 25.  The babies are 11 months apart to the day.  Right after we got married (we were staying with my parents) my parents divorced after 30 years of marriage.  My dad moved out, and we have little contact with him (my choice as well as my husband's.....he can't stand my dad.)  We have a great relationship with my mom (we've been in our own home for almost 4 years now).  My extended family is a different story.  My husband's upbringing was very different than mine, and he just doesn't like the way my family seems to act, in his point of view.  He thinks they are all fake, and I agree somewhat, but I still love them and want to do things, and he just doesn't normally go.  One of my cousins, who is one of my best friends, won't come over with her husband anymore because they don't agree with our parenting style.  They don't have any children of their own yet.  That is painful, but if that is their decision, so be it.  You know what is best for your children.  Just try to take it 1 day at a time, and don't stress yourself.  It's not good for your daughter or the baby you're carrying.  It does get easier, and things will work out.  Your family and husband should not put you in the middle of the issues they have.  If you love him and want to be with him, it is your choice to make and if they can't respect and accept your decision, it is their problem.  (as long as he treats you and your kids good!!)  Good luck and hang in there!!
 
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October 12, 2005, 10:11 am CDT

New baby brother

When I had my baby, my oldest (about 3 1/2 at the time) was watching me change his diaper for the first time, and she (having only a baby sister before him) said "Mommy, why does he have a finger coming out of his butt?"  Needless to say, that went in both of their baby books!!  Out of the mouths of babes.........(now almost 5, 2, and 1). 
 

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