Messages By: della_anne

I am now 26 years old and feel that the overprotectiveness of my parents have done more more harm than good in the long run.  

  

I have a little bit of a different situation than most people. All throughout childhood, I had a heart problem that required heart surgeries. My parents were always overprotective of me because of this. Not only that, but my parents are critical. I couldn't  participate in sports in high school, I couldn't go away to college.... I have learned to fear the world and the people in it. I have always overheard my parents talking about how bad the world is and how you can't trust anybody.  

  

I still live with my parents and it sucks. I can't grow up. I feel that my parents did not allow me to make the mistakes I needed to in my own life to learn from them and  feel good about the choices I am making now. My self esteem is hurting. I can't feel good about the choices I make and I fear criticism and rejection. 

After a certain age, you have to let your children go.   

  

email me at della_anne@yahoo.com 

I am currently experiencing problems with anxiety at work because I still live with my parents. I also have a chonic illness which probably have some effect on the anxiety I am experiencing also.  I never feel that I 'fit in'. I have a hard time trusting people and opening up to them.  I rarely tell coworkers anything about my personal life.  I wish the anxiety would stop. If I could just open up more to people them things would get better.  

My parents are overprotective and critical of me, partially because of my illness.  I can't stand the fact of someone at work criticising me or judging me or even worse rejecting me. I fear criticism and rejection so much that I do not open up to coworkers.  I often wonder if there is hope for me. A chance to get away from the criticism and the rejection....someone to replace the criticism with praise and the rejection with acceptance.   

This has really ruined my self esteem and its really hard for me to feel good about myself on a day to day basis. I feel like I cannot go on like this anymore. I have to fix the problem.  

Is there anyone out there who has had this similar problem? 

If so I would love to hear from you, feel free to email me at della_anne@yahoo.com 

  

I am tired of being single. The worst thing that I could imagine that would happen to me is to be alone especially during the difficult times in my life.   

I have trouble trusting people and opening up to them. How can i change that? 

  

Help!!! 

  

Feel free to email me with advice or suggestions  at della_anne@yahoo.com 

I think that I have a fear of intimacy, of being in a relationship and opening up. I feel very vulnerable when I am around guys. Is this normal or is this just me? I have never had a boyfriend...I have a 'not normal' childhood ( I have a history of heart problems and have had 4 open heart surgeries). I am now 26 years old.I wonder if my past ( health problems) is keeping me from opening up to guys and the possibility of dating and relationships. Its more of an emotional problem here. I have problems trusting, initiating conversations and expressing emotions to guys. 

Is this normal or am I having emotional problems? 

  

Please help, I don't want to be alone forever. 

  

Feel free to email me at della_anne@yahoo.com 

I have a demanding job...I go all day long, letting my boss know where files are, replying to emails, entering orders, making changes on orders, verifying orders with salesmen. Its busy and there are lost of interruptions. I eventually get the work done but by the end of the day I feel like a chicken with its head cut off. Too much at once, I am wondering if I would be more comfortable in a less busy and friendlier work environment.  On top of stress at work I am also deal with stress from my parents because i still live with them. I am trying to find a position where I feel a level of comfort where I can wake up each day and actually not dread going to work.  Is that possible? What do you guys think? Is it worth it for me to look for a new job? Or would I just be setting myself up for another dissappointment by looking for a new job that may or may not be a job that I am comfortable in. Any words of wisdom? Thanks!!!

I have a fear of people, I have a fear of criticism and judgement. I also fear my own emotions, I am a fearful mess....how can I stop this? I am single and live with my parents which I am sure doesn't help the situation at all. Of couse my parents are part of the problem. And well being single is another probelm. I just want to be able to feel good about myself and what I am doing on a day to day basis is that possible? For a long time now I have thought that it is not possible. Its hopeless. Too many outside forces affecting me. I am way to sensitive emotionally. I've tried a lot fo things to change thsi and they help  but I am never totally over it. I'm on Lexapro right now to help with the anxiety. It hasn't kicked in yet. I hope this works cause if it doesn't I'll be doomed forever.  

Do any of you have similar problems? 

  

email me at della_anne@yahoo.com 

  

  

 I can't keep a job and it seems to be because of my anxiety, I am too afraid to make mistakes at work. I'm afraid of people at work and what they will think of me. I don't know how I can keep a job and I really need to. I still live with my parents, the jobs I have previously had were jobs with large workloads and deadlines. Maybe I just need a job with less stress? I am on Lexapro, which doesn't seem to be working. I joined a Toastmasters group. I don't know what else to do to invest in a future for myself. Part of the problem is I don't know who I am, so anxiety persists, and living with my parents doens't help me to figure out who I am and especially how I feel about myself and the world around me. Sometimes I feel as if I don't feel, as if i am totally closed off to the world. Disconnected, never again to feel close to who I am or to the people around me. Sad to say, I kind of feel doomed. Any suggestions or words of encouragement are greatly appreciated. Email me at della_anne@yahoo.com

Just wondering is anyone has any information on this or have experienced this firsthand themselves....Can depressed people such as relatives you are living with (ie parents) cause you to get depressed also? What effect do they truely have on you? I live with my parents and I think being around them is causing me to feel their negative emotions all the time...how can I escape that? 

  

  

  

Thanks,  

  

Danielle  

Hello everyone,

 

I am definitely a person who hides there authentic self....most of the time. And that makes my life stressful. Most of the time I react to people and situations with fear. Fear of judgement, criticism, non-acceptance. This makes me feel very alone. How can I get relief from this lonliness? Lonliness causes me stress. I could be in a room full of people and still feel alone because I have a hard time opening up, to letting people know who I really am. It's scary to let go. I joined a public speaking group to try to get me to open up more. It's helping but I feel like I still have a long way to go.

How can I be more authenic and feel 'safe'? Each day goes by and I feel like I am losing myself more and more and become lonlier and lonlier.  I can't go on like this anymore.

Living with my parents doesn't help. Living with parents makes me hide my authentic self.

I feel trapped. What's the point in continuing to live. The fear needs to go away. Its hard to make new friends. When you work full time, when do you have time to create and maintain deep fulfilling relationships?

Relationships are important in life. I don't want to be alone forever.

How can I fix this?

 

Danielle

 

Just wondering,does anyone know if it  is possible that a lack of sex or sexual fustration can cause anxiety and depression in a person? and if so then does that mean that sex is a necessity for that persons mental and emotional health? Email me here or at della_anne@yahoo.com.