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Messages By: abirney

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frustrated
October 12, 2005, 6:16 pm CDT

Is he a dad or a baby-siitter

I became a wife in August of 04 and then found out I was pregnant four months later and Noah was born in August of 05.  I love this little guy with all of my heart, but he has completely changed my life. In one year I became somebody's wife and someone elses mother.  This has been a really hard transition for me.  We are the first in our group of friends to have a baby so I really have no one to talk to.  When I get stressed out  I feel guilty.  I am used to working full time, but I have been off work for three months and have three weeks to go.  I feel guilty because I am almost looking forward to getting back to work just so I can be me again.  I love my child and would not trade him for anything, but I have found I that I am beginning to resent my husband because he has been able to keep some normalcy in his life.  He returned back to work after only a week at home, during which time he came and went as he pleased leaving me and the baby at home alone.  He is a very loving husband and father, but it seemed to me that this wasn't nearly the change for him that is was for me.  He comes home from work and lets me know he is going to spend the evening playing golf.  He doesn't have to worry that his son will not be taken care of. However, if I want to go have dinner with friends, I have to check with him and make sure he can "babysit"  this is the double standard I cannot understand.  I have had to come home before even making it to the restaurant because my husband couldn't get him to quit crying.  I had only been gone for fifteen minutes and the baby was asleep when I left.  I asked him who he thought I called when I couldn't get him to quit crying.  I think that helped him understand a little bit better why I was a little stressed at the end of the day when he got home.  Don't get me wrong I feel blessed because I get to spend special moments with our son that my husband misses and I wouldn't trade those, but why is it that dads are so quick to show off their children, but do little to actually help take care of them.  When do they become equal care-givers instead of baby sitters?
 

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