Messages By: ladypawn

  I am a mother of seven children.  Three of whom are under the age of 7.  I keep seeing the word spirited used a lot here and Im wondering if maybe out of control is a better term to use in my situation rather than spirited. 

My boys are 5 and 6 years old and on a daily basis I listen to them throw temper tantrums, fight with each other, cry, sometimes use foul language..etc.. the list goes on. 

There seems to be nothing that phases them at all in the least to motivate them to stop the bad behaviour and get better.  Seems like they dont want to learn. 

When they dont get what they want.. they throw a fit.. we are talking about a MAJOR fit.  There is always screaming, and sometimes fighting.  Sometimes I dont tell them no because Im not in the  mood to hear the sceaming about it.  I know this isnt the appropriate thing to do and will only make matters worse.. but Im at my wits end with this and dont know what else to do. 

Here are a few things Ive tried... time outs.. spanking...taking toys..taking tv..writing. 

Nothing works. 

NOthing phases them. 

There seems to be a lot of competition amongst them so much to the point that they take it to a physical level at times. 

I dont want to yell at them.. but sometimes it seems as if that is all they want me to do.  Im tired of not being able to open my windows in the house for fear that someone will hear the yelling and the crying and think the worse of me and the children. 

I love them with all my heart and I only want the best for them. 

Any suggestions would be wonderful. 

thanks in advance.. 

ladypawn 

  Is twenty years old too old of a girl for my daughter of 16 to want to "hang out" with? 

I think so.. now.. how do I tell her that. 

She gets all ticked off at me when I tell her that she is too  old for her to be hanging with.  This girl is married with two kids and one more on the way.  She got pregnentt in her early teens obviously, and I think the influence is terrible.  She doesnt do drugs.. or anything like that.. but I feel as if her lifestyle of being pregnent in her teens and now being married looks too easy for my daughter to be deterred from doing the same thing. 

My daughter wants to babysit for her and sometimes I let her.. but. Im not comfortable letting her do that either. 

There isnt any supervision when she is there.. its whatever my daughter wants to do. 

I dont like it.. now how do I tell her that? 

ladypawn 

  Ive talked to her calmly and like an adult speaking to a young adult and explained to her all my fears and she basically blows them off and goes balistic on me.  Its almost like shes addicted to hanging out with this girl. 

Then she wears me down like an eraser trying to get me to let her go to her house days after I already told her no more.   Im just getting a little bit discoaraged and tired of the lack of respect she has for  my decisions about this girl. 

ladypawn 

  I get on a daily basis told not to talk to them.. by them.. tougues being stuck out at me.. told im stupid.. told they arent talking to me.etc... 

My husband goes on the "reason with them" philosophy, where I go on the put them in their room when they cant control themselves or sit them in a chair and at last resort.. spank them.  I do talk to them.. but sometimes talking is just not the thing to do when you have extreme situations like that. 

ladypawn