Messages By: jhollow36

my son just turned 2 last month. he is very good about pooping on the potty (faithfully), but the pee pee is the problem, usually it is the other way around!!! he has been pooping on the potty for about 4 months now, but last week i really decided to buckle down on the pee problem, he was really good for the whole week with almost no accidents,i took away the pull-ups and diapers (except at night) and he wears really undies now. like i said, he was really good last week, but this week he absolutely does not want to go on the potty. i used the sticker technique and the calling people to tell them technique, but he is over that.  he will pee in his pants and deny that he did and run away when i ask if he went pee pee in them, he will get really upset and yell or try to turn me around so i can't see (i don't make it a big deal, just remind him that he needs to go in the potty and tell me when he needs to go) then when i try to change them his fit gets even worse, i have even tried just leaving them on him wet until he is ready to change them, but he doesn't want to-ever!  i am so confused. why did he do ssooo good last week with almost now accidents even to speak of and now he absolutely refuses to use the potty except to poop?? any suggestion or comments? 

my 2 year son is pretty much doing the same thing. we had him almost potty trained about 4-5 months ago, but we went on a 2 week trip and it all went out the window except the pooping part. his is still pooping on the potty, will stop anything that he is doing to go, but a refuses to pee in the potty. last week i tried to buckle down and get it done, he was really good again, but this week there are tantrums and refusing to go near the toilet at all. he won't let me change his pants when they are wet, but like your daughter, it is almost a game to them. just know that your not alone, obviously!!! good luck!

i have a problem with my mother-in-law with the pacifier, gum, candy, you name it! i know that it is really hard to do and might cause some problems for a short time, but i think that you should tell your m-i-l to step back and let you decide what you want for your child. reading all the other comments, in alot of them, it says that if you  make it a big deal or make it a negative/bad experience, the child will connect the negative emotions, etc. with the potty training. maybe just put it on hold for a couple more weeks/months to let your child forget the negativity associated with it for the time being and try again when you think that she is ready and when your in-laws aren't forcing her to do something that she has to learn and want to do on her own. 

  

maybe while you are trying to potty train her, don't let your in-laws around her for that week or couple of weeks so she doesn't feel pushed by them.  

  

also, i read that she is putting on the pull-ups for her, i found that pull-ups didn't work at all, in fact when i put them on my son, he just called it his big-boy diaper, so we are trying just big boy underwear. i am having problems potty training as well, so good luck with it!! 

i read your saddening story about the many babies that you have lost. i have an aunt-in-law that has had that same problems. she was able to carry her first 2 children to full term, 1 being a placenta-previa baby and one fortunately is now 38 years old, but she did have 6 other miscarraiges after. apparantely her doctors have confirmed that it is a blood disease that she has. i am not sure the name of it, but her body actually attacks that baby as a foreign and unwanted object, resulting in a miscarraige. i am hopeful for you that you don't have this situation or blood disease, but i thought that maybe you could get a few more anwsers since you say that you don't know why this is happening.  

my heart goes out to you and you are in my prayers that you find a positive answer to the awful situation that you are in. i hope i didn't make things worse, i just wanted to help you find some answers. i am sorry that i don't know the name of it, but at least you might be able to look it up on the computer or ask your doctors about this a disease of this type.  

bless you... 

hi, i just read your letter. it almost sounds like you think that just because the other is already potty trained that your daughter should be too. my son is finally just starting to get the hang of it, he just turned 2 but i have a friend that her son is 3 1/2 and will sometimes, but most of the time would rather not. he doesn't care if his pants are wet and will scream and throw a fit if they are poopy, like he would rather wear them that way.  

    out of  the research that i have done, says that most kids aren't ready until 2 1/2 to 3 years. if she shows absolutely no sign of it, i would cool it for a few weeks and then start up again with an entirely differant strategy. i am just saying what worked for me.  

     we had to lay off for about two weeks to let him and myself and my husband calm down (i know how frustrating it is) and just not even think about it. then i went and got 2 small food storage containers, filled them with candy and he helped me decorate them with stickers and puffy paint. i told him that these were his "special candy jars" and that everytime he went potty in the potty he would get a piece of candy, if he had and accident and didn't tell me, then he would not, and even if he had an accident but just told me too late he would, for the effort of letting me know. if he did have an accident and was just too busy to tell me i would say maybe next time (cheerfully), never acting upset, frustrated, or irritated with it.  

     it has been about 3-4 weeks and he tells me all the time, just a little late sometimes. you know how busy kids get!!! anyway, some people say that this is "bribing" my child, i look at it as an award system. he does something positive and he gets a positive thing for it. morinngs and nightime are a little tricky. who do you know wants to give their child a reeses buttercup right before bed?  i did it anyway and it really never even affected him, just be sure that he brushes his teeth before bed and even if he eats it afterward, i made him rinse his month out with water before he laid down. 

    i would say that half the time, he doesn't even ask for a candy now when he goes, just flushes, washes, and then we do a little pee-pee dance!!! i did set a time limit for it also, i told him that after Halloween candy is all gone, no more candy for potty. i sure that he doesn't understand that yet, but we will deal with it when it comes next week.  

   i don't want to sould like a know-it-all, i just wanted to suggest things that worked for me, i hope that you have luck soon one way or another with your daughter!!!! 

not one thing that you wrote would make you to blaim.  

although you do say that  you put things on to-do lists and have thought of these things, have you put them into effect or made plans with your wife for some of them.  

like saving the money for the day spa, etc. maybe tell her your plan so she can have something to look forward to.  

i am a stay-home-mom of a 2 1/2 year old boy (also very full of energy and very mommy needy right now) but i am also 8 months pregnant and very tired myself. luckily i take naps (20-30 min) when my son does during the day, but at night we (my husband is pretty good about helping me set limits with him for certain things) are very strict about him getting out of bed. your children seem to be in a patern and know that mommy will be there for them at night and trust me, they will use anything and everything they can to not go or stay in bed!!! some how you guys need to come up with a plan to break the habit of the children waking up for mommy in the night. we watched The Nanny on TV, although i don't agreee with everything, it really helps to have the help layed out in front of you. there is also a show called nanny 911 that has some good advise as well.  

my husband comes home from work, although he doesnt' help clean up much, he usually takes my son outside or for a walk, anything so i can get a few seconds of sain time in without anyone at the house. i look forward to that very much. your wife needs something to look forward too. i totally agree with the last person that responded, routine gets very boring and even deressing.  

  

sometime i don't feel like i have much of a life except dealig with tantrums, watching the same movies over and over, doing laundry, catching some z's as soon as he goes to sleep, or just trying to keep my house at least from looking like a zoo. it's like working for a drunk boss 24-7 with the demands children have (especially at the age of your children) , the job doesn't ever end and i don't get a break from the same thing day in and day out when i leave for work.  maybe schedule a day that you always have off  (since she never does, even in the middle of the night) every week and plan to take the kids somewhere or even just one kid for at least 3-4 hours. to the park, to your families house to visit, to the arcade, to a friends house that has kids for them to play with. she needs a break or she is going to break!!!!!  

  

I don't know how you or your wife feel about prescrition drugs, but she may be depressed. the sleepiness and being very unscheduled or unorganized is a major sign of depression. It maybe due postpartum or just depression!!! anyway, i was on prozac about a year and a half after my son was born and boy, did it work wonders!!!! i finally didn't feel tired and mind boggled all the time and i actually began to like my husband again!!! i doesn't last forever if it's postpartum, but she really needs help, has she talk to any doctors for help?