Messages By: eskiers

 Hi, im 17 years old im not officialy diagnosed with anorexia, mainly because I dont think my councilor wants to, that would involove my parents that and I havent lost my period. Im 5'8" and 110lbs and dropping. I rarely eat. Some days Ill have like a granola bar or sometimes I have to end up eating a meal with someone to avoid conflict so I purge It all up afterwards. I really dont know what to do. Everyone notices but noone really .. does anything. (I know I shouldnt expect them to I should deal with it myself) All day long I get comments of how grossly skinny I am or people grabbing my arms and feeling how thin they are or whatever.. its really annoying. Im so stuck in this thing I really dont know what to do. Its been going on for about a year. My theraist is reallly worried and wants my parents to know but i really dont want that.. I dont want any attention from them.. but at the same time I just want some help. Im terrafied of help though and in a sence dont want it.. beucase I still want to lose a lot more and everytime I eat anything I feel huge bloated fat gross. Im just stuck in a hole and noone knows im there. My mom doesnt help.. she makes comments about it but then 2 minutes later will rant about being fat and gross and all her new diets . Bleh Im ranting on about nothing now. Im always tired and weak from it and when I stand I almost pass out. I almost wish someone would send me away to a treatment place and force me to get help.. but no luck there. that makes me sound like Im doing this to be rescued.. but im not. I just know I will never give myself help and cant end this on my own.  anyway.. ya.