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Messages By: tanyab

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October 13, 2005, 1:54 pm PDT

10/13 Cheerleader Scandal

Quote From: rockelle92

Although I feel badly for both families I am filled with anger that Daniel's family is only seeking to avenge thir sons/brothers death.  Maybe nobody will ever know what really happened that night but I believe in Brandi's innocence and her story.  I don't think she meant to kill Daniel and I think Daniel's mother and sister need to move on, let go of the anger and remember how Daniel lived instead of how he died.  What can they honestly get from holding on to the anger and hatred besides living a miserable life.  I believe Brandi has paid for her crime and I think for the rest of her life she will pay for it knowing that she accidently killed someone. 

I agree the best thing for daniel's familly is to let go of the anger for thier sakes, but I disagree and feel her actions that night show anything but innocence and it would be unjust to let her have a lesser sentence just because people want to feel sorry for a young girl doing HER time in prison. If you take a life you must pay for it and paying for it in your head just isn't enough. 

Her familly acn still talk to her, see her and all be it , she isn't living the life her parents wanted for her, she is living her life, which is much more than he will ever do. 

If she was so innocent she would have had no reason to fabricate a different accident to save her own skin. 

 
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October 13, 2005, 2:07 pm PDT

not strange just cold

Quote From: trendydoll

I just finished watching the show and I have to say that I really don't fell sorry for either parties, which can seem a little strange, maybe even detached.  The dead are gone and taken care of, if it had not been Daniel's time to go, the incident could have worked itself out differently.  It's harsh to think that this poor woman has to spend the next 12 years in jail for something that she didn't do, but I believe she should have let the matter go to trial, things may have turned out differently.  But she was young, and we all make mistakes. 

Daniel's mother needs to let go.  I understand her pain, but I have also been in an abusive relationship, and the man I was with was very abusive.  So abusive and manipulative that his family and the police did not believe that he was hurting me.  Maybe there was another side to her son that she was unaware of. 

We have no room to judge, and time heals all wounds.  Most people will watch this show and feed off this girl like hungry wolves.  Some will be angry, others will feel sad, and some, such as myself, will feel no pity.  She will get to see her son someday, no matter what anyone believes, but for now, she must forgive and start living her life, if not for herself, then for Daniel. 

Brandi will have her chance at freedom and I wish her the best along her way.  The world can be a very cold place.  She has enough punishment in her life, and I don't believe that people should be on here condemning something that they know nothing about. 

You may have been a vium of abuse and many of us have been, but until you loose one ofyour own hidren, I hope you never do, you can neve know the pan that will cut through you.
 
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October 13, 2005, 2:24 pm PDT

cheerleader sndal

Quote From: m_upartist

I cannot believe how ignorant and selfish Brandi's parents are. The showed no decency to the fact that this family has lost a child forever, and they attacked his family to no end. They had no right to say that Daniel's mother was not in his life for 5 years....that has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that they are suffering immensely for what their daughter did to their family. 

They got very defensive when his family said that at least they can spend Birthdays with their daughter, and talk to her.....they responded with "NO WE CAN'T!"..........YES THEY CAN!!! In 8 years they can sit down and have a coffee with their daughter everyday if they wanted, while Daniel's will never be able to!!! What don't these IGNORANT people understand about that?????? 

I am immensely disgusted in them and their selfishness....shame on them. Do they not find it a LITTLE suspicious how their daughter was sane enough to drive home and stick a TREE LIMB in the hole in the windshield that was caused upon impact with Daniel...sounds like someone who is guilty to me. I cannot emphasize how angry I am with that family right now, they obviously have never experienced a death of someone very dear to them. 

this was the only message that said what I thought to be the case. I agree this famillies actions are deplorable. I'm sure they would have felt much differntly had the tables been turned and the other familly was talking to them like that. 

 
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October 13, 2005, 3:02 pm PDT

Shame on Brandi's Parents

I could not believe the callase and deplorable behavior of Brandi's parent's. 

They seemed hell bent to attack Daniel's familly. However it went down there is a dead child and I can't help but feel they are refusing to accpt Brandi's responsability in that death. Brandi's mom said herself she believes if you do he crime you must do the time, I guess she doesn't believe this when it pertains t her own daughter. 

They will spend time talking with thier daughter, seeing her, and even her brother said he talks to her every day. This is not a luxury daniel's familly would ever know again. 

What kind of parents are these people because I can't help but feel if the roles where reversed they would feel  the sentence was just. I agree it's  a tragic thing to have such youth locked up, but she isn't dead, and I can't help but feel thier actions will help Daniel's familly hold onto thier anger even longer.Shame on them and thier tunnel visioned bad behaviour. 

I do feel myself that Brandi did herself an injustice by plea bargaining, but I also feel she would have gone away alot longer had she gone to trial. Too many things look bad on her side, it seems as if she was thinking the entire time.She went there instead of talking to her parents who could have gotte restraining orders, pressed charges or any of many solutions. The thing I find to be the worst of all the offences she commited that night was blatantly  hidding it. If she had been truely innocent she would't have hidden it from her  parents but sought thier help with he truth. 

I hope both famillies can find thier way back for thier own sakes because holdng on never helps anyone and niether will live the lives they deserve if they don't but I also  hope Brandi's parents can stop dwelling on the fact that for some years she won't live the life they wanted for her but at least she will live the life she now has due to her actions. She will still be able to have the life they wanted for her when she finishes the time she ows for her actions. She's not the first young person to do time for bad decisions, but the time must be done. 

I hope all the parties involved from both sides can get the help they need to walk into the future and live the lives they are blessed to have. Life is a blessing, no matter what. 

 
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October 19, 2005, 1:47 pm PDT

To be christian is to be christ like

Quote From: a31g49

Why is it so hard for so many on this site to understand that not everyone is a christian and not everyone is a born again christian. 

  

I happen to be Native American and am proud of my heritage-- ethnic and spiritual.  My culture doesn't condem people for living how they are made.  We don't believe we own our children-- meaning we can not chose their path for them-- we can only guide them.   

  

 We have nothing in common with fundamentalist christians when it comes to belief systems.  Many in my community have embraced a spirituality (christianity) which DESTROYED our culture and way of life.  It's a very sad thing.  But I suppose when you are confronted with "Convert or die"  many do choose to accept the conquerers way of life. 

  

So, when you all start going on and on about what your god wants from all people of the earth, all I can do is shake my head at your ignorance.  For isn't that what you do when you are confronted with traditions different from your own? 

  

I believe the Earth is the mother of us all, and that we are destroying our mother.  Can't you hear her screams?  But do I tell you SUV driving, 6000 square foot house living, polluting non-bleievers that you our murdering our mother?  Isn't that more important that who someone loves?  No, I don't.  Not generally, anyway. 

  

My tribe has a cultural history of accepting all among us as brothers and sisters.  Including those who do not fit into traditional gender roles.  Including those who are attracted to those of the same sex.  It's all around us on mother earth.  All mammal species show same sex attraction.  While it is not the norm, it is not unnatural. 

  

You do not get the right, because you call yourself a christian to comdemn people who believe other than you do.  And you sure don't get the right to make the laws that affect us all according to your religion. 

  

You surely do not have the right to impose self-hatred and self-loathing on people being true to their born selves. 

  

I'm so thankful I live in a part of the country where I do not have people like the visitors on this board trying to convert me to their religion. 

  

And all of this judgement day stuff is a little confusing.  I remember that less than 20 years ago, that kind of reasoning was only used by doomsday cultists like Jim Jones or David Koresh.  It's frightening to me how many seemingly sane Americans have fallen into the doomsday cult mentality. 

  

I could really get into the jesus rhetoric if more pople who claimed to be christians quoted the Sermon on the Mount insteas of leviticus. 

  

I am not gay, but I have had the pleasure of knowing many gays, lesbians and transgendered people throughout my lifetime.  I am the richer in spirit for it. 

  

And I almost for got.  For those illogical people who claim that god doesn't make mistakes?  What about people born transgendered?  In  the US, the birth rate of people with ambigous genitalia (intersex) is about 2% of live births.  So those people are not mistakes?  I don't believe they are and according to your logic, you shouldn't, either.  But then that doesn't fit your worldview of two genders and strict gender based societal roles. 

  

I long for the day we all get past out superstitious knee jerk reactions to those who are different.  I am hopeful though.  It was only a little over a hundred years ago that the official US government position on my people was 'the only good indian is a dead indian.' 

  

Maybe someday the attitudes I'm seeing here toward those who are gay/lebian/bisexual/intersex/transgendered are just as abhored by mainstream society. 

  

I might have to do some prostelytizing of my own, if I had to face this type of self-righteousness on a daily basis. 

I am so glad some one else has a problem with the fact that so many on this site seem to act like everyone is a christian. I am also not a christian, I am a pagan and parts of my familly have been druids for as long as Irish ancestors existed. 

Religion should not have to a determining factor as to the validity or worthiness of a persons existance. If god or in my case the gods,(the great spirit), had a problem with gay people he would not have created them. 

Lets not forget, the bible was writen by men, and not God himself. It is also quite apparent that the bible is percieved by pretty much anyone who reads it in the way they choose to see it. You so called chistians who act in a way quite contrary to what I'm lead to believe the bible is says is rightous and good usually call yourself the best christians. 

Maybe its time to reread your bible and hear what Jesus was actually saying and try much harder to love, accept and forgive others who maybe don't live as you choose them to. Remember forgiveness is for your God and not for you as writen in the bible. Wouldn't it be a real eye opener if you got to your pearly gates to find acceptance and christ like behaviour was the true test to get in.  

I can't help but wonder why so many feel the need to treat people so badly just because they were born with different needs and feelings. These can't be reprogramed as Angela's mother stated, and the reason you can't reprogram is because the creator didn't intend for others to undo what he has built and done. 

Lets all try much harder to accept others and not be so quick to judge out of fear. We're all here to dance at this party we call life and even though everyone doesn't have the same drummer, its all the same dance. Time to love others for who they are and not for who they do. If I had been judging people for thier sexuality all my life so many of my friends ,I would have had to turn my back on for being gay, and I would have been the looser for it. 

I only ask that people try to be more like your Jesus and be more understanding and less critical. Let the judgement come from the only one who has that job description,  GOD! 

 
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October 19, 2005, 3:01 pm PDT

10/19 "I'm Gay, OK?"

Quote From: bornagain

 Praise the Lord! I agree with what my brother or sister in the Lord stated here. Christians are not judging,  just loving them as Yeshua/Jesus loves us.  I do not see homosexuality any different from gluttony or unforgiveness.  Sin is Sin in God's eyes and that is why he sent his son to die (and raise from the dead) to pardon us for our sin, if we call on him for salvation.  See Romans 10:9-13 KJV.

http://www.chick.com/information/general/salvation.asp

I think the mother and daughter on today's show expressed sincere Christian love to the other daughter/sister.  I think the gay daughter was more interested in her own agenda than to accept the love from her mom and sister.  Dr. Phil surprised me with opening the door to what happened on this show today;  it gives homosexuals the hope (reality) of change, if they want it.  And choice - everyone likes choice - and God gave us FREE CHOICE. 




  

Who are all the christians to decide gays should change thier ways. God created these people and it seems very presumptuous of you all to think it's your call to decide his decision for thier creation was a sin! 

 
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October 19, 2005, 3:19 pm PDT

10/19 "I'm Gay, OK?"

Quote From: riviera

I think being gay is genetic but not a good thing. I don't think it is normal or should ever be considered normal but a biological defect like mental illness. As so many people say they wouldn't choose it .  

A lot of people have experimented with bi-sexuality in their youth thinking gay sex is ok.  

I think if you are gay "that's nice" but I really don't care what you do in private.  I would like to know why so many married men go to parks to pay for sex with underage boys/ 

Because a person is gay is not to say they are pedophiles, lets not get the two confused. 

Many married men who go on the low down and meet with other men to have sex are a product of society saying they can and should change so they decide early on to supress whats within and obviously you can't supress who you are and not pay a price some where down the road. 

 
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October 19, 2005, 3:31 pm PDT

So a little boy wants to wear high heals

Dr. Phil, I truely do appreciate your show and many times find I can agree with you but today I can't help but say give your head a real good shake. 

If a little boy wants to play with dolls,(I refuse to call them girl toys because we shouldn't be labelling toys any more than we should be labelling jobs), what is he hurting. Many other boys play with dolls but because they portray war mongers every one calls it an action figure and says its O.K.  If you play with GI Joe you are still plying with dolls! 

This childs preferance for these toys will not make him gay I agree but The only persons his choice of toy seems to be affecting are the parents. Mom even stated she is a homophobe and has an ignorance when it comes to the issue of gays. Many grown men who are heterasexual like to dawn womens clothes, this doesn't make them bad people or criminals, so if he likes high heals so what. I bet if Napolean could have worn high heals he would have too. It wouldn't have made him any more gay than he wasn't. 

I think you would have done more good by suggesting that the parents relax and let thier child express himself and not get so hung up in thier own hang ups. If he did end up gay in the future, which I doubt he will, You will have done thier son a injustice for the sake of making mom feel like her hang ups are just fine. 

 
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October 19, 2005, 6:49 pm PDT

10/19 "I'm Gay, OK?"

Quote From: dbeland

God doesn't hate the gays he hates the act that they engage in the same way he hates any sex before marriage.Lets look at the word orientation for a moment ..what does it mean.If someone says they have an orientation to go to, it means they are going to a class to learn something. Can someone tell me then how the words (sexual orientation) applies to a decision someone made.
what God do you worship that he hates. I thought God was supposed to be about love unconditional.
 
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October 19, 2005, 7:50 pm PDT

10/19 "I'm Gay, OK?"

Quote From: oet_gaol

It might be my Dutch view but I'm thinking that this whole discussing is nonsense. Who cares if their son or daughter is gay he or she will be just as happy as any straight person. And even if you want your son/daughter to be straight you shouldn't seek "help." You wouldn't seek help if he or she wanted to become a mecanic while you want him/her to be docter? (though I'm not suggesting being gay/bisexual is a choice) 

  

If your son or daughter tells you he/she is gay let het celebrate that and join in yourself aswell because they have found their true identity. 

  

And what sicko ever said every gay person schould have a trauma? I know of enough gay's which dont have a trauma. 

  

And another thing why do you supress gay's with things liken no gay marrige and religion? WHAT ARE YOU ALL AFRAID OF? 

  

Besides why do you hide behind religion to condem gay's? Religion can change to match the current world, because if religion was a static thing how come that we have hunderds if not thousends of religions across the globe? 

  

Why don't you just accept gay's the way they are? 

I agree being healthy and happy is key, and there is just too much concern with what people do in private. I'm just so glad that here in Canada we allow and accept gay marrages. It doesn't matter what you do in the privacy of your 'bedroom'. 

More people need to understand gays have relationships, children and all the things hetro's do and they don't do it any differently.Homophobes just need to open thier minds educate themselves to things other than the only things they know. You don't have to like it but you should be able to except all for thier input to society. 

It's ultimately who you are in your actions with others and not what you do in your private spaces. 

A little humanity and tolerance people and a few less excuses and less hidding behind your beliefs. 

you hit this nail right on it's head. this hetro thanks you for your view and your tolerance of others. Thats what it has to be to keep everyone valid. 

 

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