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Messages By: elle1951

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October 18, 2005, 1:48 pm PDT

overweight children

 I definitely agree with Dr. Phil about the 8 yr. old, who's grandmother thinks she's overweight. If you 

emphasize dieting and weight, they will most assuredly develop low self esteem issues, and maybe even eating disorders. Teaching by example is one of the best ways, and looking at food from the perspective of nutrition and health, will allow them to develop self esteem and to be a healthy adult. 

 
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October 19, 2005, 8:19 am PDT

gay child

Quote From: cpe0317195

people who are unaccepting of gays have me feeling distraught, anxious, saddened, yet still hopeful.  my husband & i have three beautiful & loving children all in their mid-twenties and our middle child (a daughter) is a lesbian.  i know this is difficult for people to understand because in the beginning (when we came to the final realization) you do think maybe they will grow out of it (but that is our own insecurities coming out)...but seeing the daily struggles of our daughter starting in her early teens trying to be whom everyone expected her to be and not her true soul was truly sad for her...and ultimately us.  through lots of tears & tribulations our daughter is today a successful & happy person.  we are thankful and blessed because our extended family (grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins, and friends) have turned out to be very loving and supportive.  this past year our daughter had a commitment ceremony and is now "married" to a beautiful african-american woman with a young daughter.  my daughters partner was married once before to a man because she also did in her younger years what was expected of her....though now in retrospect we are all thankful that my daughter and her partner have a daughter!....also i might add she got married to do what is expected because her brother was already out of the closet being gay...they are the only two siblings in their family.  now we have a beautiful blended multi-cultural extended family and we all love one another and get along!!!...in fact we are ALL going on a cruise together in 2006!   

I can completely empathize with you and also feel distraught, saddened, and even angry. My only  

daughter is gay and lives with her partner who is Venezualan. She is 35 and is a successful  

professional. She came out when she 18. I too, inaccurately thought that she would " grow out " 

of it. But now realize and believe that it is NOT a choice. I accept and love her for herself. I visit them 

and stay with them periodically. [ I live several states away ]. I only wish for her happiness , regardless of her orientation. I applaud your loving and open minded attitude towards your  

daughter. Too often, a parent's love is conditional. If we really love our children , it should be  

unconditionally and complete. I get so angry sometimes, when I hear so called  " Christians " 

judging and looking down on gays. They live in such a narrow , self righteous world.  Jesus 

taught love and tolerance. That certainly isn't followed today by most people.  

 
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October 19, 2005, 8:46 am PDT

Kudos to you

Quote From: openmind1

 

Of course you can be gay and Christian! Perhaps not a fundamentalist bible Christian like a conservative evangelical, Pentecostal, JW, SDA. Southern Baptists or Mormon but  they are NOT the ONLY Christian organisations in America. Why are some people on this board assuming they speak for Jesus and for ALL Christians? You don't! There are MANY Christian organisations that welcome gay people and treat them with respect and allow them to worship and participate free from harassment and persecution. They don’t hide behind, “Love the sinner hate the sin” nonsense either. Some Christian groups that welcome gay people are: Church of the Brethren, Church Women United, Dignity/USA , Episcopal Church , Evangelical Lutheran Church in America , The Interfaith Alliance , National Council of the Churches of Christ USA  National Council of Jewish Women , North Georgia United Methodist Conference, Presbyterian Church (USA) ,  Unitarian Universalist Association , United Church of Christ , United Methodist Church , Young Women’s Christian Association and the Quakers.  These religious organisations accept what modern science and over 50 years of research says on homosexuality. They do not preach that gay people are perverted or any more sinful than anyone else. They do not support ex-gay programmes! They recently joined with the American Psychological Association and more than 477,000 health and mental health professionals, to make a statement denouncing it as psychological fraudery and abuse. Do some Christians here know where the idea for conversion camps for gay people first originated? NAZI GERMANY. Go research it. Is that what followers of Christ want to get involved in? Fraudulent threatments that damage people?  

 

  

 

 

I know there are some fundamentalist Christians on this board who take Leviticus and Paul’s letters to the Romans and Corithians 2000 years ago as LAW, demanding slavish obedience to them. They act like Jesus never came and set us free of laws and traditions and as if Paul IS Christ himself when he is nothing more than a human servant and a sinner no greater than you or me. See Romans 7: 17-25. His letters are no more than his feelings, experiences and advice to a specific people at a specific time in history. If we are to follow his personal letters to early churches as LAWS then we deny Christ. In addition, Paul said, in Romans 14:5 “Let every man be fully persuaded in his own mind.” In other words, USE YOUR BRAIN and THINK FOR YOURSELF.  

 

How can you be a Christian and when you worship the bible as the final authority and not Christ. It is not the bible that is GOD's WORD. Jesus is God's WORD. The bible is a collection of Jewish law, geneologies, history, poetry, gospels and letters put together by the Roman Catholic Church and cannonized as scripture around 369AD. It is a tool to be used with discernment and in the RIGHT context. All the bible does is serve as  a spiritual guide that points the way to Christ. JESUS IS THE WORD OF GOD. To worship ANY OTHER THING as the word of God is idolatry. Only Jesus is "The word of God made human (flesh)" (not words) in John 1:14. The ONLY figure ANY Christian needs to follow is Christ. And what did Christ say when people asked him “Who are the ones who will be with you in heaven?” or ‘Who will get eternal life?”  See Luke 10:25-37.  What is the ONE commandment Christ ever demanded we follow? See: Matthew 7:12. Christ said this commandment fulfills the ENTIRE LAW and PROPHETS.  

 

These bible worshipers think by idolizing the bible as God word instead of following CHRIST as GOD's WORD, they can predict God’s mind on EVERYTHING and use the bible to judge others. They can EARN salvation and see themselves as righteous. They do not realize the danger they put themselves in. Why? If you judge by the Old law, so will you be judged by God that is what Jesus Christ said in Matt 7:1-2. The truth is NOBODY can follow the entire bible perfectly. Yet, these sects ask their followers to follow bible laws literally or according to THEIR interpretation in order to prove they are Christians.  Folks this is called fundamentalism or extremism. They are making a mockery of the FREE GIFT of God’s unconditional love. Remember! Jesus came to liberate people from hopeless bondage to legalistic judgmental abusive religion. Jesus IGNORED religious laws that did not show human consideration for the greater good and he asked his followers to do the same. That is why the Pharisees hated him. See: Mark 2:23-28 and Mark 3: 1-7.  

 

Should we Christina place ANY OTHER burdens or rules on others other than the commandments Jesus gave? NO. Jesus warned some would do so in Matthew 23:4 and they are nothing but blind guides who put religion over humanity. Bottom line, if we are to be imitators of Christ, we are to experience freedom. Jesus said, “My yoke is light.” in Mathew 11:28-30. So being a Christian should never a burden. It should be a JOY! It should be freedom for the heart and soul, refreshing the spirit. If you are gay and in a sect that is causing you to experience self-hatred, suicidal thoughts, rejection, isolation, etc. then you are not in a religious sect that is following Christ but their OWN fundamentalist agenda. They are Pharasees! Remember Jesus said, “The way they treat the lest of my brothers is the way they treat me.” My gay brothers and sisters in Christ, you are loved by fellow Christians like myself and there is a place for you in God’s heaven where Jesus said there are MANY mansions. ONLY GOD KNOWS YOUR HEART! Do not listen to those who would appoint themselves masters over YOUR faith; just remember your only master is Christ. 

 

 

God Bless!.

  

 

  

  

 

  

  

It is so refreshing to read an intelligent, articulate response to the many fundamentalist opinions. I live in the Bible belt and I mostly hear the closed minded , judgemental opinions of the literal  

extremists. -- so, God Bless YOU!!! 

 
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October 23, 2005, 4:06 pm PDT

verbal abuse

ANYTHING ---- be it physical, emotional, visual, that makes a person feel LESS THAN, is ABUSE.  

A Person needs to respect and love self first, and then subsequently expect that from others. Anything less, is just simply unacceptable. I have read, learned and researched alot regarding abuse, since I left my abusive marriage 8 years ago. In answer to the Irish woman who is married to an older man. His problem, obviously,is severe insecurity and a need to control. It is NOT normal 

and erodes away your self esteem. Noone deserves to live with abuse of any kind. Most attempts 

at killing the woman is when she decides to leave, so I know that if and when you decide to leave, 

it should be unbeknownst to him, and do it quickly. To all who are going through what I did go  

through, my prayers go with you. 

 
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May 19, 2006, 6:02 pm PDT

Prime time-"Escaping Danger"

Dr. Phil, It's a noble gesture to offer help to the abusive husband, but I've read that statistically abusers are almost as unrehabilitative as are pedophiles. We are products of our upbringing, but  

when we are adults we have the free will to make choices, to change and to be in control of our own destinies. I was in an extremely abusive marriage. He tied me up, choked me, sexually and 

physically abused me while stating that he was going to kill me. I did fear for my life. I knew I was 

going to die. I did get out. I ran for my life. I have seen , not only in my case, but in others, where 

the abuser never takes responsibility, is never held accountable for their actions. As you stated in 

the show, " it's always someone else's fault "  " You made me do it " was a familiar mantra. I think  

it's essential that eventually I forgive, but for my peace of mind, not his. I truly believe, however, that 

once an abuser, always an abuser, no matter how many hours of therapy they accumulate. And I  

am curious, was the point of interviewing the abusive husband , to attempt to understand his mindset for future reference? 

 
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November 1, 2006, 3:04 pm PST

exactly

Quote From: elffie

No, she wasn't completely correct.  She said Paganism is satanism, which it is NOT. 

 

And Pagans do believe in a God(s), it's just not her God and that is what she was having  a problem with.

 

And yeah, you're right, we Pagans do like to celebrate! LOL

 Blessed Be, Elffie.  She did some research. But she didn't do all of her research. It's amazing how someone can think that their way of worshipping is the only way. And this, from a text that is over 2000 years old. Has been translated through hundreds of languages and has been re-written many times. Most recently by a church that did not want to lose members. Scare them with an evil being called Satan and they will stay with the church to find " salvation "....

Brightest Blessings, elle1951

 
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November 1, 2006, 5:10 pm PST

Pagan

Quote From: mnoyes06

It is sad that in the world today we have closed minded people.  Everyone has the right to do as they see fit (when it comes to religion).  My family is Pagan and I do not believe I am doing anything wrong by teaching my children this.  We do not go around telling people who are not Pagan that they are wrong. 

I , too am proudly Pagan.  And where our spiritual path espouses free will, tolerance and love for all things and people - sadly most Christians I've met have been closed minded, narcisistic, not

willing to think for themselves. -Blindly following someone telling them how to interpret a 2000 year old text. They run on fear and hate. Self rightously claiming their path is the only path. And to

re-iterate for those who do not take the time to really research material, We do NOT worship Satan. We do not believe in Satan. Satan is an evil entity the church invented to keep their

followers in line. --especially women. [ the wise ones , the sacred feminine ]. To be even more

succinct,, Satanists don't even worship Satan... It is from the old Egyptian sect derived from the

God, Set.

 
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January 5, 2007, 2:14 pm PST

abuse

    The reason why she allowed herself to be treated that way for 20 years is she has come from a place of NO self esteem. I don't believe that when she married him , he was all that different. Just toned down a little to put a nicer facade on his behavior. I know from experience the thought processes of a woman with no self esteem. She was grateful for any attention anyone was willing to show her. She settled for the crumbs, because she didn't know that she deserved to be treated so much better. And the reason why she didn't leave is because of her negligible

self esteem , therefore thinking , " I don't deserve or I can't get any better ".  Dr Phil should know that when a person with no self identity, no self esteem is verbally abused and isolated from friends and family, that's all the reality she knows. THAT"s why she doesn't leave , until [ and sometimes never ] she's had enough of the pain. The only difference between verbal abuse and

physical abuse is that the wounds and scars are all on the inside with verbal abuse.

Dr. Phil, maybe you have different statistics than what I've read about, but most abusers [ that includes verbal] are unable to be rehabilitated. There really IS no excuse or reason in this world to allow yourself to be subjected to abuse. Noone should stay and allow someone to demean you, to diminish you , to criticize you in any way.  Being with anyone who does anything but make you feel like a better person, like a beautiful, intelligent person, is totally unecessary and

toxic in your life.

I agree that they both need help - professional help. She needs to learn to love herself and he needs help with his anger problem. But, the bottom line is that she needs to leave him and fast !!! And then work on her esteem issues , so that she doesn't repeat the scenario.

An abuser is an abuser.........

 

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