Quote From: maryjogrizIt seems to me that non-single parents give such simple solutions to single moms! IT IS NOT THAT SIMPLE!
I am a single mother with very little money. My husband who has been an abusive alcoholic is now addicted to crack and has abandoned us. I have managed to be involved in my daughter's school and after school activities. I know this has made a difference.
I have to get back to an 8-5 job in-order to survive. I have no transportation to get my daughter to school & back or take her to her music group after school.
The advice I have gotten: ask your new employer to work around my schedule, pull your daughter out of after school activities, maybe she can walk (over 5miles alone) etc...
I am very discouraged. My whole being tells me to go with my first priority and passion---to care for my daughter enough to aid her in becoming a healthy adult. Though my realty says work & bills number 1-- then daughter. I know we have to survive physically but how can I balance this?
You're right! Non-single parents & people that have never had kids always seem to have all the answers. The problem is that they don't really understand because they haven't been there.
I can share my experience with you & maybe it can help. I am a disabled, single parent with 3 children (my oldest is 3 1/2 yrs older than my twins). Their father was an alcoholic who abandoned us & refused to pay child support. We didn't have a car either (I REALLY understand how hard that is). We rode the bus or walked.
One of the very best things I did for myself & my children was to go to Al-Anon. It seemed so selfish at first, but I found support, understanding & hope. If you can't find a group in your area, they have a website (al-anon.alateen.org). It changed my life. It helped me to find a way to survive, to heal & to grow. It taught me how to figure out my priorities & gave me a balance & security I'd never known. It also helped me to become a better parent. I went back to school, got my GED, & am working on my AA degree. My children are young adults now. Raising them was the most difficult & rewarding thing I've ever done.
Some other ideas that might help 1) a part-time job or two that work around your daughter's schedule 2) cleaning (or some chore) in exchange for your daughter's transportation from a classmates' parent. There are no problems without solutions. It's just a matter of finding a way. Above all, keep hope in your heart because you & your daughter deserve all of the best life has to offer. You will be in my prayers
