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Messages By: stryker_m
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November 20, 2005, 9:15 am PST
 Quote From: cingular I feel so so sad and sorry for ANYONE who has true mental illness, it does exist, the problem that I have is how many people start taking medication for, depression, sadness, to deal with a death, to stop smoking etc.... and may have had some problems but they start taking a medication and WHAM!!! they start have symptoms of SCHIZOPHRENIA, I belive it does exist, but i think that there are to many cases where it is brought on by medication prescribed by a doctor. this happend to me, if I had listened to the Dr.s I would be in a mental hospital today, but I knew that it had to be the Rx they gave me.... I was on lf the lucky ones who figured it out. there are so many people in mental hospitals today that dont need to be there..... and then there are these poor poor people who have true mental illness and I feel so sad because i had a small tast of mental illness... and its sad... today I take NO medications and I have no problems at all... . but while being treated for insomnia, the medication they gave me made me hear voices, and act strange... but it was not me..it was the drugs.................. I cant wait to see this show.... I just hope its not another story of someone who is diagnosed with schizophrenia AFTER already taking medications.... I pray for anyone who had true mental illness... May God be with them.. I am the one with schizophrenia on the show. In response to your post, I got sick when i was 18. I had my first full psychotic break then. I was unmedicated for years struggling with this disease, self medicating with alcohol and running the streets. I was not medicated at all for anything when the schizophrenia started. I will wait for the show to air before sharing any more. I'm sure the show will cover alot of what I might say here. |
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November 22, 2005, 10:32 am PST
Quote From: opalrose28 Schizophrenia is a disease that terrifies me. Mostly it is because I don't understand how it happens. Manny on my fathers side have had it and my mother always watched me for signs of it. I wish I new what causes it. I have heard it is genetic and also have heard it is environmental. Like maybe you can be born predisposed to it and then living in a bad environment can push you into it or something? I don't Know, and I hate not Knowing. I hope this show clears it up for me. now that I have kids of my own and all I would like to get some peace of mind on the issue. How old are you? The older you get, the less likely you will get it. I am the woman on the show and I had my first psychotic break at 18 years old. My mother also has it. If you have children, you are probably safe, though I have heard of cases of women in their 30's getting it but that's very rare. I believe I was born predisposed of it, as well as my sisters, but a major trauma occurred for me when i was 18 that seemed to 'trigger' that predisposition. I hope that my being on the show gives people hope. Yes, it is a terrible disease, but it IS treatable and with the right support network, doctors and medications, one CAN function in varying degrees. Truthfully, if I did not have the job I have right now, I would be on disability. It's well suited to my needs and my boss is very understanding. I am also protected by FMLA, the ADA, and the union. My therapist and psychiatrist have also acted as advocates for me when I've needed it. Yes, I miss days from work due to the illness. Yes, i've also been in the hospital several times (twice this year), but I continue to fight and pray for those like me who aren't as fortunate as I am to have all the pieces in place for me to function well enough to hold a job. |
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November 22, 2005, 2:00 pm PST
Quote From: cingular Hi, can I say I am so very very sorry for you.... I have not seen the show yet, but i cant wait. I know what it can feel like to be all alone in your head... its not a fun thing.... gosh, if there is ever anything that can do for you, sometimes just having someone listen to what you have to say and taking the time to talk is sometimes very helpful. when I went through a very hard time alot of people (including my family) went away, the did not take the time to just listen. it was to big of a problem for them and did not want to be botherd........hugs! Hi thank you for the kind words. But please don't feel sorry for me. Yes, i struggle every day with this disease. Sometimes I get so fed up I just want to die or stab something into my ears to make the voices stop. But I am a fighter. I take my meds regularly, even when I don't want to... thanks, in part, to my husband who nightly asks "have you taken your meds?". I have a disease like many others. Many people also have this disease whose voices need to be heard. I am so grateful to Dr. Phil and all the producers and others on the show who gave me the chance to have my voice heard. I tried to speak for those who haven't had the opportunity I had with this show but everyone is different. Schizophrenia manifests itself in many ways. But there are also millions of others who have other kinds of diseases they struggle with. Like diabetes, or fibromyalgia, cerebral palsy.... and the list goes on and on. I guess my point is... we all have our struggles in life. but ultimately it comes down to a choice each of us has to make for ourselves. We can do the things that we know will make our lives easier (such as taking meds and joining a gym like I just did last week). It's a choice to be happy. I choose to take the meds, with all their side effects ...including weight gain... so that I can be happy and share my life with my husband and my son. I don't want my son to remember me when he's older as a mother with schizophrenia, but just as a mother that he, hopefully, loves. |
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November 23, 2005, 2:45 pm PST
Quote From: gdouglass My exwife has schizophrenia, and we divorced because of it. She was convinced I murdered at least 6 people, and had numerous affairs over our 21 year marriage. And of course I did not murder anyone, nor did I ever beat anyone up, nor was I ever unfaithful to her. Of course my denials could not prove I was telling the truth, when she was so "convinced". Our sons (college age) and I are very baffled by it all. How did you decide to go back to your husband? What convinced you he was not a threat to you? What can get my wife to trust me again?? Now, she thinks I have been lying to her all these years and yet I do not know any time I ever lied to her about anything substantial affecting me and her or our marriage. All the best, Gene I realized it was a delusion after my psychiatrist increased my dosage of anti-psychotics. It took some time to dawn on me but when I was thinking more clearly I realized that he had never hurt me, and would never hurt me. I'm very sorry your wife left you. Is she taking meds? Were/are you in contact and communication with her psychiatrist? Perhaps she needs a reevaluation of her meds. I was very lucky. Like you, my husband never gave up on me. Do you still talk to each other? Maybe you could contact her psychiatrist and tell him or her all this. I wish I had clearer solutions to offer you. My husband has called my psychiatrist before and has come to therapy with me to better understand what I was going through. I wish you luck. |
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November 24, 2005, 2:34 pm PST
Quote From: ann__marie To All who have veiwed this show, all who have a loved one who is suffering from this or a similar illness, and to those brave individuals who are affected by this illness,
It is an absolute blessing that a national talkshow of this calibur is willing an able to approach this topic and bring it into the spotlight. Thank you Dr. Phil and staff!! My mother was the brave woman on the show shown talking to the voices and displaying very erratic and terrifying behavior. My hands have literally been tied for so so long. I feel like this is such a huge blessing for many people. I was wishing to get my mom help first. I was hoping that this story would inspire other families in similar situations to not give up the fight. Those loved ones need you the most. It can be soo frusterating to have somone that you hold so close to your heart be crippled by this illness. Financially it can be devastating. Emotionally it can literally tear a family apart. Everyone involved suffers. I have been reading very closly each and every response to this show. There are so many stories just like ours. So many families that are at their wits end. Does anyone else think that this system is failing us?? I know everyone affected by this is exhausted. The system needs to be reformed. I am so angry that my mom has spent five years of her life suffering. I am angry that she has missed things that she waited for her whole life to see. Her first grandsons birth and my wedding are only a few. It is time now that this has been brought into a national spotlight to stand up and say this system is not acceptable and we are going to change it. The suffering stops now. No one should have to hit rock bottom, hurt themselves or someone else, or land in jail because the system has failed. I bring one question to the table........whose fault is it? We can help so many other countries, but we cannot help our own. No. That is simply not acceptable and it we families need to rise to the top and come out of the woodwork. We need to continue fighting for our loved ones. We also need to rise up and reform the system. God bless you all. I will continue to pray for others with this illness, their families, and my mom. I love her so much and I want her back. Happy Thanksgiving!! Sincerely, Ann Marie
Hi Anne Marie, This is Mary, the first guest on the show. I hope you heard me when you joined the audience and I told you there IS hope. I am living proof of that. I have not always been as 'high functioning' as I am now. Dr. Phil is a dear, sweet, kind and caring man and I have no doubt that he will come through for you and help you, your brother, and your mother. I hope that I have given you hope too. It really affected me to see how much your mother's illness has affected you and your brother. I realized that is how my family must feel when I am not taking my medication and it is incentive for me to continue to do that. I don't like the meds, the voices tell me they are poison. but I know, especially after hearing your story, that I must take them. I must take them to be there for my family. You are in my prayers and if there is anything i can do or say or tell you that will help, i hope you will let me know. Mary |
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November 25, 2005, 2:33 pm PST
Quote From: tompain That is just it, I am diagnosed with Chronic Paranoid Schiz and I am NOT entitled to my own opinions. My rights to choose the way I think has been legislated away. I am treated like a thought criminal and told I have an additional condition that prevents me from recognizing my illness. Now I can be locked up and given a drug that permantly damages by brain.
I don't have a mental illness; I have a mental condition, but I could argue until I am blue in the face while the ignorance of the public who is brainswashed about the true nature of schizophrenia sits idley by and believes the propaganda dissemintated by the psychiatric industry.
I spent two years in therapy with my government therapist who recommended I participate in the program. I had recently been on television and in the newspaper and had given information to the lawyers who were involved in one of the nationally televised Priest Molestation cases. (The Rickey Gomez Case)
In addtion I had protested downtown at the courthouses about the legal abuses and had embarrassed two prominat judges by exorcising my right to free speech. I was then subjected to arrests and faced criminal charges in court which I beat while representing myself. Not before my reputation was summarily smeared on a front page article in the St Petersburg times however.
In short I became an embarrassment and a source of trouble for some very influencial people including the Bishop of the St. Petersburg Dioces.
The result being diagnosed with Chronic Paranoid Schizophrenia.
So basicly I now sit on a monthly social securuty check as a payoff for being forced to shut up and keep quiet., or else face being forced into having a chemicle lobotomy.
Mary who appeared on this show is a person who has never learned to deal with her condition on her own and there a good number of people like her, but there are far more people who suffer this condition who deal with it quite fine without medications.
My voices are not evil demons, but rather are friendly voices who help me cope.
I have absolutely no reason to make Fred Drop Dead, nor would I ever wish to. Unfortunately I don't have that right. It can be taken away from me if I cause any trouble.
In fact the last thing I was told by the threrapist in the the government program was a warning that if I continued to write letters to Judges, or I guess elected officials that I would be locked up in a hospital. I take offense at your comment that I have never learned to deal with my condition on my own. I dealt with it for 12 years before finally accepting medical help. I became so dysfunctional "dealing with it on my own" that i lost a job and tried to commit suicide. I 'dealt' with it for 12 years without medication and I can tell you now that the MEDS HELP ME. If you choose to live without them, that's your choice but don't tell me i've never learned to deal with it when i dealt with it alone for 12 years before finally asking for help. I'm glad for you that the voices you hear are 'friendly' and help you cope. Mine are NOT. they are cruel and obnoxious and incessant. My delusions are severe and I have terrifying hallucinations. Maybe you have only a slight case of schizophrenia and can deal with it without meds. that's great. for YOU. but don't bash me for accepting the medical help that i NEEDED to stay functional and here for my family.
Mary. |
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November 25, 2005, 2:44 pm PST
Quote From: tompain That is just it, I am diagnosed with Chronic Paranoid Schiz and I am NOT entitled to my own opinions. My rights to choose the way I think has been legislated away. I am treated like a thought criminal and told I have an additional condition that prevents me from recognizing my illness. Now I can be locked up and given a drug that permantly damages by brain.
I don't have a mental illness; I have a mental condition, but I could argue until I am blue in the face while the ignorance of the public who is brainswashed about the true nature of schizophrenia sits idley by and believes the propaganda dissemintated by the psychiatric industry.
I spent two years in therapy with my government therapist who recommended I participate in the program. I had recently been on television and in the newspaper and had given information to the lawyers who were involved in one of the nationally televised Priest Molestation cases. (The Rickey Gomez Case)
In addtion I had protested downtown at the courthouses about the legal abuses and had embarrassed two prominat judges by exorcising my right to free speech. I was then subjected to arrests and faced criminal charges in court which I beat while representing myself. Not before my reputation was summarily smeared on a front page article in the St Petersburg times however.
In short I became an embarrassment and a source of trouble for some very influencial people including the Bishop of the St. Petersburg Dioces.
The result being diagnosed with Chronic Paranoid Schizophrenia.
So basicly I now sit on a monthly social securuty check as a payoff for being forced to shut up and keep quiet., or else face being forced into having a chemicle lobotomy.
Mary who appeared on this show is a person who has never learned to deal with her condition on her own and there a good number of people like her, but there are far more people who suffer this condition who deal with it quite fine without medications.
My voices are not evil demons, but rather are friendly voices who help me cope.
I have absolutely no reason to make Fred Drop Dead, nor would I ever wish to. Unfortunately I don't have that right. It can be taken away from me if I cause any trouble.
In fact the last thing I was told by the threrapist in the the government program was a warning that if I continued to write letters to Judges, or I guess elected officials that I would be locked up in a hospital. Incidentally... on an added note.. i'd like to remind you that with the help of meds I AM WORKING AND SUPPORTING MY FAMILY. You "sit on your social security check". Who's the functioning one between us?? Who's the one 'dealing' with their illness more effectively?? |
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November 30, 2005, 7:05 am PST
Quote From: plainsue I would like to add some things to this discussion.My life has been very much like Mary's who appeard on the Dr. Phil Show. I understand completely what Mary has been going through because it was a near repeat of my experiences. The major difference is that I've been living with this illness for over 30 years.=====After my first complete psychotic break which lasted for nearly two weeks, I was terrified. I had literally "lost my mind" and have no memory whatsoever of those two weeks. Supportive friends and family closed ranks around me and protected me from the outside world as I began this unwanted journey/intrusion into my life. Shorter complete psychotic breaks followed at intervals.=====I was under the care of a superior physician-psychiatrist for the first three years. During that time, the doctor prescribed every available medication for me. The medications reacted strangely or not at all with each trial. The doctor I was seeing during those three years was perplexed, but he hypothesized that I had an enzyme deficieny which undermined the effects of the drugs we kept trying. The drugs included the entire spectrum of anti-psychotics and anti-depressants.=====Basically, I was left to battle this disease on my own with years of psycho-therapy that helped me a great deal. From my experience, I have learned that my body's chemistry has something missing that does not allow it to process medications properly.===== Therefore, I am very limited in what few drugs offer me help.=====Like Mary, I have seen "insects" crawling around on countertops. Of course they were visual hallucinations. Like Mary, I hear voices constantly. Like Mary, I've held a fulltime career and achieved my dreams to a level I'd hoped for.=====I refer to the voices I hear as "that radio in my head which won't shut up". I've become very adept at trying to discern whether someone is really speaking to me or if the voice is internal. Fortunately, to the outside world I can say, "I didn't hear you" if I ignore a real voice. That's a lot easier than answering a phantom voice and trying to explain to people I don't know well that I "distinctly" heard their voice in my head. :)=====To the mother of the son, I'd like to give encouragement that there is hope for your son. Although I am not medically qualified to offer any advice, please ask your son's physician if the drug Risperdal might help him a little.=====I am thankful that Dr. Phil chose to break the silence of this illness on his show. I've been writing a book about my journey with this very illness. I have trepidations that a personal journey book such as this might not be accepted. But after having lived my life as fully as I could, I think it would surprise and perhaps shock some of the people with whom I have successfully interacted over decades.=====It is my hope that Mary will read my message as I've walked fully in her shoes. Thank you to everyone for all your kind words of encouragement. I appreciate them all more than you know. The response to my coming forward on the show has been overwhelmingly positive. Yet, I was informed by my boss yesterday that some people from other departments in the county where I work recognized me and are now calling my director asking if I'm a threat to anyone. This is exactly the kind of stigma I had hoped to eliminate. I'm very paranoid now that I'm going to lose my job due to the ignorance of other people who probably didn't even watch the whole show. I'm sure they saw me coupled with the word 'schizophrenia' and panicked. I'm very very disappointed that anyone would fear me because of this illness. If i lose this job because I went on the show, I have nothing to fall back on. Disability, yes, but that takes months to get and it's exactly what i've fought so hard to avoid for 17 years. It just makes me very sad that a few misguided individuals could cause me to lose the one job I've found that I can function adequately with and make enough money to support my family with. My husband isn't working and I am not only dealing with this illness, but I am the only source of income for my family as well. I realize that it may be a little naive to think that i could erase stigma by being on the show, or expecting that everyone who watched would listen to what I was trying to say. i would never hurt anyone in my life. I take my meds regularly. yes, i've been in the hospital a few times, but even then the only threat was a threat to myself. I just hope a few scared uninformed individuals won't cause me to lose the one job i've found that i can be functional and succeed at. Again, thank you all who have been so supportive of me and said nice things to me. it means more to me than i can express.
Mary |
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December 2, 2005, 9:45 am PST
Quote From: namien Mary,
I've read through the many posts and I see that you posted a response to others. When I saw the show I knew it was you! I told my girlfriend about the show and I wanted so badly to get in contact with you. I hope that your work performance shows no reason for them to let you go. I understand its one of the better jobs for you as you say in the letter but what is meant to be will be and you will persevere! I have faith in that and in hearing your story the strength you show is amazing. In case you haven't figured it out yet... I posted twice and I emailed the show twice... This is Chrissy from Logan Street when you lived on Poxson in Lansing! Then we moved a million more times but its me! If you can contact the show I gave them my mailing address and my personal email address so if you wanted to be in touch with me you can. My heart is there for you! I had no idea you were going through this. We had so many wonderful memories and some crappy one's too. BUT you have to know that even at 34 and we haven't seen each other for about 11 to 12 years I would/will be a listening ear for you. I live in Arizona now so unless you moved out here I'm sure we're many miles apart. How is Kristine, Lori, Julie, Mom and Dad doing? Is Dad and Gail still together? What about Gabe? I have to tell you my life long dream of owning a horse came true this past year. I rode him so much! Unfortunately he had an ailment in his ankle bone when I purchased him and he only got worse from my constant riding. I gave him to a family who has him as a pasture pet (little to no riding for him anymore). Anyhow, I knew of all people you would appreciate our life long dream of wanting horses! His name was Rob. He was a Bay Quarter horse and a huge lover! Mary, I'm so very sorry that you are facing what your mom faces. It has to be hard. I'm truly here if you want me to be. I love you! I do! I could tell in your mannerisms and with the sound of your voice on the show and then when they started talking about a 12 year old son I knew it was you. The last time we saw each other you lived in the M.S.U. dorm and your son was a baby. My oldest son at that time was 2. He's now 14! As I've posted in my other messages I couldn't be more proud of the things you shared on Dr. Phil. It takes an amazing amount of courage and strength from within. I don't know if there is a cure all or if talking or sharing memories helps or hinders what you are going through but I'd like to be there as much as I can this far away from you. If and when you are willing please contact me.
My prayers go out to you and your family. I will pray that you keep your job and that the show doesn't affect your life negatively. I know it will help so many others out there come to conclusions of diagnosis as well as realize that they aren't the only one's out there facing these same symptoms. I admire that you did this and I also truly believe it was fate I changed the channel to Dr. Phil when you were on. I didn't get to see the entire segment with you on but I did see most of it. I have two younger boys so they don't exactly let me sit and watch television.
Look forward to reuniting!
Chrissy S. My God, Chrissy it's you!!! Oh i'm so glad to hear you are well. I've wondered over the years how to get ahold of you. I don't mind posting my email address here. If others want to contact me and talk that's fine too. I have several email accounts so I don't mind sharing this one. I'm at stryker_mary@yahoo.com please email me and tell me more about how you are! i'd love to talk with you again. If you email me, i'll email you back with my phone number and stuff and maybe we can talk! It's so good to hear from you. it really really is. my friendship with you was the highlight of my childhood. i hope you know that. Hope to hear from you soon.
Love, Mary |
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December 6, 2005, 11:47 am PST
Quote From: church_one I agree that drugs are not anyone's answer. I don't know what your word is-spiritual or not, its just as good an explanation that any doctor makes. Just on the TODAY show this morning. Matt Lauer was interviewing some one about writing a book about the feelings of love: and of course the love feelings cause "chemical imbalances in the brain and have to do with dopamine" GEE WHIZ--just falling in love is the same thing as why there is mental illness......please research and read about this stuff...I like all the links that 'tompain' has referred to in past posts on this subject. This catch all of a chemical imbalance that a Doctor can fix when it is all guessing. Drugs don't solve anything. If someones has fear and worries and stress and not enough sleep the brain can go temporarily crazy and start strange behaviors and then you can choose to let the behaviors take over or take a different course. THINK paranoid and you will stay paranoid and it will grow into schizophrenia.....Find the real root cause of all this and not be turned into a zombie by drugs. They medicate people in old folks homes to make them easier to cope with-it didn't always work, I watched that when I worked in one. Enough, I'll get off my soap box for now-but I know from experience. I have to disagree. I can say from personal experience that the meds DO help. Without them (and yes, i've tried going off them before and it was a disaster), I am unable to perform my job duties, function as a wife and mother, and live a fear free life. Meds HELP ME. I do not believe that I "stressed and worried" myself "into" schizophrenia. I do not believe that paranoia 'grows into' schizophrenia. It is a biological and possibly genetic disease that IS helped with medication. To say otherwise to someone with this illness is irresponsible and asking for disaster. My psychiatrist isn't the boogyman. She's a physician with experience that shows that meds help relieve the symptoms of schizophrenia. Yes, reducing stress helps minimize episodes but that is not the whole picture. I, for one, will continue taking my meds because I know what my life is like when I am not on them. I choose to take control over my life and my illness and not succumb to paranoia of the medical system that is there to try to help me. If you think modern mental institutions are bad, try going back in time a little... maybe 100 years when the mentally ill were caged away in asylums and forgotten. The advent of meds for schizophrenia has evolved along with the attitudes and treatment of patients in hospitals. I for one, would not like to go back to the dark days before there was any treatment for this disease. For those of you who think i've 'worried and stressed' myself into schizophrenia, I say walk one day in my shoes. Know the things I know and see the things I have seen. and then tell me meds (in conjunction with medical evaluation and therapy) are not the answer. JUST ONE DAY. |
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