Messages By: fritangela

I desperately need advice about what to do about my husband's constant overeating. He is about 70 lbs overweight and he knows it. His body image is terrible...he gets depressed every time he looks in the mirror. However, whenever he eats, he has NO portion control. I'm not his mother so I don't want to say something, but he has no idea when to stop. For example, last night we had a large pizza and I only ate two pieces. When I cook, I make enough for the two of us that should sustain both he and I through the night, but an hour after dinner he'll be in the kitchen making cheese quesadillas or something. How do I get him to cut down on his eating without hurting his feelings? How do I get him to choose healthier alternatives. It's not like we buy unhealthy things at the grocery store, but he always finds a way to the junk food...I'm a little overweight myself but I know when to stop eating. He just has no control and will go and go and go. What should I do? 

Thanks, 

Christina 

Hi there.  I just wanted to let you know that you don't need a gym, or money or special clothes or ANYTHING to lose weight and exercise.  I did it when I lived on a farm 28 miles from town!!   

When I decided that I was going to DO it - not just talk about it anymore : 

I WALKED every day.  I started with walking 10 minutes (5 minutes from the house, down the gravel road, turn around and 5 minutes back).  In the end I walked an hour a day and loved it.  I walked in the snow even.  It felt good to know that all I needed to change myself was ME!    If I can do it, YOU can do it - without a gym, friends, exercise tapes, money - you just need YOU!! 

hey girl, don't be so down.  I was glad to see your concerns and hope that as a mom I can offer some advice.  I have a 4 year old, too.  my childis a pain in the rear, and I am proud of his mischevious ways.  you know that a spirited baby is a smart baby, this child doesn't agree with your boundries.  when we don't agree with authority we vote, our children aren't that complicated, so they let us know the only way they know how.   

you are doing great by talking to your child, that teaches your child how to replace bad behaviors with good behaviors.  however, you may need to try some new tactics to show him who's boss.  yes, your child can have an opinion, yes, you should show him he is valuable by discussing his opinion, but NO, he cannot react in such inapropriate ways when you, the main authority, sets the rules.   

I tried a strategy that I discovered while watching dr. phil, and it changed my son. 

try this, 

set aside two hours or so, and take your child somewhere fun.  on the way, explain to your child that if he misbehaves you will have to leave.  pretty much, set your kid up to be a pain in the butt.  when your child misbehaves, stop.  get down to his level and say "if you repeat this behavior, we are leaving."  when he does it, grab his butt and leave.  you may have to do this several times.   

it doesnt matter if the store is your problem or not, if you do this consistently, your child will see that you are serious, and behaviors will change. 

please take may advice and use it.  you can apply the basic principle of this tactic to almost any situation. 

I promise it worked for me, and I have raised six children.  your child is a gift from God, and it is your obligation to raise him to the best of your ability.  I know it's hard to deal with an overly inteligent child, but if you mold his behaviors now he will be a much better person for the rest of his life. 

good luck 

With that attitude I feel sorry for your dear husband.    I agree that a threesome has no place what so ever in a marriage that is asking for trouble.  However...... my husband and Ihave been together for 3 years and married for a year and half.  We still have sex all the time and we are both in our mid thirties. I am still very attracted to my husband and as far as I'm concerned as long as it stays betweens the two of us "anything goes"!    I htink it is sad that married couples put sex on the back burner, staying connected is very important to a happy marriage and it is a top priority to me. 

I have never used a message board before, but here goes. I guess I am not sure where to start, except to say that I have lost all of my friends, at least lost people who I "thought" were my friends. It was my own fault and made some very stupid decisions. I guess what I did was too big for my friends to forgive me. 

 In a nutshell, I had an affair, and in that process, lied or disclosed the truth, which is the same thing only in a different form and now they have all turned their back in disgust. I am not sure what to do. My husband and I are working things out. Marital counseling is expensive and the therapists in our town are your basic "tell me what your thinking" type. I guess I haven't seen a lot of good results with marital therapists and are down on them at the moment.  

Anyway, I guess I am at a loss. My reputation is shot, due to my own actions. I do not have any support, except maybe my sister, but our family has never learned to communicate. I am not out 

of hope, but just need some guidance. Not sure how to make new friends...too paranoid they all think or know what I did and wouldn't want to be my friend.... anyway, I know I am not the only person who has had an affair, I just am feeling so lost right now. I have betrayed many.  

My daughter has an addicition as well, she is a junkie, I don't like saying that, but I have too..she was a heroin addict and now is recovering, well she was, now its drinking once in awhile but mostly pot use and sleeping pills, she was clean for almost a full year...she had to go on treatment for 1 year an towards the end, she couldn't take it anymore, she wanted to have fun once in awhile...so she did, but she is supposed to be clean from everything, because she has hep c ...:(   and she just turned 25 and she has the worst one 1A the worst one, usually non effective with treatment. Her life has been one big turmoil, 50% of her own doing...she started on drugs very young...11 1/2  crank!!!!!! our lives, her life went down ever since...what stopped her? a murder...jail...and now recovery....if you can call it that....okay, this is too upsetting...i will be back later thanks for listening...