Messages By: alwyscryng
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November 3, 2005, 6:53 pm PST
 Quote From: recovery99 I was so relieved to read your post. I love watching the Dr. phil show, but....I just left my second treatment center that I have been in this year. Anorexia is so glorified on TV...seeing the bones is a huge trigger for me. It seems like TV shows flash pictures of the worst cases on TV and quote weights up and down. here is my thought.....if you wouldn't ask or post the weights of "normal" people (because it is considered RUDE), why in the world would anyone post and talk about the weight of a person who is obviously more sensitive about it than the average population? I feel pulled to watch the show, but am scared to death of being triggered into relapse. I am already holding on for my life as it is....I wish that someone would do a show about anorexia and bulemia without focusing on pictures of people at their sickest. The public already seems to think that eating disorders are about food. Dr. Phil says that you can't fix money problems with money. I say you can't fix anorexia with food. If only he could say that....
On a better note, the author of Life Without Ed will be on the show, and that is the best book I've ever read about eating disorders. It's as if the author has climbed into my head and written all of my thoughts on paper. Yes, people that do not have anorexia really a lot of times do not understand how we become triggered hearing about or seeing someone at a really low weight. I've never read Life Without ED, but I will try to do so. I am trying to lose weight now. I know it's not for the 'best,' but I feel so lost without it. Plus, my pants are tight and no sense having to buy new ones when I'd be happier skinnier, right?
I hope that all of us wouldn't feel the need for this in our lives. It's just something to focus on and be in control over. I am so scared of growing up. I am 20, and I just cannot imagine growing old, alone, and........I'm going to cry. I love God, but I hate myself- what an ironic situation. |
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November 5, 2005, 6:28 pm PST
Quote From: mbsmmt I am angry...have every right to be!!! We have tried to help her...she is not interested...doesn't think there is anything wrong with her ribs sticking out...being able to feel every bump on her spine...etc.
The last time I checked suicide was a sin! She does not act in a christian manner...is nasty to everyone and frankly I can't believe that God would be ok with the way she treats herself or her family. I don't want to know a God that would approve of her behavior.
There is nothing left but anger. My family has tried to help her but instead of being grateful for the care and concern she just gets more mean and nasty. As you should know, you can't help someone who doesn't want it...won't admit there is a problem. She is going blind and has known about the possibility of this happening for years and has refused to get any treatment...if she had done the things her eye doctor recomended she wouldn't have the severity of problem she has today. She has also tested positive for cancerous cells...she would rather be in denial about that too...She will die sooner rather then later because of her own actions. To me that is suicide...to do nothing to save yourself and to do everything in your power to aid in your ultimate demise is a sin...to me it is murder...only she is killing herself.
I don't harbor ill wishes towards her...I don't wish her dead...I would love to see her get help and start treating people the way they deserve to be treated...But it is not going to happen not ever. As far as dealing with mental health issues...I do already deal with my own. I had problems and got help and continue to fight my own inner demons...it would have been easy for me to slide into the kind of depression that you don't come out of but I got help. It is possible to get treatment for all mental health issues. If you found the strength to admit your problem with food and get help then you know that you have to acknowledge the problem and do the work necessary to get better.
So, I am angry and will probably still be angry at her funeral. I am very sorry you feel this way, but I still hope that it can both be resolved for you two and that you do not feel such anger towards every anorexic. While your aunt may act mean, not every anorexic does. Some are trying to change, but right now cannot. We should not judge others. No, God does not like anorexia, or any other mental problem, but He is love. God loves everyone. I am glad you do not wish your aunt to be dead, but anger only hurts. Please leave your aunt's personal relationship with God to her. I am not saying to not talk to her or be honest with your feelings, but I really hope you do not call her selfish and let your anger show. |
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November 5, 2005, 6:37 pm PST
Quote From: juliana67 Hello everybody. I have never posted on this message board before, but after yesterday's show I feel compelled to. I want one point to get across and that is that eating disorders are not a choice. Anorexia nervosa is a brain disorder, the causation lies in the brain. Our brains are abnormal, just like the young girl with PWS. Triggers are the underlying issues, not the causation. The causation is in our brains. It is a disease, and there is no cure (management, yes, but no cure). That is the first point I want to make clear. I have been suffereing with anorexia for over 6 years and have been to many treatment centers and researched more than my fair share of information on anorexia. If you don't believe me about the causation being in the brain, see for yourself at this medical page http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/entrez/query.fcgi?DB=pubmed I was very upset with Dr. Phil after yesterday's show. The first thing I heard Dr. Phil say to Kathy was that she looked wonderful. Hello?? WOnderful, good, great, healthy, etc. all equate FAT in our minds! I was livid by that time and should have turned the channel, but I chose not to. Dr. Phil, don't you understand that eating disorders are not a choice and that any comment on our appereance is not needed and only a trigger? I was also upset by how the show kept flashing Kathy's emaciated pictures and her extreme weight. Weight is not reflective of the amount of pain we are all in. One does not have to be extremely emacaited in order to be suffering imensly. I felt so bad for Kathy because of how her weight and pictures were right there in front of her the whole show. I'm sure it was a BIG trigger! Kathy, I am so proud of you for having the strength and courage to go on the show and give yourself a voice. You are an inspiration, and girl, you are stronger than you think you are. I am also upset because it seemed as if Dr. Phil was saying that Kathy is now recovered. SHe has worked very hard, yes, but the hell will live on for MUCH MUCH longer and it seems to minimalize her pain and suffering. I am sorry if I sound like I am lecturing, but I just cannot stay quiet. Too much misinformation and stereotypes are out there. People with eating disorders are anything but selfish. We did not choose this way of coping. Please understand that. We did not choose this. We live with undescribable pain and hurt each and everyday. The battle in our minds is out of control, however, we percieve anorexia to be the only thing we can control. Anorexia is hell and recovery is much more hell. People do not understand how HARD it is to eat or to not purge. It is a battle each and every day. Our minds scream at us how fat, lazy, worthless, selfish, and undeserving we are. Anorexia is PAIN! If any of you have anything in response to this, I would love to talk with you. Anorexia has killed me every single day I continue to hold on, and I understand just how horrible and painful this road to health is. Thank you all for listening, Julie YES! You said this very well; I absolutely agree. My family thinks that I am well because I gained weight, they say how much better I look now- this is causing me to relapse. People cannot just keep their mouths shut on this topic. I think about weight all day long- it will not leave me. I am sitting here, still underweight, and feeling like the most worthless slob in all the world. And for those that continue to think that we are sinning, maybe we are- but don't you see that this is a battle, that we don't choose for this to be how we survive? I mean, I am not trying to kill myself or commit suicide. Eating is just difficult and full of shame. Do you condemn those that cry for relief, that are depressed? Our feelings manifest into physical problems. Unfortunately, we cannot hide our scars, and so the world takes this opportunity to throw stones at us. No one with anorexia is happy!
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