Messages By: don_ukdk

Hello from an English guy in Denmark……

Well, I’ve read the leader from Dr. Phil and the letters and comments from various members of the Dr. Phil community……    

I just want to say – you guys that see the current shows are lucky …. Here we get to see older versions of the shows, several times in the course of a year                

 Bummer, right?        

                                     Right – that said… down to business…..

                                                Poor Erin missing the big “O”.

There can be several reasons. Is she, or Wayne, (both maybe?), anxious, impatient, not   experienced enough?  

I’m sure they will be guided in the right direction              

What about Tom wanting his wife Kathy to make some noise during sex? Well, Kathy …. A few moans do tell a guy whether or not his woman is feeling good at certain moments in time. You can even speak if you don’t want to moan  

I almost fell off my chair laughing when I read your comment that read : "...would you buy a car without a test drive! " 

I have driven some old bangers in my time (Tongue in cheek!). Of course, I know what you mean, and yet, (whilst on the car scenario), when you buy a used car you buy someone else´s problems. Luckily, there is a warranty on used cars. *teasing* 

Young, middle aged, or whatever ...... it is a good idea to live with someone before getting married. 

To have a person who has seen you cry, vomit all over the place, helpless at one time or another, and to have that person there through thick and thin, and to have him/her therewhen all is calm,  is a good indicator. 

I agree with you and congrats from me to you and yours on your wedding - Best wishes :-) 

Having read your letter, my mind wondered to "that special time" in my life. We all go through it, somehow, some way. 

In my case, I remember not wanting to "appear stupid" or "appear immature" - so, it was best not to even go there (No pun intended)   *smiling* 

I would suggest that, you in your wisdom, don´t pick a deadline, but choose the atmosphere. Through out the day ...... let him think Christmas is early this year. 

You could for example, use massage where he is on the floor, and you, at some point, are kneeling above him massaging his chest, his face, stroking his lips, nibbling his neck/ears - bearing in mind to move away [not to be obvious], now and again and do your thing with him, a little at a time. 

I don´t think I need to elaborate more. Do I? I bet you it works............       Believe me, I know!!  

Just a "quickie" - 

Believe me - your wife is not pushing you away. Sure, that´s the way "us guys" read that "re-action" 

Try and see it from her side of the table - she needs something more than sex. She needs to be reassured, by actions - not words. Try dating her again, without the payoff being sex, for example. 

Treat her like your date, your girlfriend - the one and only :-) 

You know ........ us guys get what we put into a relationship back tenfold! 

Good luck and all the best to you and yours.  

I am the father to 3 healthy boys, aged 12, 14 + 15. 

I was divorced from their mother 8 years ago. My 2 oldest sons live with me, and they always have. My youngest son, lives with their mother. 

I am an Englishman living in Denmark, and for reasons that need not be gone into here, that is the decision that was made. My ex- wife moved back to "our" town about 2 years ago with a guy she was living with, and consequently married, last year. 

Under Danish law, I get to see my youngest son every 2nd weekend, alternate holidays and special ocassions like birthdays, and so on. 

About 18 months ago, I approached my ex and suggested to her that our 2 oldest boys lived with her ever 2nd week for 5 days. This way, they could develop their relationship with her, her husband and their younger brother. Plus, my 2 oldest boys have breakfast most mornings at their mother´´s house, so all 3 boys can go to school together. 

I admit - I have regretted it many times, but only because of selfish reasons ...... (these thoughts I have "always kept to myself") 

Now my youngest son is 12½ years old - (he lives 1 mile from our house), my ex says I cannot see my youngest son more than I do as it would not be good for him, as he is better off with her! 

Of course, I could contest her and be proven right on this issue........... I just know my sons know Dad is always there for them. All 3 of them. 

Anyway - that is one story about "shared children"...... another is :- I met a woman - online - that was the woman of my dreams. We chatted, wrote, mailed and called each other for hours at a time. 

She lived in the USA ...   she visited me and my boys here. It was great . 

Earlier this year, I visited her in her home. 

The downside is / was, she has a shared child with her ex. Under US law there is a "60 mile" rule for enstraged parents. My American g/f cannot move outside of the US, (understandable), with her daughter. So, a year later - it is over.  

Do divorced Americans only re-marry Americans? 

No matter what -                                      Kids come first. 

First, I sympathise with you, and  your children.... 

I am a single Dad, have been for 8 years now. 

If your husband has any self respect, and love for your children - which I am sure he has, then he needs to tell the children what he intends to do. 

You both need to be there and show the kids that you both still love them, as Mum and Dad, because you will always be their Mum and Dad .... no matter what, and tell them together. It will be painfull. Very painfull. 

Let the kids ask questions and answer them as best you can.  

Maybe they will show anger, contempt, fear, disappointment ......... you need to be strong. 

There is soooooo much more I could say, but, I will leave it here.  

You are welcome to get in touch if you need a shoulder to lean on, or someone to yell at. 

Through your love, and strength, your kids will grow and thrive - believe me. 

Good luck and my best wishes go out to you.  Don 

Thanks for the link ~  

I have just spent a long time at the pre-mentioned site....... I have delibrately looked for "something bad". Something to hang onto that could let me stand by your side. 

I hate to say this, but the "Hooker" boards are just another stage in a fashion. They are not obscene or derogitory to children / minors. Cheerleaders show more at times. 

They are what they are - just animations. 

As regards the disagreement between you and your partner - that is another issue.(In my opinion). 

Your partner, in your own words, is a good Daddy  and that´s cool. I am sure that they will not even bother if Daddy´s stuff in is his hobby room ..... just like his tools are in his garage. 

My point is, it is not worth "making a mountain out of a molehill"    

However - if you have issues on a difference of opinion, then the childrens´ interests must come first. But, honestly, kids see worse watching Tom and Jerry.  

Hope you guys resolve your differnce of opinion - so you both can be happy. Good luck :-) 

Nooooooooooooooooooo ...................... I was on about you making him feel relaxed..... feeling safe, feeling natural with you.... he will follow your lead. Got it now??? 

My expression "Let him think Christmas is early this year" means, let him know he´s being spoiled and he´s in for a surprise. 

Come again if if don´t understand my Uk English :-) Good luck :-)   Don