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Messages By: misskanell

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October 17, 2005, 2:51 pm CDT

Daycare/Babysitters/Nannies

I think daycares are great, but how do I get my 2 1/2 year old to stop crying when I drop her off? I have taken her to 4 different babysitters in the past, but when I would drop her off she would look me in the eye and tell me "NO MOMMY, NO!!" She was obviously scared out of her mind at all 4 different places.  Then my parents took her and my son (1 yr old)  on vacation for 3 weeks. After they got back that's when I decided to put them in daycare. Now when I drop her off she just cries, but not as bad as before. But she still cries everyday and I don't want the other kids thinking she's a "cry baby". It's also really starting to get to me because I can't understand why she's doing this. I need some major advice.  

  

Also after I get home my son does not let me put him down. He screams until he makes himself sick or even blue in the face if I'm not holding him. He never did this before my parents took them on vacation. Any tips on getting him to relax before he throws himself into an anxiety attack? 

 
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October 19, 2005, 9:47 am CDT

AZ Mom

I am a young mom of 2 very great kids. My daughter is 2 1/2 and my son will be one next week. For the first 3 weeks of September my parents took my children on vacation with them. About a week after they got back I noticed my son would cry non-stop if I didn't pick him up. He has no interest in any of his toys and even refuses to try to walk. His Doctor said he's going through serperation anxiety and if it get much worse he might have an anxiety attack. This has been going on for way over 3 weeks now. I've tried ingnoring him, but that only makes it worse. Any thoughts on how to get my son to stop screaming?  

 
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November 1, 2005, 10:39 am CST

AZ mom

I am a young mother of 2 wonderful kids. My daughter is 2 1/2 and my son just turned one. When I was pregnant with my son my ex (their sperm donor) tried to kill me. If I hadn't droped my daughter off at the babysitters I know in my heart he would of killed her. After that happened I moved to a different state and lived with a friend of mine. Because of all of the court dates, I unfortunitly had to move back. After everything was done I moved some 2000 miles away. I'm now with a new guy and both of my kids call him dad. He's a really great guy and he's very caring. But that's not what I need advice on. When I take my daughter to day care, she is terrified to stay their. She has gone to 3 babysitters and 1daycare (where she is now). The first babysitter locked her in a room and left her there all day. The second one said she couldn't watch the kids anymore because they weren't there full time. The third one hit my daughter and left marks (no, the cops didn't do anything). Where she is now is a Christian daycare. The people are super nice and would do anything for anybody. The thing is every morning when I drop her off she just cries and cries and cries. She's been going there for 6 weeks now and it's getting out of hand with her crying. I'm afraid the daycare won't keep taking her if she's keeps crying. How can I get my daughter to stop crying and realize the people there aren't going to hurt her? The poor girl has been through way too much BS in her life and I just want her to feel safe and happy.  

 
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November 2, 2005, 8:58 am CST

General Advice

Thank you for you advice. I am trying the back pack thing, but she refuses to take it off, even for a nap. I will try the key and the picture idea, maybe even the blanket idea. Anything to help her adjust.  

  

After I picked my daughter up the teacher told me that she had been crying all day. I asked her if this was the first time she had cried all day and she told me no it was not. I left it at that and talked a little bit with my daughter. She told me that she had been getting hurt by 2 boys. Then she pointed to her arm. She had teeth marks on her arm. I said something to the director of the school and she said she would do something. When I got her home I took her to the potty and I just happened to look at her panties and they were filled with poop. I don't know what the deal is but I am going to get to the bottom of this. I feel as if know one cares about my daughter. My son on the other had is doing great. He loves going and has acctually stoped crying when I'm home, but that's a whole nother topic. Is there a hotline or website that someone can go to to report a child care center?? misskanell@yahoo.com 

 
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November 2, 2005, 9:08 am CST

Just a thought

Quote From: smile0998

My normally happy 2 month old has started screaming & yelling... This past weekend we went away. While we were driving she was fine. She played for a little while & then fell asleep. When she woke up she started crying. But then it turned into screaming & yelling. She sounded scared & mad. I was sitting in the back seat next her & tried to comfort her. Well nothing seemed to console her. Finally we pulled over & I held her for a little while to calm her down. She fell back to sleep in my arms. Then I put her back down & she cried a little but finally fell back to sleep. Well that was most of our weekend. She would suddenly start screaming for no apparent reason. Well now that is her daily routine.. there seems to be no reason why. It's not constant but it just starts all of a sudden. This morning she was in a great mood. She woke up happy, she ate & was playing. She fell back to sleep while I got ready for work. I woke her up to change her & get her dressed. She was fine. Then in the middle of me dressing her she started screaming again. I calmed her down & then tried to put her in the car seat & she flipped out & wouldn't stop. She just sweats so much when she cries. Finally I took her out & she fell asleep on me. After about 10 minutes I put her back in the car seat & she was fine. She made a few little cries but nothing like before.  We drove to my in-laws & she was fine. I am going to the doctors next week for her 2 month check up. I was hoping that someone would have some advice for me. Please!  

My son did the same thing at that age. My mom is a Xango dealer and we gave him some of that. Within maybe 20 seconds he fell asleep and slept all night long. It was the first time he slept all night since he was born. Xango is an all natural fruit juice and some people believes it cures cancer. Rather it does or doesn't, he slept and the crying stoped for a little bit. It could be her teeth as well. Try a cold wet wash cloth. Freeze it if you think it'd help. That's what I give my son now to go to sleep, he's one. Also check her car seat, there could be something irratating her. Just some things to think of.   

 
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November 7, 2005, 10:54 am CST

More Advice Please

My boyfriend has 2 girls. One is his (Alyssa, 10) and the other is his exs' from a previous relationship (Lizzy, 11), but he's the only father she has ever known. They are both really great kids, but there mother has pushed me too far. Last friday I went to pick them up because their dad, my boyfriend, could not get them in time. His ex was not there. I rang the doorbell and Lizzy opened the door and when she did this there was a HORRIBLE smell that came out. It was so bad that I just about threw up on their porch. I could swear it was dead body. Lizzy has mentioned that it is so bad there that she wants to come live with us, but she can't because of the situation. I would call CPS on her because of the house being a disaster, but then she'll go through the state to get more money out of my boyfriend. Right now he pays around $300 a month for Alyssa, if it were to go to court he would be paying well over $1300 a month for her. The $300 is enough to pay for all of her bills, except the house payment. His ex smokes 3 packs a day and is never home. She'll leave for the weekend and not tell anybody she's going or where she's going. The girls usually call me begging for me to pick them up. I have personally taken them shopping and bought them the little stuff that they needed. Both of the girls have told me that they NEED clothes and that "mommy" tells us to ask daddy to buy the clothes for them. How do I get my boyfriends ex (33 yrs old) to grow up and be an adult and take care of these beautiful little girls?? I'm also scared to death someone is going to hurt these girls because the front door looks like it has been busted down.
 
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November 15, 2005, 11:59 am CST

Thoughts??

Quote From: elizainva

I am a lab tech in an orthodontic practice. I see the long term effects every day of thumb sucking or pacifier sucking too long and babies not being weaned off a bottle at an early enough age. A lot of these kids eventually develop an "open bite". This means when they bite together, there is a space in between their top and botoom teeth in the front, even though the back teeth are together. This space is usually big enough to stick a finger or two into. One thing you cna do for thumb sucking, short of going to the dentist/orthodontist to get a thumb habit appliance, is to tape a popsicle stick to the thumb that they suck. Tape one to both if they try to switch hands. This subtle reminder when they put their thumb to their mouth will hopefully break the habit over time. Hope this advice helps anyone struggling with this issue.
Will that also work if the child is sucking on their index finger?? My daughter will be 3 in January and she sucks on her index finger. She does it all night long. Can that cause open bite??
 
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November 21, 2005, 9:06 am CST

My b/fs kids

Quote From: dsr042

Not sure why you think she can go to court to get more money?? Does your bf want custody, maybe he should fight, call CPS to have them take a look at the situation, hire a Guardium ad litem...just some ideas. I would imagine it would be difficult to get a child who is not biologically yours taken away, keep that in mind in this whole process. What does the mother say about the situation?
When my boyfriend split with his ex, they agreed on a set amount of $300. That's when he was making $15 an hour. Well, since then he's gotten a huge pay raise and now makes $28 an hour. My boyfriend has mentioned that he would like custody of Lizzy, the one that is not biologically his, but not Alyssa because she is turning out to be a bad kid. I know if he were to get custody of both it would split us up and he can't take care of 2 girls by himself, because of his hours that he works. Just this past weekend Alyssa hit my daughter (2yrs, 10 months) in the mouth and made her bleed. Both of my kids have already suffered enough abuse from their past that I'm very angry that Alyssa would even think about hitting her, let alone acctually doing it. Lizzy has only known of one father in her life, and that is my boyfriend. Her real father killed himself before she was even born. The mother doesn't care what happens to her kids. There's always strange people coming and going from the house that I'm just waiting for the day that one of the girls gets hurt or even worse, raped. I did call CPS to let them know what was going on and they kinda acted like, "what are we suppose to do about it?". I told my boyfriend about me calling and he said he would start really getting involved because of how worried I'm getting. And what's even more sad is that their mother told them that they weren't getting anything for christmas because of their grades. BUT YET SHE'S NEVER HOME TO HELP THEM!!! I'm afraid it is going to take one of the girls getting hurt to open her eyes and even then, I'm sure she'll make up some lame excuse.
 
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November 21, 2005, 12:22 pm CST

Thoughts needed

When I came into this board I kinda thought I would get some advice on if porno is working in other couples relationships, not church. No, I'm not an antichrist, but wow, so much for this board being on the subject. 

  

I was basically looking for some different ideas on "spiceing" up our relationship without all of the pornography. My boyfriend and I are 9 years apart and everything is great and all, but I would like to surprise him with something unique.  

 
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November 21, 2005, 1:04 pm CST

My last option

I am 22 years old and I've been to hell and back. I have 2 wonderful kids by a man that beat me, raped me, and even tried to kill me. I put up with it for 2 1/2 years and finally one day I had enough. I met him when I was 18 and fell head over heals. After a month of being with him, I found out I was pregnant. Three days after I had my daughter he raped me until I passed out from all of the pain. This was the first time he did anything really horrible and after that it slowly got worse. I left him when my daughter was around 13 months old. I suspected him of touching her in a sexual maner. Then long behold I found out that I was pregnant with my son 1 week after I left. We got back together, but didn't live in the same house. When I was 4 months pregnant with my son, he tried to kill me because he didn't believe it was possible that he could "create" a boy. I never really saw him after that, because I fled the state in fear of my life and my childrens' life. But what I don't get is that I think about him for most of the day. Justice wasn't served to him and I feel like finding him and killing him for what he's done. He only got 20 days in jail and because he worked he could serve it on the weekends. I never told anyone what he did to my daughter, because I don't want her growing up knowing her dad touched her. He also doesn't pay any child support and didn't have to pay any medical expenses because I had help from the state.  

  

Right now I'm with a great guy. He's done everything for me. He's even helped me get a new car so I wouldn't have to drive around my old one that is damaged from ex kicking it. My boyfriend has even talked about getting married and adopting my kids as his own. I guess you could say he's a saint or even the greatest guy alive for everything that he's done for me. But I can't stop hurting inside. I constantly think about killing my ex and the ways I could do it. I've even thought of hiring a hit man to take him out. The even more sad thing is that I'm a good person and I use to go to church, but now I can't because of where I live. I want to give up so bad that it's taking up the time I should be giving to my family. I'm too embarassed to go to a doctor and tell him I'm crazy. What other methods are out there that will help me deal with all of this, because I don't know how much longer I can stay physically sane.  

 

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