Quote From: dsr042Yeah, seems to me like you are certainly in a tough spot, and this whole custody thing gets to be very tricky. And more often than not, mothers win. I have dealt with the custody fight with my son, as well as seen my 7 nieces and nephew broken up into several homes, and repeatedly being given back to their drug-addicted mother. Mind you, the youngest child was actually confirmed to having been born addicted to Meth. The whole court system is really screwed up, and hard to fight the battle against mothers.
How does your boyfriend feel about it? Has he been there since day one? Up to date on child support? Do you think he wants the responsibility of this child, and you have to keep in mind yourself that it will be much harder than you can bargain for, what if you want children of your own, or how will it affect your children if you already have some? Not trying to discourage you in any way but make sure you think of every avenue and remember that it won't be easy and there is a high chance his daughter will be resentful towards you, her mother, her father, and everyone else that turned her world upside down. How close are the girls? They are literally going to be ripped apart and placed into seperate homes? Where is the other child going to go? You said you didn't want her, is that even a possibility that you would take her, what if the girls are mad at you for separting them. What if you decide you don't want her anymore, that it becomes too much? What if the father decides this? How will it affect you and your boyfriends relationship? Etc, Etc, Etc.
I just thought I'd put those questions out there for you to think about because I have been there and understand the devistation of a child being ripped out of the only home they know (regardless of how bad things are, and sometimes teenagers - they practically are - say they don't want to be there one minute and change their minds the next) I don't know you, or every detail about this, and I apologize in advance if I offend you in any way but I felt it was important for me to be open and freely express what my concerns would be in any given situation. I certainly understand your frustration and admire your willingness to care for her
I have talked to each of the girls one on one and Lizzy cries to me that she wants away from her mother. She'll be 12 next month. Alyssa wants no part of me or her father. She's very lazy and doesn't want to do anything, unless it's eating. I made breakfast for them last Sunday and Alyssa ate twice as much food as I did and then one hour later she was looking in the fridge for something to eat. Last friday I got on a birth control devices (IUD) that lasts up to 5 years. Reason being, I have 2 kids (boy and girl) and I don't want anymore. The girls are very close, but it seems like every other weekend they are more distant from each other. My b/f wants Lizzy, because she's failing in school and needs help. I know I can help her. I am very upset with everything that is going on with Alyssa too. I think she's lazy because that's all she does at her moms house. Yes, I've been thru custody battles myself, but I was the mother and a good one at that. My kids' dad is not in the picture what so ever and I don't get child support. My boyfriend has talked about adopting them, but is kinda skittish on doing so because of this whole mess. I love both of those girls and I just want the best for them. Even though Alyssa drives up the wall and back down and then up again, she still feels like apart of me. In all honesty, I dont even feel like pushing the issue any farther, because I don't know what will happen. Lizzy called me last night and asked if I could come over and look at the bugs in their sink. It was late and I couldn't, but I did ask her to decribe to me what they were. They were maggets! Gross, if you ask me. I think it might just take me going head to head with their mother and giving her some of my thoughts. Not in a mean way, but maybe in a way that will open her eyes a little. Grant it she's 11 years older than I am. And thanks for the advice, I'll keep ya posted if anything else goes dramatic.
