Messages By: mickey_64

I was married to a man I met while we were in the military.  He was considered a "man's man",  and all the women wanted him, too.  I wasn't in love with him, just wanted to be married because I was in my early 30s and figured it was what I was supposed to do (be).  I knew he couldn't keep it in his pants, the night  before we got married he was sleeping with his female boss, an Army Major.  Well, I hoped once we were married he'd change.  He certainly did that!!! It wasn't two years later the romance and sex stopped between him and me.  He was spending late hours at work, being very secretive, would not communicate with me regarding issues of our married life together, when we visited his family consisting of four sisters, his mom and dad, he would go off for hours with his sisters, one who even gave him French kisses when she thought I wasn't looking, and ultimately ended up being impregnated by my husband.  Yes, I learned quickly that his interest was sharing his affections with as many other people he could, except me.  Even other men in the Army would need him to go places with them for hours at a time, and I found out there was much, shall we say hanky panky, going on with some officers who found him to be quite attractive.  One night when my husband was drinking and had quite a bit, he broke down and began to cry, then he told me all sorts of things, like his escapades with his sisters, nieces, nephews, other women and some of the men.  This confession was in 1985, after 11 years of marriage, nine of which we spent living together more as roommates than anything else.  I moved out of the home shortly thereafter and our divorce was final in December, 1986.  The man divorced me at a time I was unable to contest the provision of the divorce, so even after being married for 12 years, I received nothing, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING in the divorce.  I was always faithful to him, and contributed to the marriage 100% with regard to finances, etc. but he always put his parents and other family members, his job and his friends ahead of me.  I  was his fourth wife, and I hear he has married at least two more women since. 

I have been on my own for the past twenty years, and I've got the best life I've ever had.  Being a woman doesn't mean I need a man.  There is nothing a man can do for me that I can't do for myself (think about that, lol).  I had the perfect man my very first marriage, he died at age 27 in 1971 of a stroke.  I'm not interested in a committed relationship anymore. 

I don't understand how any woman with respect for herself, something all women should place first in their life, stay with a man who has cheated on her.  My ex-husband was a (please excuse the expression) slut.  He cheated on me the night before we got married, even, but I thought he'd stop when we were married...........NOT.  I never caught him in the act but people constantly told me about him being with this person or that person.  Funny how many men even, came to me and asked if I thought he would ever have sex with men.  It caused me to wonder why they would ask, after a while I realized why.  I gave him the benefit of the doubt for over ten years until one day he got drunk and broke down crying and told me everything, from the fact that he had sex with men, women, his neices, even got his own half sister pregnant.   I should have left him much earlier in the marriage, it would have saved me a whole lot of money.  I was his third wife, I heard he married again after me, and divorced again and married again.  I don't mind that he and I are not together, I have my self-respect and my sanity.  I have a great life that I've made for myself all on my own.  I've been single now for over 20 years and am loving it.  I've been retired since December 31, 2004, financially secure by my own efforts and life is a blast.  I've worked hard to get to where I am now but my credit score, which I got to on my own, is a whopping 797!  YAHOO.  I'm free to do anything I want. 

Here in Reno area, we had something similar to the young boy being caged by his father.  Two young children, a boy and an older girl, were kept locked in a bathroom in the home of their grandmother, mother, and stepfather, for ten years.  They slept on the floor, had very little to eat and were never allowed to leave the small bathroom.  One day the girl managed to overtake her grandmother and get out, with her brother.  The girl was found wandering in the streets and the two were rescued.  The adults were convicted and sentenced to prison terms.  Justice was served.  The two children were put into foster care and are now doing very well.  It just amazes me that parents can do this to their own flesh and blood.   However, my own mother hated her children but that was due to the fact that my dad cheated on her and eventually left her with us to raise, on her own.  But as cruel as she was, she never locked us up or starved us.