Messages By: tiffluv8

Hi everyone, 

I guess I'll start with history/background.  I dated my ex for 3 years, lived with him for 2 1/2, and was engaged to him for 6 months.  Our relationship was rocky towards the end, to say the least; however, I still loved him.  It got to be a little to rocky and I felt as though I was losing myself and I didn't know who I was anymore.  (he is 27 i'm 20)  So, I broke it off with him just telling him I still wanted to be friends but I needed to figure out who I was.  He said that he loved me and he would talk to me later...that was 2 months ago.  At first, I tried to call him 2 times a week and then once a week and for the last 3 weeks I haven't at all.  He still has my things too.  My roommate tried to talk to him to get them back and he said he wasn't going to do it and then he just blocked her on the internet.  Anyways, I feel like I'm making progress and have moved on or at least started too.  I'm finding out just who I am and it feels wonderful.  I feel happy for the first time in a year or so.  Here's the problem.  When is the right time to date?  There are a few guys who are interested and I try but it just doesn't feel right.  I don't trust them, it's awkward, I'm scared of getting hurt again, I'm afraid I'll lose what I've just begun to find, and I've kind of enjoyed being single the last 2 months.  This one in particular guy wants a relationship.  He's sweet and everything a girl could ask for, but it just doesn't feel right, like the timing is off.  Is this normal?  Should I just stop being so cautious and go for it?  Is it ever going to feel right to be in a relationship again?  I don't know what to do or if this is normal.  I'm not in love with my ex, I chose to leave and I stick with that.  However, why does it feel wrong with other guys?   Will I ever date again or am I going to be an old maid? 

Thanks for your opinions and listening! 

tif 

Hi Everyone! 

I'm 20 (almost the big 21) and recently single.  I guess I didn't scroll down enough to see this section.  I've never been single since i was 13..i've bounced from one serious relationship of 5 years to another one of 3 years.  Anyways, I've tried dating a little but I love being single so much.  I like not having to answer to anyone, doing what I want, my phone not ringing and being asked where I am...all that.  However, I feel like I'm leading guys on if I just want to go out and have a few beers and when they call me again I just tell them I'm not into having a relationship right now.  Is this normal?  Dating doesn't feel right for some reason....like the timing is off or something.  Am I being a "player" by going out on the weekends but not wanting a relationship?  I'm not wanting sex or anything like that.  I'm independent and putting myself through school (almost done!).  Is it a bad thing to want to focus no getting my degree and not having a serious relationship?  I'm always upfront with these guys and tell them that I don't want one....but there's this one guy that keeps persisiting.....I guess I'm not sure what to do.  Am I just being to cautious about getting hurt again and should I just jump into the relationship?  Or should I go be a "college student" have a few beers and leave them behind?? Please help........ 

Hi Everyone, 

I was just wondering about a jealousy issue that I have seemed to gained.  I've been in a relationship with a guy for 3 1/2 years, most of it being long distance (only about 4 hours).  We see each other every couple of weekends.  Sometimes it's rocky and it's on again off again a lot lately (within the last year).  Well, it seems during this on again off again stuff, that I grow more jealous each time and I can't help it and I don't know what to do about it.  I've never been jealous.  I'm your typical middle child of three boys (I am the only girl), so I am used to sharing attention and all of that.  My mate has never given me a reason to think he's cheating, but I can't help but see him look at other girls or flirt and he has this thing in his room since he was a kid where everyone signs his wall........well, you can imagine I've been studying it like crazy lately.  I study it and get very angry if I even think there is a new female's name on it.  The jealousy seems to be consuming me.  I don't know why I am jealous, I'm comfortable with myself and since we've been apart before I'm comfortable with knowing that I can make it on my own.  We've been fighting about it a lot lately.  My mom had several affairs while my parents WERE married and still continues to date only men who are married.  Maybe this is the issue.  Anyways, I really need help.  I'm terrified if it doesn't stop I will ruin our relationship.....as b/f-g/f as well as best friends.  We're starting to discuss marriage, but before we make anything permanent I want to make sure this is stiffled.  Can anyone tell me why I could possibly be getting jealous and how to stop it??   

Please, desperate for help, 

tif 

Hey everyone! 

I'm pregnant.......about 7 weeks now.  As soon as I told my boyfriend of almost 4 years he freaked out.....he demanded abortion or he would leave.  Well, I don't think abortion is for me so he left and has told me that he wants to sign off his rights as a parent.  Can he just do that??  How is that fair to be able to just do that and leave me with all of the financial burden....not to mention raising a child on my own?  I'm a senior in college......21 years old so it's not like I'm too young or anything.  My mom is being really hard on me telling me how this was a mistake and I've ruined my life and everything else.  Then, she began telling people without my permission, so now they are mad at me for not coming to them......I wasn't ready to tell anyone yet!  She's told me how embarrassed and humiliated she is.........I'm beginning to think maybe keeping it isn't such a good idea.....but I don't think I could live with myself if I didn't, however, it just seems like no one else wants me to keep this baby.   What should I do??  Any advice would be awesome.  Thanks! 

Tiff