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Messages By: fabof3

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November 30, 2006, 12:39 pm PST

Crutch

Quote From: smith2589

 

I wanted to jump in and say that for the most part I believe someone who is hooked on herion or meth or crack needs to experiance the come down.  It may in the future stop them and make them think about the experiance of that.  I think that most of the drugs to pacify them such as methadon is a crutch.  I think with the care of a doctor to maintain wellness and the act of faith it is possiable to get your life back.

I think if you have a broken leg a crutch may be a good thing... ??
 
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December 1, 2006, 2:49 pm PST

Amen

Quote From: nikhoma24

I was an oxycontin, heroin addict for 4 yrs and have now been clean for 3. I'm currently in a methadone program and have been tapering for about a yr. The reason that most people have negative opinions about methadone, and refer to it as a 'crutch' is because they're uneducated on methadone. Methadone and the counseling required while in such a program is much more than a crutch. It saved my life as well as my child's life. I was 3 months pregnant and using opiates every day when the first person suggested methadone and I laughed at them and had similar opinions until I was educated. I started the program when I was 5 months along (I would definetely suggest doing it much sooner!!) and thanks to methadone I have a healthy 3 yr old little boy who is perfect in every way and he has a healthy mom and everything he could ever ask for, most of all, my love and attention. I honestly believe that without methadone, I would have miscarried or lost my child to the state. I think that in making statements such as "methadone is just a crutch" you are discouraging people who  could better themselves and their lives. I don't think that you should make such comments without being properly educated on what you're speaking about. Methadone actually assists in repairing damaged brain cells caused by drug abuse. It is a proven fact that addicts nearly double their chances of remaining clean with a methadone program than without. I speak from first hand experience. I went from a junkie who lived in a car, stole anything that wasn't glued down, lied to everyone I knew (including myself) and refused to talk to my family to a loving mother and wife who works with children and families with disabilities and who only gets high on life. Thank you methadone, thank you family for your support, and most of all thank you God for not judging and always  believing in second chances. And to the person who called methadone a crutch, please educate yourself.

 

Amen Sister!!  Good for you, I am sure you have made many and (yes you too) very proud!!  Thank you for the insights on the methadone, you are right many don’t understand it and they need to educate themselves. 

I think this show has gotten my attention more than another, I will continue to pray for them, and also Thank Them for opening my eyes to this sad truth! 

I do want to say that

 

  he who has no sin may cast the first stone...

 

Please don’t judge the ladies, the mother or the father on this one. Blame will get no one anywhere!!!  But we are human with our opinions... but the judgment is just crazy to me I just can’t grasp that...

 

Twins and Mom .. good luck... I have faith and hope and love for you all!!  Please, please, please get well very soon!!   Remember God works all things for Good!!!

 

 
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December 2, 2006, 7:58 am PST

Affair HIS issue

Quote From: carcrash

I think it is excellent that u lost so much weight  and had the courage , will power and stamina to do it. Fantastic and God bless u. One chapter in your life is now over, so the next chapter has just begun.  You will loose that excess weight and u will  look fantastic and u will feel good, happy, and emotionally as well as mentally you will be on the path to a happy, successful and finally a life u have been dreaming about.  Now as I am writing this to u my life came crashing down a few days ago.  I am 40 pounds overweight I know that is nothing compared to what u have lost but these extra 40 pounds ruined my life.  My husband has been on my back for years telling me to get rid of this extra weight.  Many times I tried, sometimes with success but then the weight would come back on.  after 16 years and three kids my husband had an affair and the woman is now pregnant.  Was the cause of his affair because I didn't try hard enough to loose this 40 pounds?  It is too late now I will have to deal with this for the rest of my life and if this is finally the incentive i have been looking for to really loose these 40 pounds it is tragic for me and for my torn family.

Hello!  Just felt the need to interject regarding your post.  First of all, yes you are heading for a very long road here with your current situation; it is hard on the entire family.  I urge you do not beat yourself up with your husband having an affair.  I have been in your shoes, my husband had many, many affairs, now let me just tell you I believe that an affair has absolutely NOTHING to do with YOU!! NOTHING TO DO WITH SEX, OR HOW YOU LOOK!!  I know you want to blame yourself and you are thinking that if I just would have.... he would not have had an affair... WRONG!!  His affair is his issue he has something inside of him, a void that he is trying to fill!!  I am glad that you can look at this as an incentive to loose your weight, but do it for you!!  Please do not blame yourself, I am a very well built woman and was a very good wife to my ex husband, I love sex, love my body… he still cheated, I blamed myself and began to trade my soul to him and Begged him to work it out with me... UGGG What was I thinking?  Don’t let this man of yours destroy the beautiful woman that you are!!  Fall back in love with yourself!!  Let your beauty shine, and please know that it is NOT ABOUT WHAT YOU COULD HAVE DONE... PUT IT BACK ON HIM, HIS ISSUE NOT YOURS!!! 

 
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December 20, 2006, 12:01 pm PST

A Piece of Paper??

I have read on this board a few times that marriage is a piece of paper… I am….well a little disturbed by that!!  Marriage is soooo much MORE than paper!  But I suppose if that is how you view marriage and marriage vows then perhaps…. You are correct in NEVER being MARRIED!!   I think it is sad that in today society, we just don’t  place value on marriage, it is disposable.  I think it is fabulous!!  Perhaps I am just lucky that my husband and I do not have a simple piece of paper as our glue!!  Good luck to you all!!

 
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December 23, 2006, 11:03 am PST

Shine ladies!!

Ok Ladies here it goes… First of all I don’t think the fashion industry has a thing to do with the way we women look fat or skinny or in between.  First of all these skinny little itty bitty women are doing a JOB and that is to showcase clothing, not themselves.  Yes, the runway models are very thin and tall but then you have large Women who model for those big girl clothes as well.  Who cares… I don’t know about any of you but I personally would not spend the money to purchase anything that the runway models are modeling for… would you… I mean have you seen some of the stuff in Vogue??  Crazy stuff girls!! Ewwww...

Anyway, we all have a hard time finding things to fit, large or skinny, not because of the way it fits but how we feel and how we “think” we look.  I am 36/24/36. I have a great body… 3 kids… and yes I have had plastic surgery, and I am very proud that I did that for myself, I am fortunate I was able to do that for me… So? I still don’t like the way some pants fit my bottom.  But it is not the issue of the modeling industry.   We are all Beautiful in our own way.. Shine for YOU…others will see it, I am sure.. and if they don’t… you love you so who cares??

 

 
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January 3, 2007, 10:37 am PST

what I want this year...

Quote From: heren44

 I AM REPLYING TO THE LETTER FROM GENNY2.  YOU WANT YOUR STEPSON TO FACE THE FACT HIS MOM IS DEAD-THAT HE CAN'T CHANGE THAT?  YOU WANT HIM TO STOP USING HER DEATH AS AN EXCUSE TO ACT BADLY; "PEOPLE ARE BORN, THEY LIVE AND THEY DIE EVERY DAY. WE MOURN FOR A SHORT TIME BUT THEN HAVE TO LIVE YOUR LIFE."  YOU FAILED TO SAY HOW OLD YOUR STEPSON WAS......WAS HIS AGE LEFT OUT OF THIS CONVERSATION INTENTIONALLY?
PERHAPS; HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT THAT HE DOES NOT WANT TO LIVE WITH HIS FATHER AND YOU BECAUSE YOU WILL NOT LET HIM GRIEVE IN THE WAY HE HAS TO FOR HIS MOTHER?????  YOU ALSO NEVER MENTIONED; IS THIS AUNT HE WANTS TO LIVE WITH HIS MOTHERS SISTER?  IF SO, THAT WOULD MAKE ALOT OF SENSE ALSO-THAT WOULD MAKE HIM FEEL CLOSER TO HIS MOTHER!
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, I WAS 13 WHEN MY MOTHER DIED.  I WAS IN THE 9TH GRADE; SHE PASSED IN FEBRARY AND I DID NOT ATTEND SCHOOL EXCEPT FOR MAYBE A MONTH AFTER THAT FOR THE REST OF THE YEAR!  CONSEQUENTLY, I FAILED THAT YEAR OF COURSE-BUT BY 10TH GRADE; THEY ALLOWED ME TO DOUBLE UP ON THE 2 COURSES THAT I FAILED, AND WAS BACK UP IN THE CLASS I BELONGED IN.  BOTTOM LINE IS, I CARRIED MY MOTHERS DEATH AROUND WITH ME UNTIL 2000; UNTIL I FINALLY GOT COUNSELING FOR IT!!!  MY MOTHER DIED IN 1970-I CARRIED THAT FOR 30 YEARS!  BECAUSE NOBODY BOTHERED TO GET ANY HELP FOR ME; NOBODY THOUGHT ENOUGH OF WHAT I MAY BE GOING THRU!!!
I JUST THINK YOU ARE SO WRONG IN WHAT YOU ARE DOING, AND HOW YOU ARE HANDLING THIS POOR KID-GROW UP; AND THINK OF HIM FOR A CHANGE-INSTEAD OF HOW YOU CAN CHANGE HIM!!!     INSTEAD; HELP HIM!

Yes, you go girl!! 

I want to respond to Genny2 also… You want to sit there and complain about your stepson… this is awful.  This should really not be your problem.  Perhaps he does not want to be raised by a feeling less overweight smoker who doesn’t want to believe anyone could possibly have it worse than yourself.  You seem to be resentful of this boy for whatever reason; I would have to agree with your HUSBANDS CHILD on this, I would not want to live with you either.  You say your little girl is the light of your life??  Ok, I get that but why is the other 2 your grown child and your HUSBANDS child not in that equation.  I have 2 step children, they are wonderful, I have 3 of my own and I love them differently yes, but in no way would I choose one over the other... that is just wrong. 

I think you should have some empathy here for this young man. YOU HAVE BEEN THERE YOURSELF, perhaps you are just as I said too stuck in your own pain to recognize that this child HAS THE RIGHT TO HURT FOR HIS MOTHER who I am sure loved him very much and would never allow anyone to blame him for bad behaviors due to a PAINFUL DEATH.  I am so angry with your statements AND YOUR BEHAVIOR WHAT CAN YOUR HUSBAND CHILD BLAME THAT ON?… YOU NEED TO GROW UP AND REMOVE YOURSELF FROM THIS CHILD THE LAST THING HE NEEDS IN HIS LIFE AT THIS POINT IS A SELF SERVING, NEGATIVE, HATEFUL, RESENTFUL ( I can go on)  STEP PERSON (I don’t even want to use the term step parent… you have not earned it in my book!!)  I HOPE HE CAN GET WHAT HE NEEDS FROM HIS AUNT!! CLEARLY YOU ARE INCAPABLE OF GIVING HIM ANYTHING WORTH WHILE AT THIS TIME….Dr. Phil needs to kick your butt!!  You ought to be ashamed of yourself for pouting and whining about your pitiful life you have made choices and they have landed you right where you are!!  On a kinder note… I think it is good you are asking for help, although it should be for YOU not your HUSBANDS CHILD.

 
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January 4, 2007, 9:10 am PST

sorry

Quote From: the_unknown

You may find that you earned it yourself.  I am sure you could have found constructive ways to tell someone you think her focus is in the wrong place.  And it is a very good idea, as well.  There is no one who never acts in a selfish matter.  Would you want to be told you were a bad person or even a "non-person" instead of being told you made a bad decision?

 

Sorry, to offend you and Genny2... you are right I should not call names and insult. That is not nice behavior.  You are absolutely 100% right. Thank you for bringing it to my attention!!  I will stop, I wont let it happen again... I really am better than that, I did post another right before this... so sorry for that ahead of time!! 

I just can’t seem to wrap my brain around it...I don’t think messing with a Childs life can be dismissed as a bad decision!!!    I am sure that I have never and will never EARN anything like this, I don’t think any of us EARNS OR DESERVES BAD THINGS THAT WE my have to endure, think or feel... BUT if in fact I ever do...I will not blame a CHILD!! I don’t think she "deserves" this life I think it is a matter of choice for her. I do know that God Loves US BOTH, I am sure he will work it for good in that young mans life...

 

 

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