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Messages By: oneofseven

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December 11, 2005, 8:51 am PST

Sounds Good....But

Quote From: wizardatm

Well... I hear what you are saying in respect to online dating services... but I've only tried Match and Yahoo, so I can't speak for any others.  But I can tell you that you don't need to go to an online dating service to get hooked up with a frootcake... actually my experience is just the opposite. 

When I posted my profile on the Match and Yahoo, I was quite specific about WHO I AM and whom I was looking for. Regardless of that I was deluged with winks and missives from so many women, and as it turned out... I finally realized that there are a significant number of lonely unhappy women (and men for that matter) out there.  I was not looking for anyone to complete me or to make me happy cuz that just ain't gonna happen.  No one can make you complete, and no one can make you happy.. that's YOUR job, and until you get that figured out, you are fair game to the con artists and others out there who are looking for you to complete them or make them happy. 

So rather than wasting your life and your happiness because you're afraid you're going to get taken advantage of,  I suggest a fair number of women and men out there should perform a little life saving exercise and take the time to write down "exactly" who you are... what turns your crank, what doesn't... what qualities are intrinsic to you... you're not about to change at this stage of the game and neither is your potential mate... that has always proven to be an exercise in futility.  Go DEEP... forget what they look like... forget the superficial crap that we are inundated on a daily basis.  Pretend you are BLIND... and think about what really matters to you... never mind what career the person has, or how much money they have or don't have, look to discover who the person is, look for someone who took the time to lay it all out and significantly cut your chances of being led astray or disappointed because you gave your heart away to someone who wasn't who he or she purported to be. Cash is great to have, but it isn't the goal, it's simply a tool which you can use to sustain your comfort level, and its your comfort level that you seek... money can come later.  

Do your best to not get caught in the trap of superficial bullshit... who really cares what the rest of the planet thinks about how much "stuff" you've acquired... you can't take stuff with you, and things only provide distractions from the essence of life anyway, just ask anyone who has lost someone dearly close to them... the money means nothing because money cannot replace what they just lost. 

What I am saying is this... don't blame the online services, blame yourself for NOT being yourself and blame yourself for not seeking the type of person who is on the same channel as you... opposites may attract and can make for some lively times, but I don't think those types of relationships have the fundamental foundation from which to build on.  Only YOU have the answer to YOUR happiness and YOUR fulfillment... you just have to dig down a little deeper than you've done in the past.  The answer is inside you. 

I hear what you are saying; people should look and dig deeper within themselves for some answers. However, I don't think you have ever been duped by a con artist. I met my con artist on an online dating site. After I ridded myself of this socipathic individual, I found he had placed at least six ads online. I wrote to the online dating sites. I provided concrete information for them that he was married, not only to me but to another; I provided them information that he had been indicted on a felony charge. In fact, I wrote to them five times warning them that he was preying on members of their online dating community. Finally, after I told one of the dating sites that I had placed an "invisible" ad and was warning as many women as I could, did they pull both of his ads.

This man was smooth, not only that, he had a Department of Defense Security Clearance to back him up. I surely thought that signaled verifiable integrity. I was wrong. Do you realize that most psychopathic, sociopathic, antisocial con artists can pass lie detector tests?

Yu must realize that  these con artists have been lying since they could talk. They are masters at their game. We semi-normal individuals inherently trust and we don't stand a chance around them...unless we educate ourselves about them. Herin is where the problem lay...con artists are quite aware of the fact the world is full of people like ourselves. Con artists prey on innocent, trusting people. And the Internet has just given them another source of supply...they can sit behind a computer screen and be anyone they want to be, all the while gaining our CONfidence and our trust.

We, as a society,  must get smarter. If  you chose to do online dating...check them out, and I am afraid that looking a little deeper inside you isn't going to help much when faced with a manipulative, consummate lying con artist. If you see that you are becoming very involved with a person you met online, do a background check, Google their name, and educate yourself about the red flags.
 
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December 11, 2005, 4:26 pm PST

12/12 Conned by a Con Artist

Quote From: fighter9

Please do some searches on PSYCHOPATH and DESTRUCTIVE NARCISSISTIC PATTERN. 

  

These people: 

- scam others 

- PASS LIE DETECTOR TESTS 

- seem completely normal 

- prey on the best & brightest (and those with some MONEY) 

  

No, sorry - online dating isn't for me.  I have looked very deep within myself.  Sorry but thats sort of fast-food psychology doesn't cut it when you deal with these guys.  Also, this is NOT the fault of the victim.  12 years of therapy for PTSD from these con men has taught me that!!!  There is NOT A THING WRONG with us.  It's them.  Dr. Robert Hare has a great book out called THE PSYCHOPATH NEXT DOOR.  Go read it.  Only a small percentage of them are killers.   

  

I am out there, in society, interacting with others in healthy positive ways.  But online dating? or even dating in general?  Not after you have had one of these types in your life.  I am interested in one thing: my children.  But don't worry about me - hey, more for you!! 

Hare's book, Without Conscience: The Disturbing World of the Psychopath's Among Us was a lifesaver for me as well as counseling. The counseling will continue, and I will continue to learn as much as I can about these predators so this will never happen again. Hare's book should be on everyone's must read list as well as Martha Stout's, The Sociopath Next Door, not just the must read list of victims. Everyone needs to learn what to look for. Until we know what to recognize:  the signs, the red flags, and the subtleness of the antisocial con artist, we are all targets. Dr. Hare hit the nail on the head when he said:

Psychopaths are social predators who charm, manipulate and ruthlessly plow their way through life, leaving a broad trail of broken hearts, shattered expectations and empty wallets. Completely lacking in conscience and feelings for others, they selfishly take what they want and do as they please, violating social norms and expectations without the slightest sense of guilt or regret."
 


 

 

 
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December 17, 2005, 6:09 am PST

Ed Hicks Arrested After Viewer Sees Dr. Phil

Ed Hicks, the con artist first profiled on the show was arrested after a North Carolina woman viewing the show recognized him as the man dating her sister. The woman and her sister appeared on Good Morning America on Thursday. Read the latest at:

http://fightbigamy.typepad.com/my_weblog/2005/12/ed_hicks_latest.html

The woman says she is still in love with Ed Hicks................
 
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December 24, 2005, 3:10 pm PST

12/12 Conned by a Con Artist

Quote From: stressed38

I'm married to a real con artist who preys on women who make a decent living.  he goes from woman to woman, uses them, then goes to the next.  he's a drug addict, sex addict and gambling addict.  he needs to be stopped and I need help to stop him so that he destroys no more.   what do I need to do.  who can I go to.  who can help.  I am seeking divorce and he is seeking to destroy me even more than he has.  help please
Write the lady who runs this blog:
http://spaces.msn.com/members/survivingabadchoice/

She was the victim of a notorious con man, William Michael Barber. Her blog email is: texanrose1@hotmail.com.
 
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August 12, 2006, 4:40 pm PDT

Antisocial, Psychopath, Sociopath

Quote From: sharly

There is a big difference between the term antisocial and sociopath. A sociopath has  no conscious and no empathy for others. Some people who are antisocial are shy or do not like large gatherings etc. there are medications advertised on TV all the time for this.
After I realized what Ed Hicks was, I had to get my head around what he had done to me and so many others. So, I began researching sociopaths (psychopaths). I have done much reading and research on the subject, and even attended a seminar by the world's foremost authority on psychopaths--Dr. Robert Hare who authored the book, "Without Conscience, The Disturbing World of the Psychopaths Among Us."

A psychopath is not the same as an antisocial personality. Anti social personalities may or may not be psychopathic.  The antisocial personality is primarily a problem involving a failure to respect the right of individuals, the law and rules of society.  Psychopathy involves poor emotional intelligence, the lack of conscience, and an inability to feel attached to people except in terms of their value as a source of stimulation or new possessions.  There are many expressions and forms of psychopathy. There is a significant amount of evidence to suggest that: 
  • there may be a genetic influence that creates a psychopathic personality
  • adult psychopaths do not benefit from traditional counseling therapy and may in fact offend again and sooner because of it
  • the brain of a psychopath may function and process information differently from those of non-psychopaths
  • less intelligent psychopaths end up in prisons (highly intelligent psychopaths can run companies--Hare's new book is called "Snakes in Suits--When Psychopaths Go To Work")
  • psychopathic behavior may have once had a strong genetic "survival of the species" value
  • psychopathic personalities are much more common than most of us realize
 When we taped the show in October 2005, Hicks and the other guy were called psychopaths (sociopaths). But unforunately, the lawyers always ax these terms. That is a shame, for they are the most destructive of humans and viewers need to know what they are so they can recognize the signs. These creatures wreak havoc in people's lives, both emotionally and financially, without conscience and without remorse. To read more and become educated on how you can avoid falling victim, go to: http://www.lovefraud.com

A psychopath never remains attached to anyone or anything. They live a "predatory" lifestyle. They feel little or no regret, and little or no remorse - except when they are caught. They need relationships, but see people as obstacles to overcome and be eliminated.  If not,  they see people in terms of how they can be used. They use people for stimulation, to build their self-esteem and they invariably value people in terms of their material value (money, property, etc..).

Sandra
 
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August 12, 2006, 4:48 pm PDT

I sure agree....

Quote From: sharly

 A con man (or woman) is a symptom, just like bigamy is a symptom of the much larger problem...these people are sociopaths (psychopaths) and until we start calling them what they really are, people will never learn the signs and how to protect themselves. A great read on this is: http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2006/03/05/call-ed-hicks-a-bigamist-but-not-a-sociopath/

Sandra
 

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