Messages By: five_o

I am at my wits end. My kids are non-stop, on the go, but when it comes down to harnessing that energy to help me around the house, they are automatically tired. I work 3 jobs, and I'm in school full time (5 classes). I am a police officer; I deliver pizzas; and I work loss prevention (security) at a department store. I am on-call for the ambulance when I am not working or in school. I was laid off from Maytag, when they moved the Galesburg (IL) plant to Mexico. I worked there from the time I was 19 until I was 26. My husband works 2 jobs. My daughter is 5 and my son is 8. I just went to their parent teacher conferences and their teachers both told me that they wish they had more students like my children. They raved about how quietly they sit, and how well they follow directions and get along with other children, and how they can tell that we work together on studying and homework. I know this should make me happy, but I was fuming by the time I left. I have proof that they know how to, and are able to, behave. So why are they so terrible to me? When they are asked to pick up their toys laying all over the house they fight. Bathtime is a fight. If I ask for them to start on their homework, WWIII breaks out. My son will litterally throw himself on the floor and kick his legs and scream. My daughter screams at the top of her lungs. I have actually had neighbors call my Chief and tell him they think I abuse my kids! If anything I think I abuse them by not being strict enough. I always end up being the one who gives in and I just do it myself. In the eyes of the publice I am held at a higher level than most people (because of me being a police officer), and it's just easier to do it myself then deal with nosey neighbors who have no idea what they are talking about. I've tried being nice, I've tried being a bully (not very good at it), I've tried bribing them, now their teachers and I have a plan with using smiley face notes through the week. We thought that maybe if I tell them that I am going to tell their teachers how they are acting they will think twice about being bad. Rewards of stickers would be given at the end of the week for good behavior. Really, I just want to know why they only do it with me. Am I doing something wrong, do they hate me, are they acting out because I'm gone so much.....I need to know.

I'm sorry I have no advise to give you. I hope that the pediatrician that you saw can give you some help. My children are very vocal. They have never hit me, but they can scream loud enough for 50% of our town to hear. I am a police officer, and I have been on many calls where the parents don't know what to do, so they call me. Maybe using an authority figure (someone other than mom and dad) to tell your child that his behavior is not acceptable would help. Again, I'm sorry I can't help anymore than that, but I'm at a dead end with my own children. Good luck.