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Messages By: lpewagoner

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November 4, 2005, 12:28 am CST

baby colic

I AM A GRANDMOTHER OF A NEW INFANT 1 MO OLD. MY DAUGHTER(MOTHER) IS HAVING A LOT OF TROUBLE DEALING WITH THE BABY COLIC, AND LACK OF SLEEP. DOES ANYONE HAVE ANY SUGGESTONS? 
 
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November 9, 2005, 9:15 pm CST

bedwetting

Quote From: girls3boy1

Hi.  I just wanted to let you know you aren't alone.  Has Dr. Phil ever done a show on bedwetting?  I sure wish he would.  My son will be 9 in January and he also wets the bed EVERY night.  It is so exhausting. I have three daughters.  One is only a baby, but the other two have never had any trouble with bedwetting.  I know it's more common in boys, but I feel so badly for him.  His sisters (one older, one younger)  have not wet the bed since they were 2, but  he still does every night.  I just pray that he stops wetting, before the baby is potty trained.  I know that will make him feel even more humiliated.  I don't punish him or ridicule him for the problem, but I have tried everything else... waking him in the middle of the night, limiting fluids, rewarding him if he could stay dry... none of it helps.  We even bought one of those alarms.  Doesn't shock him, just goes off whenever he starts to wet and is supposed to wake him up.  It doesn't wake him up.  It wakes me up, if I use a baby monitor so that I can hear it go off, but then it is a true battle to try and get him out of bed and to the bathroom.  He sleeps so deeply that I cannot get him awake most of the time.  We have lived out of the country for the past few years as missionaries, and pull-ups or Goodnights were not available there (3rd world country).  So, we just had to make due with soaked sheets and pjs EVERY morning.  Now that we are living back in the States, my husband wants him to wear Goodnights.  My son thinks it is way too embarrassing to wear what he thinks are "diapers" and isn't reassured by the thought that "lots of kids wear these".  He'd rather wake up soaked, than to wear them.  My husband thinks I should force him to wear them until he outgrows this.  I don't know what to do, or how to best avoid damaging his self-esteem in this whole issue.   I'm also so tired of the laundry and the smell...  Any ideas, anyone?

My daughter was bed wetting until she was in 8-9 yrsw old. I had her evaluated by a urologist to be sure there were no physical problems. Then we tried the medication, the medication did not help. she was allergic to it. We did use the electric shock equipment , but I think you misunderstand how it works. It does not shock the child. It only produces an alarm to wake the child and parent up when the child begins to bedwett. then you go to the child and use a cold cloth to help the child to wake up from their deep sleep, and then you  can take the child to the bathroom to urinate. This helped my daughter to understand when she should go to the bathroom and she would wake up from a deep sleep with this procedure. She became trained from bedwetting in a couple of weeks.  I wished I had used it sooner, then maybe she would not have had to go through the humilitation she experienced growiing up. we did not have the pull-ups back then and she was upset when this would happen and her sister would always comment about it even though I told then not to critize or make fun of her. She has not had any more trouble since then. Hope this helps you.  

I am a grandmother now helping my grandchildren potty train. so0 far none are bed wetters. You do know that this runs in familys.    lpewagoner 

 
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November 16, 2005, 10:16 pm CST

baby colic

Quote From: kieara

I too have a new born she is now 3 months old. After she was born she would cry for hours no matter what we tried to do to comfort her. her pediatriction game me a can of Alimentum Advance with iron for colic and food allergies. It works great we have been using the same formula ever since and she nolonger cries because of an upset tummy or gas. it works great I recomend you ask your daughters pediatriction about it. my daughter sleeps through the night now.
Thank you for your advice. I have not heard of that formula but will check into it. Hope it works.
 
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November 16, 2005, 10:19 pm CST

baby colic

Quote From: rwc2002

My nephew had colic for 3 months, trust me we all helped out in shifts!!! Anyway, the best thing we found that worked is to wrap a heating pad in a towel and lay it across their belly, then wrap them very snug in a blanket. PLEASE BE VERY CAUTIOUS WITH THE HEATING PAD!! It seemed like the warmer he was the better he felt......this may not work for everybody, but it definitly gave US some relief!!!!!
I had read where you could use a heating pad but was unsure how safe it was. I will try wraping it in a towel and see if it works. We do try to keep her wrapped snuggly and hold her close to us when we rock her. Thank you.
 
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November 18, 2005, 2:56 am CST

baby advise

Quote From: mothermoon

I have not ever heard of that book. I am sure it is great, but take it from a real mother. There isnt a book in the world that will give you any advice that is worth a darn..... 

And my real advice.....Do not take in everything you read....No book will be able to teach you anything about being a mom. Not even the ones from real moms.  

  

I took your advice and ordered the book "happiest baby on the block". I let you know if it helps. 

  

 
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November 18, 2005, 3:50 am CST

learning problems

Quote From: qnhoneybee

I understand how frustrating it can be to work with the schools. Kids don't seem to get quality care anymore. That was why they went back to re-establish the ( NCLB) "No Child Left Behind Act," that was enacted in the 70's. However, the teachers are protesting because it would require them to higher their degrees and get masters in their subjects that they teach. I worked as a Title I Aid, Which implements the NCLB and if the program is run right it is an awesome program because it gets everyone involved in working with the child in the program and they work on both ends of the spectrum. It gets the teacher involved, one on one tutoring and from there the Title I Aide speaks to the parents about what they have discovered and helps them work with the child as well.  

  

As a Title I Aide I knew that when working with a child that is having any kind of problem the first thing you do is test them to see where they are at in the subject they are having a problem with. This will tell you what grade level they are working at, exactly what there struggles are and you can help them from there. Usually, for the self-esteem issue, you start at a level below what they tested at. You don't want to start at a level above or even the level they are at because obviously they are going to struggle with that so you give them something you know they can do that will boost their confidence and move up gradually from their. Or even if it is too easy you can tell the child their moving ahead and that alone boosts their self confidence. 

  

This is how they should been or should have been working with your daughter all along. Most children do not know how to read when they first start out in school. If they can it is usually simple words like, I ,and, the, do it etc.. But developmentally most children are not ready to read. Reading is what I worked on with the kindergarten and 1st graders. I did just what you described they did with your daughter and I pulled them out in a small group or individually and worked with them. 

  

It is a good idea to talk to her teacher and see if she will work with you in helping her to have better study habits and find a way a study that works for her. Sometimes making a game out of it helps. Also they have books at most teachers stores that are called "Bridging from grade to grade" I do believe that they have them for Junior High and High School as well and it eases the child into the next grade. Also try to get her to do as much hands on stuff as well. That might help her study. Maybe she needs to visualize what she is learning. Like I said before you will find it will help a great deal if you find a way that best suits her for studying.  

  

I wish I were there and could help you. Or at least educate you on how you can help your daughter. Make sure you ask a lot of questions at conferences to get as much information as you can. Especially on the material they are learning and will be learning through the course of that class. That way you stay a step ahead if you need to. I am assuming that your daughter is in High School since mine is. If she has different classes through out the day then do this with each class. Most classes hand out a syllabus at the beginning of the course and it tells you what they will be learning and when. 

  

Yes, I agree if you can give you daughter a sense of belonging it could go a long way. But, also remember that at this age they are trying more than ever to figure out where they fit at in the world, how they contribute to the World, and how to manipulate it to their advantage. This is all normal. So as you said if you guys have a Family Movie Night and everyone is there it will help with bonding the family. As for husband he may just need to learn from experience how to work with kids and it wouldn't be inappropriate to explain to your kids that he has never had kids and therefore needs to learn how to interact with them and in time he will do that. 

I have been trying to find out what was wrong with your daughter but can't find your original message. My daughter started having problems in middle school that worsened in high school.  I finally found out she was depressed and was having problems making friends. She was a quiet girl and did not express her feelings easily. She also had problems with concentrating while trying to do her homework. My son and I tried to help her but later found out she was having Migraines that interfered with her concentration. When we got her on meds for the Migraines it helped her concentration, but did not help with her making friends. She did have a few, but not real friends you can express you feelings to. When she was a Junior the depression worsened and we saw a counselor who referred us to a psychiatrist. He treated her for the depression and she continued with the counselor. It took several years but we finally found out she was developing Bi-Polar disorder that had been worsening as she had been developing since middle school. This revealed that she had multiple thoughts that interfered with her sleep and concentration while completing tasks, such as school. She did graduate from high school with good grades and 2 yrs college/associate degree. She attempted to complete the last 2 years but developed problems with her bi-polar meds and had to have them adjusted. Since then she has been working and says she will go back to college later. My point is to have your child tested by a trusted doctor or counselor to see if there is a medical problem that could be interfering with her ability to do her school work. There are also some private tutoring places that might help her get on top of her schoolwork and improve her self-esteem. High school is a very difficult place when you don't have strong support from your family and good self-esteem. The other kids seem to know about it and always make it worse. I also tried to find one thing she was good at and praise her and brag on her about how well she could do this. This also gave her more self-esteem and the encouragement to do more in other areas.  Hope this helps a little.  Linda
 
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November 18, 2005, 3:58 am CST

bi-polar disorder

my daughter has bi-polar disorder ll, and has lived at my house all her life except when she went away to college for 1 year. She is 27 yrs. old and now has a baby. Is there anyone out there who has this disorder? I don't know how to approach her living on her own. She did not do well when she was gone that one year and had to have her meds adjusted and get more counseling. It seems that she always is forgetting to take her meds and gets upset when i remind her about it. She knows she needs to take them but sometimes she thinks she can miss 1-2 doses. Then I find out and realize that this was why she was having problems.  Does anybody knows how I should handle this situation.?Linda
 
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November 19, 2005, 12:22 am CST

bi-polar

Quote From: tammyo1973

If you go to the message board screen and click on mental health there is a board called bipolar. 

  

You may get a lot more answers to your questions on that board than any other. 

  

Also you might want to try 

  

www.nami.org 

http://www.patientcenters.com/bipolar/news/resources.html 

http://www.mental-health-today.com/bp/family_section.htm 

http://www.dbsa.org/ 

  

  

These are all helpful bipolar websites that I have come across. 

  

The key to success would be med compliance and usually some type of talk therapy to work on coping skills.  There are also wonderful books you can read.  

The one that might help both of you is 

The Bipolar Disorder Survival Guide   and  

Bipolar for Dummies. 

  

I have both these books as well as some others and find them very helpful in pinpointing symptoms and how to deal with the ups and downs. 

  

If you have any other questions please feel free to email me at 

mommaoof2@yahoo.com 

  

A little about myself.... I am a mother of a daughter (15 next week) who has bipolar disorder 2. She has been dx since 2003 and has just gone through a course of unstability. She has been hospitalized 4 times sice 2003 and in many intensive type therapy programs. She is currently seeing a psychologist for therapy 1-2 times a week and also a psychiatrist once a month for medication monitoring. 

  

Good luck 

Tammy 

Thank you for the info. I have been to these web sites and found them very helpful. But I have not read the two books you mentioned. I have been  reading  books since we started down this road of ups and down though. I too have suffered from depression for many years as a result of serious illnesses that have plagued me. I have found that seeing a counselor has been very helpful in dealing with the changes that my daughter goes through. I also keep a diary that allows me to express my feelings when I feel stressed out. I feel that on the whole I get along very well with my daughter. We have been to doctors appts together and spend a lot of time talking when the problems occur. I have learned to recognize her symptoms. She does not have the severe mania but is hypo-manic with depression mainly. I seemed that she too rapid cycled as she was going though her developing years. Sometimes I wonder when she will be able to recognize these symptoms without me telling her. I feel that she is too dependent on me and needs to branch out and find new friends of her own, and  develop her own life.  

The baby now has made a big improvement in her, she has had to deal with a lot of stress with the baby having colic and requiring feeding every 3-4 hours. She never new the care of  babies was so demanding. I would like for her to find a new job and be able to move out of my home into her own home for herself and the baby. The father of the baby does not want to get married, but is willing to help with child support.  At least he does want to be around and see the baby at times.  

I guess I am just a worrier but until I know she can do this for herself I will always feel that I need to be there for her. I don't want anything to happen to her or the baby. She has been a very good mother and cares for the baby very well.  I am very proud of how she has accepted the responsibility and care of the baby.  

I hope that your daughter does well. Don't give up about the ups and downs they go through. It seemed that way to when  my daughter was requiring medication adjustment every few months for several years. I think we are finally settled down with these meds and she is seeing the counselor on her own. The hardest part was letting her develop independence. My other two children were not nearly as hard to leave the nest.  The youngest is always the hardest any way, but this has made it doubly hard.   

I am reading the book by Patty Duke. She went through a lot of the things we have discussed and her book is very beneficial in giving insight into how they think. There was another book by a gentleman who also has bi-polar and he wrote about what he went through also. I forgot the title but will try to find it.  

I previously was on the site for bi-polar prior to reading this site but found it less helpful.  

I wish you well during these Holidays and will be praying for you. Linda 

 
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November 19, 2005, 1:36 am CST

sleep meds

Quote From: lookup

Hi, 

What medication has helped you sleep?  I have tried, (I think) everything. 

  

There is nothing shameful about bipolarity.  When I was first diagnosed, I felt as tho I had a huge 

ugly wart on my face that said "screwed up"!!  Yeah, talking about it (I don't mean obsessively), 

helps.  They say when you let something out into the light (not keep it inside), it has a better 

chance of healing.  Makes the whole thing so much worse...keeping it a secret. 

  

It is like telling someone you have diabetes....just a genetic thing.  You didn't go do something horrible to get it....nothing to be ashamed of...nothing at all.  Think of it as something that makes 

you special..   

  

PS....After being diagnosed with it, I have thought a lot about "normal"...I am not so sure that normal 

is even a word that should be allowed to exist!!   What is "normal".  ?  Cannot think of one single 

thing....people do not come standardized.  This just makes you more "interesting"...think of it like that, instead.  Shame, all by itself, is wretched to suffer...let that, at least, go.  Name one single 

"normal" person.  Just try it !!! 

Hi! my name is Linda and my daughter has bi-polar and had a very hard time sleeping also. She would go for long periods without sleep and then crash and sleep all day and night. The psych doc put her on Seroquel after trying several other meds and it helped a lot. Once she took it she was asleep in an hour and would sleep 8-10 hrs straight every day. Now she is controlled on Wellbutrin,Prozac, Trileptal, and Klonipin. She still has a few problems but is able to talk them out and go on. I hope this helps you. Linda
 
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November 19, 2005, 1:43 am CST

normal

Quote From: dhawes57

In regards to the sleep aids.. LUNESTA was my favorite. but medicade does not cover this medication. So I take TEMAZEPAM 15 mg.. I take it and about 2 to 3 hours later I am ready for sleep. it helps me to at least sleep. literally there were DAYS I would not sleep.  

         I have to reply to NORMAL also.. I have taken meds now that have come close to what others may call a normal person. but I was like a zombie almost. and if that was normal. I don't want it. I lost that "out there person" I am fun, giddy, and feeling. I state things as I see them usually. and have found that with some of the medication I was perscribed it took the inner most me ... away...  

I stated to a normal. meaning. not so down, that I just waste days away. I want to be able to hold a job. to leave my home. to handle a productive life. but I have found I will go day by day by day..sometimes sitting in the same place. just exisisting.. and that is very hard for me to handle.. I want that type of normal.. that I would be a productive lady on this earth..  There were insodinces in my life. that overwhelmed me, and I snapped. and haven't gotten back on track since.  

But can I name one person Normal.. DR> PHIL and ROBIN<, closest to normal I can say.. even against all odds, they have made something of themselves. THey can laugh at themselves. they can handle the kids moving away. they have goals. they believe in each other. Maybe I put them on a pedistal. but I try not to.. It is just feeling proud of them, the hope they give to others.. that it can be done. Love the honesty they put out..  

In regard to normal there is no one who is normal. The ones we think are normal have learned to hide their problems very well. If you look in their skeleton closets you would find all kinds of problems that no one talks about until they trust you. Once they trust you , you can find out they also have problems and have learned to deal with it, has received treatment, or is currently receiving treatment. Dont get down on yourself about all of this. We can only do the best we can and hope our Faith and our friends help us get through the tough times. Linda
 

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